Saturday, August 05, 2006

Leg Man [TOS: K,S,Mc,Sc, Chek Rating PG]

Disclaimer: Paramount owns these characters. I just use them for my own… gratification.

Title: Leg Man
Series: TOS
Pairing: S, K, Mc, Ch, Sc
Rating: PG-13
Archiving: Ask permission, please.

~Leg Man

“Me? I’m a leg man, myself. Nothing like a nice pair of long, slim stems”, sighed McCoy.

“Aye, doctor. I’d agree that a nicely turned ankle is a comely sight, but nothin’ beats kissin’ a lass wi’ soft, sweet full lips.”

Chekov raised a hand. “You’re right, Mr. Scott. Except for a woman with a large, round behind. Here’s to a big, Russian ass!”

“I’ll drink to that,” laughed McCoy.

“Aye, a big Russian ass!” Scotty raised his glass with a nod and a wink toward Chekov.

McCoy choked on his whiskey and sputtered laughter. Chekov thrust out his lower lip and nodded his head proudly.

“You alright, Bones?” Kirk chuckled and thumped the doctor on the back. McCoy waved his hand and wiped tears from his eyes.

“What about you, Keptin? Any favorite?”

“Mr. Chekov, I’m a breast man. It was a sad day when Starfleet raised those necklines. Not that I objectify women or anything.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and took a sip from his tea. “The veracity of that statement bears some scrutiny, Captain.”

“Are you calling me a liar, Spock?”

“I fail to see the reasoning behind assessing women according to their individual anatomical components.”

“Come on Mr. Spock. Don’t tell me that you don’t have a favorite?”

“Mr. Chekov, I find this conversation to be not only unseemly but also disturbing.”

“Unclench, Spock. We’re on Risa, on shore leave, at the end of our mission. We’re all equals here.” McCoy grabbed a bottle from a passing waiter and started pouring another round. “And don’t forget, I know all your secrets. I’m two shots away from spilling the beans. Scotty, did you know that Vulcans, for all their suppressed--”

“Leave him alone, Bones.”

“It is not necessary for you to protect me from the Doctor, Captain. I am unfazed by his juvenile goading.”

“Then give it up, man!” shouted McCoy.

“Since you insist on pursuing this subject, Doctor, I will admit that while I do not believe that I pay particular attention to any specific body part, I do find that a certain fullness through the thigh on a humanoid female has some appeal.”

Scott turned to Chekov and said, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

“That sounds pretty specific to me,” replied McCoy wryly.

“It is quite logical, Dr. McCoy. It is astonishing that none of you find the same to be true”

“Really, Spock? And why is that?” asked Kirk, staring intently at his friend.

Spock took a sip from his tea and carefully placed the cup back on the saucer.

“Big thighs keep your ears warm.”



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