Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Favorite Song of All Time

I like the later versions with Animal but this original from 1969 is better. I just love that little nappy-headed creature in his striped turtle neck. I think I had a sweater like that in7th grade.

And this is kind of cool, in a WTF way.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I hate it when everything sucks.

You ever wake up in a foul mood, knowing that you're going to have one of those grinding your back teeth, crappy, "I wish a muthafucker would" days? That was me, today.

Some guy smiled at me this morning and I was all like, "What the fuck you looking at?!".

On the inside.

It must've shown on my face because he blinked at me with wide eyes then frowned and walked away with his head down. Normally I would feel kinda bad but today I was all like, "Good. Fuck you, nice innocent stranger guy. Go spread the love."

I skipped out on a meeting this afternoon so that I could take a walk through downtown, get some fresh air and blow off some steam. I stomped down the busy sidewalk with my fists clenched at my sides, grumbling internally about the fact that we have a president who thinks it's funny to joke about lowering the price of gas. On top of that, there's a big ghetto ass gap where the shitty vinyl floor in our bathroom meets the hardwood at the door because Husband laid it down wrong in our stupid house that we couldn't flip because the goddamn market tanked! Husband is Buddhist and from a third world country so he was all like, "We can live with this."

Stupid zen calm man who knows what true poverty looks like!



I was actually having a nice walk. The sky was overcast but the air was warm. I got to yell "Fuck You!" at some asshole in an SUV who honked his horn at an old woman in the crosswalk. I stopped and pretended to shake a rock out of my shoe and he had to wait through another light. A homeless man on the corner pointed at the driver of the SUV and laughed, Ha! Ha!, like the kid from the Simpsons.

That made me feel better.

I stopped at Peet's to get a green tea. A baby in a stroller took his pacifier out of his mouth, sneezed then put his pacifier back. "You're ruining my bad mood," I told him. He took his pacifier out and grinned with his four teeth.

I walked slowly back to my building sipping my green tea frappathingie and saw Innocent Stranger Guy from this morning. He was sitting by a fountain eating a sandwich half-wrapped in tinfoil. He sat with his knees together with an orange holding down a wrinkled brown paper bag in his lap. He had long eyelashes and smooth cheeks and lots of shiny dark hair that parted in the breeze. He wore tan socks and the knobs of his ankles protruded over the sides of his big brown shoes.

I stopped in front of him. He gazed up at me, chewing. I pointed at his foot.

"Tie your shoe, sweetheart," I said.

He swallowed and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. "I will," he said, smiling. "Thank you very much."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Well, shit...

Ok. Yeah. I see what you did there. I get it. Hard-hitting political satire. Great. What I want to know is, what took you so long?

For 8 years we've had to put up with a bitchass media that stood around pulling its pud and wringing its hands while the Bush administration gambooled and pissed all over, well, pretty much everything.

Man, back in the day, the Washington Post would've been all like, "Wait, what? The president just flipped our civil liberties the bird? That's a bitch slappin'. And the Vice President is engaged in war profiteering? Whaaa? That's a fist fuckin' and a dismantling of the entire administration! Fuck you. Get on your crooked asses on that helicopter and get the fuck out the White House. "

But noooo. The media waited until dude is 6 months lame duck to finally be all like, "Bush sucks and Cheney's a scaly, festering, hunched and shuffling thing that crawled out of Lucifer's ass. Look at all the bad shit they did."

Fuck that. Punkass bitches.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

USA! USA! We're #1!

Read Daniel Henninger's opinion piece over at WSJ about WTF is going on with the WTC project and you'll find "the greatest political and bureaucratic fiasco in the history of the world". And by greatest political fiasco in the history of the world, he means the election of George Jr.

Seven years after the destruction of the World Trade Center Towers we have this,

a $15, 000,000,000 motherfucking hole in the ground to show for all that sound and fury and red, white and blue bullshit. Henninger writes, "Remember the line about how if we don't rebuild the towers "the terrorists will win"? The terrorists will be dead of old age before this project is finished."

Oh, snap.

Seven years.

Metaphor throws up its hands and is all like, "My work is done here." Irony is all like, "I'm right behind you, dude." Obvious is all like, "These muthafuckkas don't know they ass from a hole in the ground."

And by ass, I mean George Jr. And by $15, 000,000,000 hole in the ground, I mean George Jr.'s administration.

That's 15 billion, monkies. How many schools and community clinics could that fund? On the other hand, $15, 000,000,000 is only 4.3 weeks of war costs.

China's all like, "We got ya covered. "