Friday, February 16, 2007

Just When You Thought it Was Safe...PG

Disclaimer: Paramount owns these characters but they don’t allow them very much fun.

Title: Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Go Back in the Water 1/1
Rating: PG
Author: T’Prahn
Series: TOS
Pairing: S, U, K, Mc, Ch, Su
Archiving: ASCEM, THFFF, Acidqueen. All others ask permission, please.

Late entry for the Valentine’s Day challenge: incorporate "an exotic and tasty treat" and "I'd walk a thousand miles to hear you say that again". No beta. All bloopers belong to me.

Summary: Mother hens...


Kirk sighed luxuriously, burrowed more comfortably into the chaise cushions and flexed his feet to stretch his calf muscles. He had a good climb with Spock that morning. He blew sand off his sunglasses, settled them back on his nose and looked out across the beach. He hooked a finger under the tight leg of his short black swim trunks and made a…minor adjustment.

“I guess the view is affecting you more than you’ll admit.”

“Fuck you, Bones,” he said, frowning and grinning at the same time.

“This is why I have loose swimwear.”

McCoy handed him a dripping mojito and turned to take in the view himself.

Uhura was waist-deep in the foaming, chartreuse surf. Her one-piece bathing suit would have been modest on another woman’s body. Spock stood at the water’s edge with his hands folded behind his back. Uhura beckoned to him but he gave a negative shake of his head. She batted her lashes and gave him a pleading look. Though he could see only the back of Spock’s head, McCoy knew that he raised a brow. Uhura put her hands on her hips and pouted seductively. Spock took a delicate step back when the water curled too close to his toes. She threw up her hands and dove under the next wave. When she did not surface right away, McCoy heard Jim place his drink carefully on the small table next to the chaise, and saw Spock release his hands from behind his back and take a step forward. Uhura popped up out of the water and backstroked a few yards before regaining her feet and waving at Kirk and McCoy. The doctor raised his glass and smiled big.

“I wish she wouldn’t do that,” said Kirk.

“She can take care of herself,” replied McCoy calmly, though he felt the tiniest of flutters deep within his belly. He plopped into the chaise next to Kirk.

“I’m just thinking about the welfare of my crew,” said Jim, keeping his voice casual.

“Relax, Jim. Spock will empty the ocean before he lets anything happen to her. Besides, here comes the cavalry.” McCoy pointed to the beach with his drink.

Chekhov and Sulu came barreling down the sand and dove into the surf. Sulu swam gracefully toward Uhura with clean, powerful strokes, while Chekhov splashed gamely to her in his awkward dogpaddle, a huge grin on his face. Sulu dipped under the water and came up with Uhura on his shoulders. She squealed and gripped his hair in her fists. Chekhov frolicked in the water, launching himself into the air and belly-flopping back down, making bleating sounds in what was an awful imitation of a porpoise or perhaps a sea lion. On his third launch, he lost his shorts. His wet, white butt shone like a beacon. Uhura and Sulu toppled over into the next wave with laughter as Chekhov scrambled after his trunks.

Spock glanced back at Kirk and the doctor. The breeze rifled through his bangs. If you looked very closely, and if you knew him very well, you could see a fleeting, minute shifting of the muscles in his face.

“That kid’s got a beautiful grin,” said McCoy.

Kirk gazed at the doctor in astonishment. “I’d walk a thousand miles to hear you say that again,” he said.

“Oh. I did I say that out loud?”

“Two hours ago, you were calling him pointed-eared automaton.”

“Well, it’s good to see him loosen up,” he grumbled.

“I surprised he agreed to come out here,” said Kirk.

McCoy watched Uhura tug on the straps of her suit. “I thought he’d enjoy the scenery. And, I made it an order.”

“Why Bones, I didn’t know you cared.”

“I’m just thinking about the welfare of the crew,” he snapped.

“I guess it’s too much to ask that you two try to get along.”

“We get along ok.”

“Yeah, in the lab. He’s not as thick-skinned as you think.”

“That’s precisely what I’m talking about.”

Jim sighed. “You lost me.”

“It just kills me that he thinks he’s so alone.”

Kirk grinned at the side of his face until McCoy looked at him. “I think you’re getting sentimental in your old age, doctor,” he said.

“Yes, well. The older I get, the…older I get.”

Two women native to the planet approached from further up the beach.

“Ah. Here comes dinner,” said McCoy.

“I don’t see any food,” said Kirk.

“Use your imagination, Jim boy.” McCoy rose and dusted the sand off his shorts. He looked down at Kirk. “I can ask them if they have a friend, if you like.”

“Both for you?” Jim raised his brows. “Jesus, Bones,” he guffawed.

McCoy frowned in confusion. “What’s the joke?”

Kirk laughed harder and waved his hand. “Nothing. No. Go. Have fun.”

McCoy shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he said, wrapping an arm around each woman’s waist.

Spock returned from the water’s edge and nodded politely as he passed McCoy and the two women. He caught Kirk’s eye.

“I can safely assume that the doctor was being facetious when he said that he was going to have an exotic and tasty treat for dinner this evening,” commented Spock.

Jim grinned and nodded. “Just an old country doctor, my ass.”


Their heads whipped around at the sound of a shriek. Chekhov had body surfed into the back of Uhura’s knees, knocking her over. Kirk and Spock glanced at each other sheepishly.

“I’m not finding this all that relaxing, after all,” said Kirk.


“I just don’t like the crew engaging in dangerous activities on shore leave.”

“We climbed a nearly sheer cliff face this morning with neither belay nor antigrav equipment.”

“That’s different. That was…us. We can do that.”

“We are not immortal, Jim.”

Kirk took a sip of his drink and gazed at his friend. “I don’t know about that, Spock.”

“It is illogical to believe that we will live forever.”

“Gary Mitchell called me the luckiest motherfucker he’d ever met. He called you my Vulcan good luck charm.”

“We are highly trained Starfleet officers.”

“The press calls us “Galactic Heroes”. The “Dynamic Duo”. The best thing since—.”

“I have seen the news vids, Jim. They have the unfortunate tendency to sensationalize what is merely us doing our duty as agents of the Federation.”

“Is that what you tell your mother?” grinned Kirk.

Spock ducked his head and looked away. Jim thought that McCoy might have been right about that grin.

When he turned back, Spock’s face was once again impassive. “My mother can be emotional and over-protective,” he said.

A shout drew their attention to the water just in time to see Sulu and Chekhov fling Uhura high into the air, using their linked arms as a catapult. She executed a perfect swan dive, knifed into the water and came up laughing with delight.

“Ok. That’s enough of that. Someone’s going to get hurt,” said Kirk.

“Agreed. They are taking unnecessary risks,” said Spock.

They stood and hurried casually towards the water’s edge.