So, the GOP stripped $870,000,000 of disaster preparedness funds from the stimulus bill because all that bio-terrorism/FEMA money that the States got after the panic of 9/11 and never used--I'm looking at you, Katrina-ravaged Louisiana--would be better spent on whatever. Even after Mount Redoubt erupted, nobody cared because it's in Alaska (yeah, Sarah Palin, about that bid for the White House in 2012...).
Anyway, the Dems tart up the "swine" flu and are all like, "We're all gonna die because the Republicans!!" Arlen Spectre is all like, "There's no way I'm gonna win the primary. *flip* We're all gonna die because of the Republicans!!" The Republicans are all like, "Shit. Obama's 100th day is coming up. Things went pretty well and some stuff got done. We need to distract everyone. We're all gonna die!!"
President Obama is all like, "Chrysler will file for bankruptcy and torture is un-American"
Then WHO is all like, "You know, it's kinda uncool to the pigs if we call it swine flu. And did we say 200 confirmed dead from the flu in Mexico? We really meant nine."
And then I go, "Zombie bunkers. Mark my words."