tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278260032024-02-25T08:34:22.564-08:00Spock JonesA place for erotic Star Trek fan fiction and the quixotic ramblings of a slightly delusional fangirl. If you are under 18, go away. All others, read, enjoy, comment.
Peace and hair grease.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger261125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-54247404205297965802022-07-31T15:06:00.006-07:002022-07-31T15:06:37.263-07:00RIP, My Queen<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3cGkM6VM2EtOjT_RoMvouz106qHOz5sweQdMLVnVZTdn5A0UpRAsYf8QRZQrBLjBxUYnkVBrAAaI0Se8_IuHNMT0zTaFjH0N8OZ4hAyIEFMEfYH75x7JHSzF9fqhh5Wp3wnNuTKw4LDKY-gfOkewiRHoLmoBe0KrDIg3LCRwO_cbW1mu7I8/s236/62010D07-64D4-4EF5-BF1D-A37A68E9F7CD.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="177" data-original-width="236" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs3cGkM6VM2EtOjT_RoMvouz106qHOz5sweQdMLVnVZTdn5A0UpRAsYf8QRZQrBLjBxUYnkVBrAAaI0Se8_IuHNMT0zTaFjH0N8OZ4hAyIEFMEfYH75x7JHSzF9fqhh5Wp3wnNuTKw4LDKY-gfOkewiRHoLmoBe0KrDIg3LCRwO_cbW1mu7I8/w400-h300/62010D07-64D4-4EF5-BF1D-A37A68E9F7CD.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br /> Together, now.<p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-34745610314226150202022-07-31T14:42:00.003-07:002022-07-31T14:49:18.878-07:00The Widow, The Magician, and the Big, Blue Box — A Doctor Who Series, Part II<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;"></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7gwM4DjShGz5jNI8vl3u5Rq_4IN7gKI-EW9hNvqrg36ILXUS8ZHWShyrjr5F0Fz6f4bPOemwihxAbbVGmh-5PcYnr1pw_zKEvcoAve2v9QVHFZcrvyDWMnZ0FvaMVSVtvU74hmbNd9VV3O-RgItS6D7rMwrGkQHx0pYbdTbyykWYilPnXmvE/s720/C235C2EB-265F-49B8-999D-D3DE4F4A0F3C.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="470" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7gwM4DjShGz5jNI8vl3u5Rq_4IN7gKI-EW9hNvqrg36ILXUS8ZHWShyrjr5F0Fz6f4bPOemwihxAbbVGmh-5PcYnr1pw_zKEvcoAve2v9QVHFZcrvyDWMnZ0FvaMVSVtvU74hmbNd9VV3O-RgItS6D7rMwrGkQHx0pYbdTbyykWYilPnXmvE/w261-h400/C235C2EB-265F-49B8-999D-D3DE4F4A0F3C.jpeg" width="261" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><p></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>~~Part II</b></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I <span style="font-size: medium;">was awake a minute before my alarm woke me to let my elderly dog, Motley into the back garden. I stretched and winced at my aching muscles. My pussy was sore and my nipples were tender. I could still smell John Smith in my sheets and on my skin. I buried my face in the pillows and inhaled deeply. The scent brought back the sounds he made and the expression on his face when he came. I moaned softly at the memory of his mouth on my clit and the long, almost unbearably exquisite orgasm he gave me. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">He</span>, I thought. <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Him</span>. The Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I liked John Smith — a lot — but it was the Doctor I was thinking of when I was fucking John. In fact, my brain no longer let me think of him as John Smith in <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">any</span> context anymore. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I giggle-shrieked into my pillow like a teenager, blushing, even though I was alone.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh my God,” I yelled into my pillow. I took the pillow off my face. “What have I <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">done</span>,” I asked my empty room. I covered my face with my hands and laughed.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard a low <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">woof. </span>I rolled over to the side of the bed and looked over the edge. Motley stared up at me from beneath his bushy, old man brows. I pulled a funny face at him. He frowned disapprovingly and waddled out the bedroom door. I disentangled myself from my fragrant sheets and grabbed the bathrobe that the Doctor had laid neatly on the settee at the foot of my bed. I gave it a sniff and was disappointed that it smelled faintly of laundry detergent and not of him. I shrugged it on and trotted down the stairs. Motley waited grumpily by the sliding glass door that led to the back garden. I knelt and ruffled his ears, giving him a kiss between the eyes. He protested, grunting and chuffing. Motley was against cuddling.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You are adorable, you daft old man,” I said. “How cute would you be wearing a bow tie? Let’s get you one on our walk today, yeah?” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The morning was cool, overcast and breezy, signaling the end of the heatwave, the wind flinging droplets of water from the leaves of my beech trees. Motley plodded across the lawn towards my studio, stopping halfway to cock his head toward John’s house. I stepped quickly back inside and listened intently at the open door. I heard the low contralto of a woman’s voice but I couldn’t make out any words. I heard the door of the Doctor’s studio close. I stepped back further into the gloom of my kitchen so I wouldn’t be seen if they happened to glance my way. I couldn’t hear anything over the sound of the wind rattling the trees. I watched Motley but he had gone on sniffing the grass, searching for the perfect place to relieve himself. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I ran upstairs to the room that would be Courtney’s. Two of the windows met in a corner, one overlooking the lane in front of my house and the other the front door and front garden of the Doctor’s house. I got there just in time to see him and a woman I assumed was his ex-wife walking down the drive to an Audi parked by their gate. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I peered through the sheer curtains without opening them. The Doctor was wearing a long-sleeved, black, high-neck tee, slim black jeans and dark blue trainers with white soles. He was freshly shaved and his hair combed back, somehow making the casual outfit look as formal as a dinner suit. He put on a pair of sunglasses and pushed them up his nose with his long middle finger. I felt a flare of heat at the memory of where that finger had been just a few hours ago. I switched my attention to his ex-wife. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">If the Doctor was the physical opposite to Danny, then River Song was the physical opposite to me. Her honey-colored hair curled in the way that I had coveted since I was a girl. She was lushly curvaceous, like a 1950s pin-up model. She had a generous mouth, her lips painted the exact shade of red that would make me look dead washed out. She was wearing a pair of brown leather leggings tucked into knee boots, a white tee and she carried a thick black jumper draped over one muscular arm.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I bet she looks amazing naked,” I murmured.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As they walked to their car, I saw with dismay the Doctor’s hand resting lightly on the small of her back. He opened the passenger door, gripping her hand as she sat, waiting until she was settled before closing the door. It looked like a ritual born of years of habit but still absently affectionate. He came around the back of the car with long-legged strides, looking lean and cool as Steve McQueen in the dark sunglasses. He glanced up. I froze. He made no indication that he saw me. I watched them drive away in the sleek Audi, the two of them invisible behind darkly tinted windows. I looked back at their house. There was no moving lorry or workmen’s van on the street or in their drive. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned away, telling myself to calm down. There were a thousand reasons for the Doctor and River Song to leave together. It didn’t mean that they were <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">together</span>. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Just chill, Oswald,” I said. “We already negotiated this. Cordial distance. Don’t make it weird. Act like an adult.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard my phone ping from my bedroom. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I spun away from the window and sprinted down the hall. I snatched up my phone and peered breathlessly at the screen, my heart racing. It was a text from Rory on our family chat.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Oswin’s first selfie!</span> </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Attached was a blurry closeup of an open, purple-stained mouth with four tiny teeth on the bottom and a smashed blueberry stuck to the chin. I felt a rush of love and sadness and longing that was mostly missing my family and a bit about the Doctor. I guiltily sent back a string of non-sensical happy emojis. I saved the photo and sent it to the printer in my studio. I sat on the edge of my bed and sighed. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Action this day, Oswald,” I said. “Action this day.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stripped the bed and put everything into the wash. I rushed down to the kitchen and emptied the dishwasher, washed the wine glasses and put the wine bottles under some cardboard in the recycling, like I was hiding evidence of a crime. I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie, stuffed my feet into my Wellies and snapped Motley’s leash to his collar. As I walked out of my front gate, I tried not to look at the Doctor’s house.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When Motley and I returned, I left my Wellies at the door and walked straight through the house to go to my studio. Cheema was bringing up folded sheets from the laundry. She looked me over, her eyes lingering on my face. I braced myself.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My granny make Clara Oswald’s <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">favorite</span> cake,” she said. “I’ll bring some back to your shack with your cuppa.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Thanks, Cheema,” I said. “And please thank Granny for me.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That cake help you think of something better to write.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I nodded, swallowing past a lump in my throat.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She smiled kindly. “No trouble.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I walked down the flagstone path to my studio. I saw my still-wet running shoes and socks by the tiny sink in my writing studio. I’d forgotten about them. Was it only just the night before? I draped my socks on the sink and placed my shoes upside down on the windowsill to dry. I plugged in my phone charger and turned on my tablet. I picked up my phone again, put it on silent and laid it facedown in my desk drawer. I stared at the blank white screen of my tablet, the blue line of the curser blinking patiently. Cheema came in with a tray, Motley on her heels.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Coffee go <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">better</span> with Granny’s cake,” she said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Fair enough,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She broke a piece off one of the slices and fed it to Motley. “This cake got rum and that’s okay for you, old dog. You go to sleep and <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">no</span> interrupting Clara Oswald,” she said, shaking a finger at him. She bent, straightened his new bow tie and tickled his chin. She turned and smiled at me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I made rice. You feel better,” she said. Rice could mean anything from plain, steamed white rice, to an elaborate dish with twenty ingredients. It was Cheema’s cure-all. And it always worked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re the best, Cheema,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She stopped at the door and gave her hips a little wiggle. “Tell me something I don’t already <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">know</span>,” she said and strutted back to the house.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Motley, I think I’m going to create a new detective,” I said. “What do you think about the name, Malcolm Tucker?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley stared at me with his head cocked, seeming to consider the question.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I always thought that Malcolm was a name fit for a king. Tucker is a working man’s name. They sound good together.” I nodded. “Malcom Tucker. It’s a hero’s name. He’s tall and uncommonly intelligent. With nice hands.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley gave a reluctant half-wag of his tail as if to say, “I’ll allow it.” He walked over to his bed in the corner, turned in a circle and laid down, staring at me with his head on his paws.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned to my tablet and started typing.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> Malcolm Tucker strode down the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets…</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stood and stretched and was surprised to see that it was dark outside. It was past midnight. I’d been writing for almost twelve hours. I was already in love with Malcolm Tucker and could write about him forever, but knew I needed to call it a night. I took my phone out of the drawer and looked at the screen.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">There was a text from the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I unlocked the screen and opened the text. It was time-stamped only an hour before. I blinked. It was an empty text bubble. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What the fuck was I supposed to do with that? </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I debated responding with a question mark or something like goodbye or good night but decided against it.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ugh,” I groaned. I looked at Motley. “Should I call? The Doctor said that he liked late-night phone calls.” My thumb hovered over the tiny phone icon by his name. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley got up and walked to the door. He stopped and looked back at me. I sighed and slumped my shoulders. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re right,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I frowned, irritated. That empty text bubble could mean anything. Was he interrupted in the act of texting? Was a pocket text? It might be a sign that I meant nothing to him— just a man in a long marriage, away from his wife, lonely, maybe a little bored — no matter how magical it might’ve seemed to me. I’d watched the Doctor leave with River that morning. No workmen had come to his house and no moving lorry had come to get their things. I was a distraction or — </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Grow up, Oswald,” I said. “It’s probably not what you think. It’s only been a few hours. He doesn’t owe you anything. Get some rest. Call him tomorrow when you have a clear head.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*****</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I lay in my bed, resting but unable to sleep. I glanced at my clock. It read 3:00am. I sighed. I didn’t really mind being awake. Some of my best writing ideas came to me during this sort of suspended animation, not-sleep state. I tried to think about Malcom Tucker. He had a backstory that I hadn’t written yet. I generally liked my protagonist’s story and physical appearance to reveal themselves through their actions or other characters’ telling. So far, he was tall, lean but not muscular, square jawed, Scottish, skittish about intimate relationships. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That hair. And those fucking eyelashes that were going to be the death of me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">So, yes. Malcolm was the Doctor, with a few adjustments.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“God damn it, Doctor,” I whispered.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I imagined that I could feel him. I closed my eyes and fancied that I could send the memory of us together to him. I hoped he felt it and I hoped that it was at an extremely inopportune moment for him. Then I smiled sadly to myself. I was fine. I’d lived through a hell of a lot worse than some quasi-one-night-stand, probably Very Bad Idea. I should be glad to have dodged a silly <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">situationship</span>. I decided to keep it as a bittersweet memory, now part of my secret history. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I had broken down and watched a YouTube clip of one of the Doctor’s shows. He was giving an impassioned monologue in a room with rubber monsters. He was very good. I stopped watching because he was also very beautiful. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I left his contact information in my phone, telling myself that it was just a point of interest, that bit of my secret history. I still didn’t know how to feel about him, but I would channel whatever that was into my writing. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor would be my muse. It was not like he was a real person who actually <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">existed</span>.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">On a Sunday afternoon five days on, I relaxed on my sofa, getting drunk on mimosas, half-watching a shitty movie on the telly. It was my birthday, something I had never really celebrated since my sixteenth, because it was the same day my mother died. My phone pinged several times since early morning and I held off responding to all the family and friends’ well-wishing. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I finally scrolled through to answer texts, I saw that the last text was from the Doctor. My entire body seized for a split second. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. I opened the text.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I’m going to call you. Fair enough if you don’t answer. I’m going to leave a message. Then I’ll fuck off.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I checked and there was a voicemail notification from him. It was one minute and thirty-two seconds long.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I set my phone down and poured myself another drink. I picked up my phone and stared at it for a long moment. Over the last five days, there had been no sign of the Doctor nor River Song at the house next door. No movers, no workmen. Just an empty house waiting for the owners to return. Cheema had not volunteered any new information from Gisela and I had pounded out my angst on my tablet keyboard, writing thousands of words about Malcolm Tucker.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I clicked on the Doctor’s voicemail message.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Hello, Clara.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I had to pause the message because the warm, Scottish way he rolled the “r” in my name nearly undid me. I forced my self to breathe again. I resumed the message.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I saw you at the window. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I clicked the message off again, cringing. <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">He thinks I’m a nutter stalker,</span> I thought. I prepared myself to be told off. I resumed the voicemail.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I’m sorry. River was the last person I expected that morning. I was just going to call you and ask you over for breakfast when she turned up. She wasn’t due in for two more days. She wanted to talk. I thought I owed us that, after all the years. But whole time she talked, I was distracted by the smell you on my skin. Made it very difficult to hear what she was saying. Anyway, while she was talking, our daughter called. Our grandson was in hospital with a fever. There no time to think. We had to go. He’s fine, just an intestinal thing, but he was in for three days and it was horrible and stressful I didn’t have a moment alone. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">To her credit, River was amazing the whole time — as she always is in a crisis. After Carter was discharged, we went to Jenny’s with her because her partner is a bit useless… and Jen needed both of her parents. It was tense for a few hours, once the distraction of the hospital was gone. River and I sort of circled each other… talked a bit about reconciling. I tried, because Jenny asked. Part of me wanted it to work. It just … didn’t. Please believe me when I say that my decision had nothing to do with you. It had already been made months ago. Like I said, I felt like I owed her the attempt. When I told River I wanted to stay divorced, she did what she does when she’s hurt. She turned inward and put on a brave face. Which — as is her goal when she does this — made me feel guilty. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">There’s a part of River that hates me. I’m not sure she’s even aware of it. And it manifests in behavior that is … I don’t know … passive-aggressive, perhaps? For example, River and I exchanged these sort of grandparents’ gifts. I had a gold locket made for her when Carter was born. I put in a picture of Jenny as a baby on one half and Carter on the other. It’s astonishing how much they look alike and how much they look like River. Anyway, River said, “I love it. Now I really feel like the Old Gran.” The ‘Old Gran’ was her family’s code name for her vicious crone of a grandmother, who the family placed in a care home and only visit at Christmas. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">The gift River gave me was a wooden picture frame stained the exact blue of my box. It’s quite beautiful in the way plain, well-made, expensive things are. When she gave it to me, she cheerfully said, “It’s empty because now you can put whoever you want inside.” River always knew where to stick the knife.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Also, when I finally had a moment alone, my phone disappeared. I never kept my passcodes secret from River but I changed the one on my phone after … you. I wasted a whole day wanting to believe that I was the one who had misplaced my phone. We tore the place apart looking for it and River “found” it this morning. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I’m hearing myself tell you that and it sounds like nothing but it’s the cap on many years of that type of thing from her. A death of a thousand cuts. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">That said, I’m no innocent bystander in the demise of my marriage. If you’ll let me, I’ll tell you about all the promises I didn’t keep.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">There was a long pause and I could hear him breathing.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">It wasn’t until my phone disappeared that I realized how much time had passed. I’m not asking you for anything and I’m not making excuses. I’m sorry to have involved you in my currently fucked up life. Anyway. I won’t keep you. Take good care. I’m in my loft now. River is still at Jenny’s. I’ll give you a heads up when she’s going back to the house. Once she’s cleared off, I’ll be back to pick through what’s left.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">And please, the invitation to call me anytime still stands. Anytime.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I listened to his message again, closing my eyes so I could both hear and <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">feel</span> the sound of his voice. A text interrupted. I looked. It was the Doctor. He must have set an alert to notify him when I listened to his voicemail.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I made some drawings of you to keep me company.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My thumb hovered over my phone, then three dots floated in a text bubble. He was typing. I waited.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I know I said I’d fuck off but I don’t think I will. I sometimes have random thoughts that I’d like to share with you. You don’t have to respond. Or you can call me a bastard and block me. I assure you I’m not some nutter stalker. If you tell me to stop, I will. I really hope you don’t.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The three dots appeared again.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I can still feel you, Clara.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">There was an attachment. It was a sketch of me from the waist up, my eyes heavy-lidded, lips parted, my hair falling over my shoulders in messy waves.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stared at the picture. Lines were both hazy and sharp, like looking through a soft focused lens. From the angle, it was me as I straddled his face. I covered my mouth with a slightly trembling hand. It was almost unfair. I was helpless against him.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I sent him a text.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Time. Space. I think we both need it.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I thought for a moment then sent another text.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I’m not saying no. I’m not playing games. I’m not angry. No hard feelings, remember? Just…deep breath.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I put my phone in a locked drawer for the rest of the weekend. I would let him work it out.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I picked up my phone the following evening, he had sent me a stylized line drawing of the Doctor dancing a jig on the moon, next to his blue box.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Over the next couple of days, he sent random texts with silly drawings, late night musings and wild guesses about my pseudonym. I also got voicemail, some were just a simple <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">good morning</span> or <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">goodnight</span>. Others were rambling, hilarious, one-sided conversations. I loved the voicemails just for the sound of his voice. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">His texts usually had a playful sexual undertone but they started to get more decidedly erotic as time went on. One night, my phone pinged at 2:00am. It was a text from the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Hello, Clara. I’m lying in bed now. I’m exhausted in the extreme but too tired to sleep, if that makes sense. At the risk is sounding like a pervert, what I need is a wank. That’ll put me right to sleep. Problem is, I haven’t masturbated with any regularity since my very early twenties. I’m out of practice! I should work on that, seeing as it’s all I’ve got… currently.</span> </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Fortunately, I have a rich imagination. And pictures that I’ve drawn of you.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I squealed and dropped my phone. I picked it up. It was probably a huge mistake to finally respond because of an overtly sexual text but I couldn’t resist. Besides, I’d tortured him long enough. I typed:</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Go on… </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Floating dots popped up immediately.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Ah. There you are.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I typed:</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">And …</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Can I call you?</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Next time. You were saying something about needing a wank…</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="font-size: medium; white-space: pre;"> </span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He sent a laughing emoji.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Ok, Clara. I guess I can … manage with one hand. Though, I usually don’t, if you know what I mean. It’d really, really … help if I could hear your voice</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Better still, to see your face.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Next time, Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Fair enough. Ok. I’m in my bed. I can hear the rain. The duvet is kicked down to my feet. Just wearing boxer briefs. I’ve got my cock out. I haven’t touched it yet.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> Are you still there, Clara?</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Yes.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I’m laughing at myself because I’m alone in a dark room with my phone in one hand and my cock in the other.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">My very, VERY hard cock</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I wish I knew what you’re doing right now, Clara. What you’re wearing. I’ve always found it more compelling to imagine a naked body under clothing than to actually see it.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I had plans for you when next we met, darling. Sweet, tender, beautiful plans.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">But right now, me with my hard cock in my hand, what I’m imagining is far from tender. Right now, the way I’m feeling. I just want to fuck you. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Face down on the floor or against the wall or bent over the sofa</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Hard and fast</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">The thought of just taking you</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I covered my face with a hand. This man knew how to push my buttons. I looked at my phone because more than a minute has passed. The three dots appeared at last.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Sorry. I had to stop or I was going to come before I wanted to. I’ve never done this before. I’m an old man!</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I smile and type.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">You’re not old.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Glad you’re still there.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Where else would I be, Doctor?</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Clara, I’m going to put my phone down now because I’ll need both hands for what comes next. But first, I’m going to tell you how I’m going to get there, yeah? I’m going to remember you in that little dress. Your bare legs. How I could see your nipples through your dress when we were eating. First soft, then hard. I wanted to suck them, run my tongue all over them, perhaps pinch them—if you like.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">And I think you might like it if I did that, you naughty, naughty girl. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">My tongue in your sweet mouth. The heat of your body. You’re extremely warm for such a wee person. Anyone ever tell you that? </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">The feel of your hair in my hands when I kissed you. Your hairless pussy. Now, that was a surprise. A VERY lovely surprise.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Shall I go on, Clara?</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I couldn’t reply because my head was spinning and my hands were shaking. The three dots appear. Then nothing. I typed.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Tell me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I want to kneel in front of you, lift that maddening little dress up to your waist, pull your pants down to your ankles and eat your pussy until your knees are weak. Then I’ll carry you to my bed, spread your legs wide and lick your clit. I want to make you come and watch it happen. I want to see your face and hear the sound you make when I thrust my cock into you. And I want you to whisper in my ear again while I’m fucking you. All all the things you want me to do to you.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I need to put the phone down now, darling. Don’t go anywhere.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I covered my mouth with a hand, my heart pounding. It was 2:00am and the Doctor is stroking himself, thinking about <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">me</span>.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Five minutes went by. Then ten. I raised my brows. I picked up the pencil and pad I kept on my night table and made a note about Malcolm Tucker. I put the pad down and laid back on my pillows. Once again, I imagined that I could feel the Doctor. That we are somehow magically connected. My clit throbbed and my pussy contracted, hard. I gasped. I knew down to my bones that it was the Doctor. That he came in that same instant, my name on his lips. When I recovered, I saw the text from the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Now I know how I really feel. Currently, as useless and weak as a wet paper bag. But can I call you? Whenever you say. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I thought for a moment. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Tomorrow? FaceTime? 6pm? </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;"> ***</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He texted a string of random emojis, the theme of which was very happy — even with a couple of accidental poos and vomit faces<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">.</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I spent the next day writing Malcolm Tucker, giving myself little time to think about my upcoming call with the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My previous novels were the violent, testosterone-laden, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">cherchez la femme</span>, noir detective archetype. I could write them in my sleep. They received consistently good reviews, won a few awards and usually remained in the top three or five bestsellers for my genre for the year when I released a book. I had even experienced a bit of a resurgence during lockdown. My Malcolm Tucker story didn’t have a treacherous damsel in distress, nor clear lines drawn between the good guys and the bad guys. It was darker, more violent and had a lot more sexual content. It also had a generous dose of magical realism, which was a new thing for me. Malcolm Tucker was a DSU at the Met who publicly worked for the Department of Professional Standards, but who actually worked for an even more secret, yet unnamed department. When people asked who watches the watchers, the answer was Malcom Tucker. He came and went as he pleased. Tucker is incorruptible but he isn’t always honest. There were things about himself that he had to hide. I wasn’t sure yet what those things were, but I was excited for Malcolm to show me. He’s breaking in a new partner, a smart, diligent, compulsively honest young woman, who may or may not be a true psychic, and who looks like Sophie Okonedo in my head. The sexual tension between them is off the charts and I plan to string along the “will they or won’t they” for at least three books.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">At at exactly six o’clock that evening, my phone pinged. I took a deep breath and answered on my tablet. The Doctor’s face appeared on the screen. He was frowning, his face off-centered and too close to the camera. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hang on. Where’s the — oh. There you are.” His face brightened and he smiled. He sat back in his chair. He was wearing a dark grey tee with black graphics. It was the cover art for Danny’s final album. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello, Doctor,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard a sound and he glanced over his shoulder. “My friend Martha’s here dropping off her dog for me to watch over the holiday weekend.” He turned his head again. “Like I’m her lonely old dad and need the company,” he said loudly. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard whispering and the Doctor’s face disappeared, the image on the phone spinning. I heard more hissing whispers and then a smiling, pretty face filled the screen.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello,” she singsonged. She looked away and there were more whispers. Her face came back, but at a different angle, like she switched hands to keep the phone from the Doctor. “You must be Clara,” she said. “He tells me all of his secrets. I have to <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">beat</span> them out of him, mind you, but I’m a physician so we sort of have doctor/patient privilege.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“For fuck’s sake,” said the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m Martha. John is my best mate. If you hurt him, I’ll kill you,” she said, smiling brightly.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The phone tilted again. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Give me the phone, you shit!”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor’s face appeared again. “Sorry. She was just leaving,” he grumbled.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A dimpled cheek appeared and a pair of lips gave him several loud kisses on his face, deliberately smearing purple lipstick. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Get off,” the Doctor said, smiling and frowning at the same time.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Bye, grandad!” Martha yelled.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Fuck the fuck off,” the Doctor yelled back.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sorry,” he said again. “She doesn’t believe me when I tell her that I’m fine. She’s a pain in my ass but it’s nice to be looked after, isn’t it?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“She sounds like a good friend,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We were quiet for a long moment, gazing at each other. I grinned and winked. The Doctor laughed and I made a mental note of how his nose wrinkled adorably.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“So… that was sexting,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m pretty sure that was sexting,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It was so fucking <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">hot,” </span>he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Very.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Might need to add that to the rotation.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Already on the list.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh.” The Doctor raised his brows. “There’s a list?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“May I see it?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Maybe.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He leaned forward, his face pained. “I’m sorry, Clara. I had sex with you, drove off with my ex-wife the next morning, then disappeared for five days.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Your grandson was ill. Your daughter needed you. An apology is not necessary.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You deserved better.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Doctor, at that point, you’d only known me for about ten hours. I had no expectations beyond that night. Well, I had <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">hopes…”</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You must’ve thought I was a sleekit bastard.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I shrugged. “I had a bit of a wobbly moment, I’ll admit. But I got over myself. And, as it turns out, a bit of angst was the cure to my writer’s block.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ll make it up to you.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes, you will.” I laughed. “But you’re an idiot if you believe that River didn’t know you had sex with another woman the <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">instant</span> she saw you. A shower and a high-necked shirt was hiding fuck all.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I figured that out when my phone went missing. And I wasn’t hiding anything. I figured it wouldn’t do to turn up at the hospital covered in love bites like a horny teenager,” he said, giving me a stern look.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What kind of face is that? You gave as good as you got,” I said. “My last bruise only just faded.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are you up for another round?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I squinted my eyes and tilted my head back. “Only if you <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">don’t</span> wear a tee with my dead husband’s last album cover on it,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Fucking</span> hell,” the Doctor said, looking down at himself. “I’m sorry, Clara. Shit.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The phone screen shook then showed a high ceiling crisscrossed with massive concrete beams and huge industrial pipes. After a moment, the Doctor came back into view. He was shirtless, his hair mussed. I started laughing.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“If I were you, I’d call me a cunt and tell me to piss off,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh my God.” I snorted and coughed, giggling and wiping away tears of laughter. “You should see your face.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Christ.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You look like an angry baby,” I chuckled.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Now I’m freezing,” he said. “Maybe you know someone who can come keep me warm.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Do you like horror movies?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Uh, I do but I am a huge jessie.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Jessie?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That’s Scottish for pussy. I hide my face and scream like a girl. Why?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Love a scary movie. There’s one my daughter told me about but it’s no fun watching by myself.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yeah.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Well,” he mused. “I’ve got a massive telly that Martha forced me to buy so she can come over, shout at the football and drink all of my lager.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Do you have Netflix?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I have every streaming service on the planet. I’m pretty sure I’ve got that. Have to ask Martha.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That horror movie is on Netflix and my TV is small, so…”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hang on a minute. You’re trying to finagle an invite to mine in order to use me for my giant…telly?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’ve seen through my cunning ruse, you clever boy.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Get over here now, Clara Oswald.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">xxxxx</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor lived in a hulking, Victorian-era brick warehouse in Brixton Hill. It was four stories, with a plain facade and a flat roof. After texting that I had arrived, I drove into the vast, ground floor garage and parked next to the Doctor’s Audi. There was a low-slung, matte black motorbike parked on the other side, crouched in the darkness, kinetic and lethal-looking, like a wasp. There four lifts in the garage and I saw only four ornate metal letterboxes outside the garage entrance.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I lifted Motley out and walked across the polished brick floor to a lift of a size and age that might’ve serviced a dinosaur. Despite it’s ancient appearance, it had an access keypad that looked like something out of a science fiction film. There was a discreet metal plaque above the keypad that read, “Attention: Video Surveillance.” I entered the passcode the Doctor sent me and followed the computer’s polite instructions.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara. Oswald. Retinal scan. Profile. Saved,” the computer intoned. “Welcome. Clara. Oswald.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A horizontal, wrought iron accordion gate rattled open like an ancient mouth. Motley sniffed the air and let out a small whine. I picked him up and stepped into the scarred teak-lined lift. There were only two old-fashioned push buttons, one with an arrow pointing up and the other with the arrow pointing down. There was a video surveillance sign inside the elevator as well. I pushed the “up” button and the accordion gate closed. Inner doors made of iron slid closed with a heavy thud and the lift rose smoothly. Even after one hundred and fifty years, the aroma of the teak was still faintly present. The lift stopped, bounced gently twice and the inner doors opened.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara. Oswald,” the computer announced as the accordion gate opened. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A futuristic-looking robot vacuum whirred swiftly across the floor and seemed to hover accusingly at my feet. It was topped with a clear dome that showed it’s internal workings and blinking lights.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A fat dog with a white body, a brown head and short, turned-in legs peered up at me. I stepped out and set Motley on the wood floor. They sniffed each other’s butts, grumbling and chuffing. Finally satisfied, they turned together and waddled away, the vacuum zigzagging fussily behind them. I didn’t see or hear the Doctor so I followed the dogs.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The loft was impossibly huge, taking up the entire fourth floor. The ceiling was at least twenty-five feet high. There was a brick fireplace large enough to roast an ox set in a wall of paned, arched windows. The windows were framed in the same heavy, dark teak as the lift. Stained glass rondels were set at intervals in the wall of windows. Above the fireplace was a curved marble banner that had <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Athanasios</span> <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Kasterborus Olive Oil, Est. 1878</span> chiseled across it. Shelves filled with leather-bound books, scrolls, and odd-looking artifacts lined one wall above an iron catwalk raised about twelve feet off the floor. Two over-stuffed leather armchairs were set at the end of the catwalk closest to the wall of windows, a low table placed between them. It was the perfect place to sit and read a book on a cold, rainy day. Under the catwalk were what might’ve originally been offices, enclosed with the same paned glass and heavy wood as the wall of windows, the half-doors of which were ornately carved teak. In one, I could see at least three guitars on stands, amps, an electric piano, recording equipment and a table piled with sketch books and art supplies. In another, tools were neatly hung on pegboard. Beakers, tubing, electronics and machinery in various stages of build or repair lay on a work table. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Folding French doors next to the fireplace opened to a terrace. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As I followed after the dogs, I both felt and heard a whisper tickle across the back of my neck and into my ear.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">…Claraaahhh…ssssible…</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned around and saw in the furthest corner under the catwalk, a big, blue, old-time police box. The small lamp at the top seemed to briefly flare with golden light.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Doctor?” I called out.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Here,” answered the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I rounded a corner from the lift foyer. Four massive concrete columns divided the living space into sections. The column closest to the kitchen created space for a dining area. The next one had an enormous leather sofa sectional, a low coffee table and a wafer thin television the size of a movie theater screen. Further down was a treadmill and a battered martial arts practice dummy on a pedestal, with padded half-gloves hung around it’s neck. Beyond the last column was another glass-enclosed space with a king bed set on a raised platform inside. Heavy, dark red curtains hung from a railing encircling the bed. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> The Doctor was in his kitchen retrieving a takeaway carton from a microwave oven. It smelled strongly of garlic and chili oil.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Mmm. That smells good,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ve had no time to kit out the kitchen or even buy food,” said the Doctor. “So it’s day-old takeaway, if you’ve a mind.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s fine. Bit late for me to be eating, anyway.” I lifted the shopping bag I held. “I do have five tallboys in a torn box. I drank one yesterday.” I set the bag on the countertop. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor peered into the bag. “Perfect. Reminds me of when I was in school. Lager and dodgy noodles. Oh, hello, Motley. Very cool bow tie.” He pointed to the other fat dog. “That smashed-faced monstrosity is Martha’s dog, Trevor. You geezers go wait for Godot out on the terrace.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Trevor huffed. Motley grunted. They slowly walked to the terrace like the two oldest best mates in the world. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor looked down at me. “Hi,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">His eyes roamed my face. “Want to tell me about it?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I think so,” I said, taking off my jacket.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He took my coat and draped it over the back of a chair. I was wearing a soft knit, long-sleeved mini dress that was slightly fitted at the waist and had a deep V neck. I wore chunky Chelsea boots and long, black socks pulled up to mid-thigh. I had fixed my hair into a sloppy bun at my nape and lightly glossed my lips with a hint of color. The Doctor glanced down at my thigh-high socks then turned away — but not before I saw a slight flush bloom on his face. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He took two of the beers out of the torn box and put the rest in a refrigerator that had at least four doors and a touchscreen that looked like it belonged in a spaceship cockpit. I watched him flatten the torn box and put it in the recycling bin, busying himself while waiting for me to talk. He was wearing one of those tattered jumpers that cost upwards from fifteen-hundred quid but is made to look like it was discarded by a hobo. I could see his pale skin through the holes. Low-rise jeans hung off his hips and when he faced me again, I struggled to keep my eyes anywhere except the bulge in front. He ran the fingers of both hands through his hair, further mussing the already slightly wild waves. He opened the tallboys and set one on the countertop next to me. He took a long pull from his, his Adam’s apple bobbing in the long, strong column of his neck. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was at least twenty years older than I, but he was the sexiest man I’d ever known.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I didn’t know I was going to…<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">like</span> you,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ah,” he said, nodding. “You’re wondering what we’re doing.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Dating? Friends with benefits?” I shuddered. “The thought of engaging in either of those makes me want to top myself.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I get it,” he said. He walked over and leaned against the counter next to me. “Liking someone is scary, isn’t it? Especially if they like you, too.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We stood side by side, arms folded, not looking at each other, both of us a bit red in the face, like a couple of schoolchildren with crushes. He nudged me gently with his elbow. I looked up at him.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That everything happens for a reason is the biggest lie ever told,” he said. “The universe is violent and chaotic and gives fuck all about us. But sometimes, there’s a perfect confluence of probabilistic causality and the universe hands you a gift.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, brushing his fingertips against my cheek. “Think of the random series of events that led me to glancing down into your garden in that precise moment, and seeing you about to strangle yourself with your sports bra. It boggles the mind. And even then, if you hadn’t removed that one tree, I would not have seen you.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. “Anyway, that’s my long-winded way of saying I’ve learned not to look a gift horse in the mouth.” He dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “I want there to be an <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">us,” </span>he said. “Me and you. But, I think I hear you asking to slow down a bit. I don’t mind doing that.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My father was walking along one day and a gust of wind blew a huge leaf off a tree, right into his face,” I said. “It surprised him and he couldn’t see. He nearly stumbled into traffic but my mum happened along and pulled him to safety at the last moment. That’s how they met. A weird, impossible sequence of events. My mum said it was luck, my father called it a miracle.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“The universe made a gun out of leaves and fired one into your father’s face.” He made a starburst with his hand. “Boom! Now, Clara Oswald exists,” he said. “The impossible girl. We’ll take it slow, yeah? Build a friendship. I already like you so that won’t be hard.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Thank you, Doctor,” I said. I turned my face into his chest. He smelled of wool wash and vetiver grass.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“We’ll do friend stuff. Get to know each other. Have coffees properly, in a cafe. Hang out. Remember just hanging out with your mates? Hungover Sundays eating chips and taking a nap on the sofa,” he said. “There’s all sorts of ways to be intimate without sex.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I pulled away and looked at him with wide eyes. “What? I didn’t exactly mean —,” I started. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was smiling. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh, shut up,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I rested my cheek against his chest. “But, I had forgotten how a good cuddle feels.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He wrapped me in his arms again and held me tightly, his hands stroking circles on my back. I sighed and sank into him, listening to odd rhythm of his heartbeat.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hey,” he said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hmm?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Let’s drink lager, eat noodles and watch your scary movie.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We settled on the sofa with our beers and the container of garlic noodles, two sets of chopsticks poking out of the top. I pulled off my boots and tucked my toes under his thigh.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What’s the name of this movie,” the Doctor asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s called <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Aterrado.”</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">“</span>Terrified?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yep. That’s how scary this movie is. They straight up named it <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Terrified</span>.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You know this commits you to spending at least two nights here protecting me,” he said, his face serious.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Protect you? I’m <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">five-two</span>. And I’m a girl.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re a girl? I hadn’t noticed.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I poked him in the ribs with my foot.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello, Missy,” said the Doctor. “Please turn on the television. Find the movie <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Aterrado</span> or <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Terrified</span>, please.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">There was a tiny click and the massive screen bloomed with white light then went black. The Netflix logo appeared. There were two other account profiles underneath: Martha, and Sarah Jane. The screen went dark again then the movie cued up.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Who is Missy,” I asked, looking around. <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Who is Sarah Jane?</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He pointed to the vacuum. It waited under the television screen, it’s blue light within the clear dome fading and brightening as if it were breathing.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“M.I.S.I. Mobile Intelligence Systems Interface. It’s like Alexa or Siri, but with a more uh, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">advanced</span> AI.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I thought it was a fancy Roomba. I’ve never heard of Missy.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You wouldn’t have heard of it. I built it for my private use. Well, if I feel like working out all of the bugs, I might sell it. I sort of collaborate with an agency to invent things or help make other people’s inventions more useful.” He shrugged. “It’s kind of a hobby.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“So, your side gig is you’re a mad scientist? You’re full of surprises, Doctor.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“There’s a drone function so it can fly, too. It can lift and carry up to forty kilos so don’t let it hear you call it a Roomba. I could send it to the market to pick up my groceries if I wanted to. I may need to make some edits to the code on this one, though. The AI is evolving in a way that’s a bit alarming.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I watched his face as he spoke. His eyes were bright and he waved his hands around, occasionally running his fingers through his gorgeous hair. It was hard to actually listen to what he said because I was preoccupied by the memory of those hands on my body.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“And you’ve got that look on your face again.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What? What look?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“The one where you’re imagining yourself with a knife an fork.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I was listening,” I protested. “You were saying the AI was evolving in a way that was alarming?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“So, there’s a hologram feature, yeah? I programmed a blank, human-shaped form as a space-holder while I was tweaking other systems but the next day, I got this.” He picked up a cylindrical gadget from a charging dock on the coffee table. He held it up for me to see. “This enables or disables automatic functions. It’s an ultrasonic, multi-purpose tool — sort of a universal remote. Anyway, I disabled the hologram because, well. You’ll see.” He pointed the gadget at the MISI module. It emitted a high-pitched, oscillating buzz. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A woman dressed in a dark purple Victorian day jacket and skirt shimmered into view above the module. Her hair was fixed in an elaborate updo with one piece left out in a thick curl over one temple. Her features were severe — cheekbones high and sharp enough to cut paper, aquiline nose, steeply arched brows, a villainous slash of a mouth colored in with dark magenta lipstick. She was coldly beautiful, like a porcelain doll. Her ice blue eyes briefly studied me, flicking down to the Doctor’s hand on my knee. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Everyday, it was adding something new. Shoes, the cameo broach, lipstick — something I never would’ve thought to do. When I was going out a couple of days ago, it turned up with a fancy hat and carried an umbrella. It was intent on coming with me and became indignant when I told it no.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Indignant? She has emotions?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes. No. Sort of. The point of AI is to learn and anticipate. Alexa and Siri can make fairly sophisticated jokes in response to questions. Missy can do that, too and then some. It quickly learned my morning routine and turned on the coffee machine without me asking. If I added extenders and grasping implements, it could probably make my breakfast. As it is, it created an algorithm that anticipated what I wanted to eat, complained about not having access to be able to order online for me, then scolded me for eating too much takeaway. I was thrilled at first, but became concerned at its reaction when I wouldn’t let it leave the loft. It practically threw a tantrum. It engaged the drone function on its own and actually got in my face.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That’s slightly unnerving,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes. Slightly. It’s a good deal that I didn’t give it “arms”. I had already built Fort Knox-level firewalls. Not to keep hackers out but to keep Missy in. It can’t leave the confines of this loft. It’s networked in-house only and cannot access Wi-Fi or other devices brought in from outside. It may as well be locked in a vault.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Can she…hear us?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Well, yes but it’s on standby right now. Frozen. Why?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Because she just gave me a <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">look</span>. Specifically, your hand on my knee.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor frowned.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I didn’t imagine it,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I believe you,” he murmured thoughtfully. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He walked over to the hologram and stared at Missy. Her eyes were fixed on a point over his shoulder — at me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello, Missy,” said the Doctor.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The shimmering hologram darkened and solidified. Whatever effect Missy was going for with her hologram, she only succeeded in making herself look like a psychotic Mary Poppins. Her eyes held mine for a fraction of a second before they shifted to the Doctor. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hello, John Smith,” said Missy. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“How are you this evening?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My systems are functioning within normal parameters.” Missy tilted her head and blinked twice. “How may I assist you?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor stared at her for a long moment. He glanced back at me. “Nothing more tonight, Missy. Thank you.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Query, John Smith.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes, Missy?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Why does Clara Oswald refer to you as Doctor?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor looked at me with his brows raised. “I hadn’t noticed,” he said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara Oswald has referred to you as <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Doctor </span>on three occasions,” said Missy.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Whatever her reasons are, they are her own, Missy.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara Oswald has exaggerated her height by 2.54 centimeters.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Missy,” snapped the Doctor. “That’s enough of that.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Missy inclined her head, eyes lowered demurely. “As you wish,” she said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor pointed the gadget at her. The gadget emitted a short burst of sound. In the instant before she winked off, Missy locked eyes with me. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor stood looking down at the MISI module. After a moment, he picked it up and turned it over. He pressed a button and a compartment opened with a quiet hiss. He reached in and extracted a component that looked like a golf ball dipped in gold. He walked over to his workshop and set the module on the table. He took a metal box off a shelf and put the gold ball inside. He closed the box, locked it and put it back on the shelf. He came back and sat next to me on the couch.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I think I made a mistake building Missy,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“She’s a hoity-toity cunt,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor spit-choked on the sip of lager he was swallowing. “That’s my <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">masterpiece</span> you’re calling a cunt,” he laughed. “What was that gold golf ball thing?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I guess you could call it a motherboard — the component that lets all of the other components to communicate with each other — except far more sophisticated than that. It also powers the module. Even when it’s on standby, AI systems continue to develop. Taking out the core shuts it down completely,” he said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“So she can’t make plans while you’re not looking,” I said. “Be careful, Doctor. I used to be married to a rock star. I know that look from other women. She’s jealous.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was silent, thinking, his brow troubled. “Anyway. Let’s watch the movie.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I waited while he fussed with the couch pillows, settled in, then jumped up again to take off his shoes, search for his glasses, go to the toilet, put his phone on silent, re-heat the garlic noodles, and pour himself a glass of scotch because he “wasn’t feeling” the lager. He held up the bottle of scotch.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Want one,” he asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes. Yes, I do,” I said. “So I can pour it on your head then set you on fire.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Okay, okay. I’m sitting down, now,” he said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He pointed the cylindrical gadget at the television and started the movie. He fed me a bite of garlic noodles from his chopsticks. He stuffed a massive wad of noodles into his mouth and sat back, one arm cradling his head. I settled back into the sofa cushions, letting him feed me bites of the noodles from time to time.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh, shit.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What?” I asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Subtitles. Can’t hide my face if I have to read subtitles.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I really hope you’re not a movie-talker,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Nah. Mind you, I may scream like a girl a few times.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">During the opening scenes he commented on the low-budget, 1970s aesthetic but shut up when I gave him an evil look. The movie quickly turned ominous. The Doctor grabbed the throw draped on the back of the sofa.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Shift,” he said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He lay down behind me, pulled me down against him and covered us with the throw. I exhaled silently and relaxed into the curve of his body, his hard chest and slightly soft belly pressing into my back. He drew up his legs, spooning me. He rested his arm on my side, his hand balancing his glass of whiskey on my hip.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Comfortable,” he asked quietly.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes,” I whispered.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He leaned over me and set his glass of scotch on the coffee table. He lay back and draped his arm around my waist.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are you cold?” he asked, fussing with the blanket. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“No.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You just shivered,” he said. “Which is weird because you are so warm.” He tightened his arm around me.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“If you hold me any tighter, I’ll be in back of you.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sorry,” he said, not loosening his arm.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I don’t need this blanket, either,” I said, kicking it off my legs.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You wear these little dresses just to drive me mad, don’t you?” He plucked at the hem riding high on my thigh. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ll wear tights next time.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Don’t you dare,” he said, smoothing my hem back down. He captured one of my feet between his. “Even your feet are warm,” he murmured.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Watch the movie, Doctor.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I am.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">But he wasn’t watching the movie. The hand on my thigh rubbed me in small circles, calloused fingertips brushing the bare skin below the hem of my dress, the movement pushing it up again. He exhaled deeply and pulled my hem back down. His hand continued to stroke me through my clothes, moving slowly up to my waist, fingers lightly tracing designs or gently squeezing like a blind man exploring. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm. I felt him bend his head, and his breath, hot, then cool on my scalp as he smelled my hair. He hooked a finger in the collar of my dress and pulled it down over my shoulder, stroking a thumb over the exposed skin. He pressed his lips to the curve where my neck met my shoulder. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are we not going to watch this movie?” I asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I am watching,” he said. “I can do both. I can stop if you like.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Do what you gotta do,” I said with feigned exasperation.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He laughed and shifted us around until he was on his back with me laying half on him, our legs entangled and my head on his chest. My dress had ruched up around my hips. The Doctor looked down. He looked at me. He pointed to my dress and made a figure eight in the air with his finger.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are you…naked underneath?” he asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Thong.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He covered his eyes with a hand. “For fuck’s sake, Clara.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I pushed up on his chest so I could look him in the eyes.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Shut up, stop fidgeting, and watch the movie or I will do a thing and it will not be a good thing,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He finally settled and watched the movie but his hands still roamed my body, almost absently. He had an erection of varying degrees that he didn’t try to hide, just rolling his hips a little with a pleasant wince or shamelessly adjusting himself with a hand in his pants. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I did my fair share of touching him, sliding my hand under his jumper to run my fingers over the hair on his lower belly, rubbing my palm in circles on his chest. It felt so good to touch and be touched. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The movie was wholly terrifying and intensely creepy, both of us yelling at the characters — “What the fuck?” “Don’t go in there by yourself!” “Oh, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">hell</span> no he did not just do that!” . There were lots of good scares, during which the Doctor would hide his face in a pillow. We screamed and laughed at each other. It was exhilarating and got our adrenaline up.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Holy shit,” the Doctor exclaimed. “I’m going to have nightmares and it’s all your fault.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Poor baby,” I said. I laced my fingers on his chest and rested my chin on them. “How can I make it up to you?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Well, I don’t know. I can come up with a few things,” he said. “But we’re just <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">hanging out</span>.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He blinked at me, his eyes clear and blue and innocent. I was beginning to think that it wasn’t Cheema who cast a spell.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“How are you so irresistible,” I asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I could ask I you the same, Clara Oswald.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What do you think if we start the whole mates just hanging out bit…tomorrow?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me up his body until our faces were even. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. When I plunged my fingers into his hair, he gripped my hands, gently pulled my arms down and crossed my wrists behind my back. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I want you want to keep them there,” he said. He tilted his head and held my eyes. “Do you understand?” he asked. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I bit my lip and nodded.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Tell me,” he commanded, gently.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes,” I said with a soft gasp.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He lifted us both off the couch. He was deceptively strong in the way that tall men with long arms are. Something to do with leverage. He stood very close to me without touching. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Go to my bedroom. Take off your dress.” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned and walked away, hands behind my back, wrists crossed the way he had placed them. I looked back at him. He was still standing by the couch, watching me. The Doctor simply standing there, hair mussed and breathing deeply was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">In the bedroom enclosure, I pulled off my dress and dropped it on the floor. I thought briefly about striking a sexy pose but I understood that standing by the bed wearing only a thong and thigh high socks, with my wrists crossed behind me was damn sexy enough. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor leaned a shoulder casually against the door frame as his eyes traveled down my body. He tilted his head toward the bed. I sat on the edge, my knees together, my hands firmly behind my back bound tightly, not with rope, but because he told me to put them there. He walked over and stood before me. He pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. He reached out and brushed the back of his hand lightly across my breasts. He leaned down, his lips close to my ear.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Take my cock out,” he whispered.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I knelt and unfastened his jeans, taking my time with each metal button. I levered his pants down to his hips. I reached into his boxer briefs and pulled his cock out. It was already erect but seemed to grow harder as I gazed at it. I looked up at the Doctor. He stared down at me. He reached down and worked my hair free, running his fingers through it, fanning it across my back. I folded my hands behind my back. I waited.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Put me in your mouth,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I dipped my head and ran the flat of my tongue from the base of his cock to the tip. I planted tiny butterfly kisses from the tip to the base, then dragged my lips back up to the tip, sucking it into my mouth and swirling my tongue around it. I heard the Doctor sigh and gasp, his fingers tightening in my hair. I looked up at him. He gathered all of my hair in one hand. He stared into my eyes, asking with slightly raised brows.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hmmm,” I moaned and opened my mouth.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He gently but firmly tugged my hair until my head was slightly tilted back. He flexed his hips and slowly slid his cock into my mouth. I could barely get half of his length in before the head of his cock touched the back of my throat. He pulled out completely then pushed forward again, between my lips, past my teeth, and over my tongue, to press a little more firmly against the back of my throat. He repeated the motion again and again, going faster, his hands in my hair a little less gentle. He groaned my name and I could feel his cock swell in my mouth. I reached up and pushed him away with my hands on his hips. He stumbled back a step and looked down at me with concern, his chest heaving.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sorry. Sorry,” he panted. “Did I hurt you?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I need you inside me,” I said. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my thong and peeled it off. I lifted my foot and kicked it off my ankle. I sat on the edge of the bed and moved to take off my socks.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Leave it,” said the Doctor, pushing his own pants down.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I yelped when he picked me up and crawled up the bed. He gripped my wrists and bound them in one hand above my head. He spread my thighs with a knee, held himself with his other hand and entered me to the hilt in one hard thrust that made us both cry out. He fucked me in long, strong strokes, his face buried in my hair.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Fuck me, Doctor,” I panted, wrapping my legs around his waist. “Please. Harder.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He groaned and pounded into me, holding himself above me like a man doing push ups. I watched his face. His eyes were closed and his lips parted, his long neck corded with muscle. I couldn’t reach his mouth so I kissed and licked and sucked wherever I could reach on his chest and shoulder and neck. I wanted all of him, as deep inside me as possible. As if he’d read my mind, he slid his hands down and under my body, and gripped my ass, all of his body weight crushing me into the mattress, our hips thrusting and grinding into each other. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He had me pinned. I was dizzy and could barely move. He was everywhere — in me, on me, in my mouth. I fancied that I could hear him in my mind</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Clara…Clara…Clara.</span></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It was as if we were in another dimension, alone, together, connected. I could feel what he felt— my pussy, hot and slick and tight around his cock. I squeezed with my vaginal muscles and felt intense pleasure ripple from my core and down the backs of my legs. I heard a moan that I think came from both of us. I unhooked my ankles from the small of his back and brought my knees up on either side of him, as high as they could go, opening myself completely, his balls slapping against me with every hard thrust.<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>He suddenly went still, stiffened then shuddered. His cock pulsed and he started thrusting again, groaning loudly. The intensity of my orgasm caught me by surprise. Everything below my waist exploded with pleasure. My clit and pussy contracted once, twice, three times, then in tiny, arrhythmic bursts. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">That was the Doctor</span>, I thought.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor collapsed half on and half off me. I heaved him onto his back and lay on top of him, my legs straddling his hips, my head on his chest. We were sticky with sweat and come. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Is this — ,” I started.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You don’t weigh anything. It’s fine,” he said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“How did you know what I was going to say?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was quiet for so long that I lifted my head and looked at him. He was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Doctor?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was quiet again. I laid my head back on his chest and listened to his strange heartbeat. He had something to say. I hoped it was something I wanted to hear. I tried to relax, not jump to conclusions. I waited.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re in my head, Clara Oswald. And I don’t think you’re going to leave.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Is that a bad thing?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s the best thing.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Then why are you sad?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He picked up my hand and kissed my fingers.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re so tiny,” he murmured.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He rolled us over then pulled me up to the pillows so that we faced each other. He smoothed my hair back and rested his hand on the side of my face. He kissed the space between my eyebrows and stroked his thumb across my lips. I stared into his eyes. Nested in the blue, was a jagged gold ring around the iris, like a starburst. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I need to show you my box,” he said softly.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yeah?” I whispered. I kissed his lower lip, then his whiskery chin. “What’s in this box?” I nuzzled under his chin and kissed the hollow of his throat. “God, I could just <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">eat</span> you,” I said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“All of time and space.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I looked at him, confused. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Your police box?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He rolled out of the bed and held out his hand. We walked to the big, blue box. I snickered. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What,” he asked.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I need a shag rag,” I giggled.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He chuckled. “Shag rag. I haven’t heard that since school. I’m sure I can find one in my box.”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You keep your linens in your magic box?”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We stopped in front of the police box. His hand tightened around mine. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Among other things,” He said.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He raised his other hand and snapped his fingers. One of the doors opened inward, even though the sign on the front said, “Pull to Enter.” Golden light spilled out. </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I tilted my head and looked inside.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;">XxxXXXxxx</span> </span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Next up: The Widow, The Magician, and All of Time and Space</span></b></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-60382026252509561772022-07-31T13:57:00.010-07:002022-07-31T17:33:13.231-07:00The Widow, The Magician, and the Dark and Stormy Night — A Doctor Who Series, Part I<p> </p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6uy4okBB8HH55oUgj8mhKnWOhhAHC0-6fe11unUKiwvsh3TPQng-WzzVFvVbzMvIGtzOnnL9nrwE7AY_6bHcjkY0ZKnCg_geO9fnhHRxnzRLOaJIVo_crtS4vNFiM78vzP0SN8VKxC0CngaoXol-q88xs58I7yUW8TK835jk9Irsh_sHa0CM/s1500/AC10C47A-EDD9-4D28-B240-FB10DB41673F.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6uy4okBB8HH55oUgj8mhKnWOhhAHC0-6fe11unUKiwvsh3TPQng-WzzVFvVbzMvIGtzOnnL9nrwE7AY_6bHcjkY0ZKnCg_geO9fnhHRxnzRLOaJIVo_crtS4vNFiM78vzP0SN8VKxC0CngaoXol-q88xs58I7yUW8TK835jk9Irsh_sHa0CM/w400-h400/AC10C47A-EDD9-4D28-B240-FB10DB41673F.jpeg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-weight: bold;">Summary</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">: Clara Oswald moves back to London after the death of her husband and meets her mysterious neighbor.</span></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;">~~Part One</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My husband, Danny, felt an odd twinge in his side that wouldn't go away. He insisted that it was more annoying than painful, but I dragged him to our GP when I caught him trying to pretend that he wasn't winded after climbing a half flight of stairs. The twinge turned out to be liver cancer that had silently metastasized to his lungs and to his bones. The prognosis was very poor and treatment options were aggressive, tortuous, and likely futile. Three days after his diagnosis, Danny smiled softly at me, gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me he was going to have a short kip before tea. I found him two hours later on the chaise in his studio, his body cool and still.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Danny and I had not had time to internalize the idea that he was ill. There was no anger, no denial, not even fear. We had not yet discussed going forward — or not — with treatment, nor had we scheduled a second opinion. We had not told Courtney, our fifteen-year-old daughter, nor Rory, Danny's thirty-year-old son from a previous relationship. We had not thought about talking to our solicitors. Danny said he didn't feel sick. He was not in pain. He truly believed that he could finish the last two concert dates on his tour. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We thought we had time. Then he was gone.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">After the funeral home took away his body that evening, I kept finding signs of Danny alive: a half-drunk cup of coffee and a plate with toast crumbs on a side table in his studio, his phone still charging on his desk, his toothbrush, damp from that morning. The smell of him everywhere. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Our Courtney quietly fell apart. My brash, brilliant girl did not speak a word for nearly a year, her beautiful eyes wide and blank with shock. She clung to me and Rory and had flailing, silent panic attacks if one of us was not at least within eyesight at all times. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Rory expertly handled the press, gave the eulogy at the memorial, then firmly requested that everyone leave us alone. He moved back home with Courtney and me, got roaring drunk with his mates only once, then went back to his residency at the hospital right away. Rory was strong but I knew that in his own way, he was just as broken as his sister.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was devastated, of course. Danny was the love of my life, and I, his. We were the Rock Star and the Random Nobody. People snickered behind their hands. The tabloids dogged us endlessly. No one thought it would last. But we did. We were a real-life fairytale, never a cross word between us, in love every day for seventeen years. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A wise man once said, the day someone dies isn't the hardest. At least you have something to do. It's the days after that they stay dead, and you have to go on without them. That didn’t apply to me. There was too much work to be done. I wanted to wail and cry and tear at my hair but I had to hold the world together for our children. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Two weeks after Danny's memorial, I walked into a mahogany-paneled, Wall Street conference room, with a dozen lawyers sat around a table the length of an airport runway. Danny never cared about money but he was smart about it. I wasn't totally clueless about our finances but there was lot more than I ever imagined. I also wasn't a "random nobody". I was a successful author who wrote mysteries under an ambiguously male pseudonym, my true identity more closely guarded than nuclear launch codes. I had two bestsellers before I married Danny and seven more after. I earned this money, too. The cash alone was enough for several lifetimes, but then there were investments, merchandise manufacturers, tax shelters, royalties, real estate, three production companies, a twenty-five-year library of platinum hits that was in the middle of negotiations with a music streaming platform, art, antiques, endowments, a girl's school in Malawi and so much more. At one end of the table was a four-inch stack of papers for me to sign. I looked around the table, gathered the stack of papers and had it and countless boxes of financial records couriered to Linda, my wicked stepmother in Blackpool. There was no love lost between Linda and me but she was a sharp-eyed harpy, well-versed in international accounting practices. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Even with a dozen lawyers and Linda's hawkish oversight, it took over two years to sort Danny's estate. We took another year to auction off most of the art and antiques, holding some back as heirlooms. We purchased his birth home in Brixton, and turned it into a museum that housed his musical instruments, concert costumes, his gold and platinum records and hundreds of photographs. I divested the estate of almost everything, put the proceeds into a trust for Courtney and Rory, and created a foundation that built schools and clean-water infrastructure in developing nations.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And just like that, it was nearly five years gone. Courtney was on the mend with a good therapist and finishing up her second year at university. Rory met a Scottish firecracker named Amy who introduced herself to him by saying, "Oh yeah. We're definitely getting married."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I sat next to Rory at their wedding table, dressed in my plain, mother-in-law dress, barely five years older than the bride, watching them dance to one of Danny’s songs, my jaw clenched against the ache in my heart. It had finally hit me that Danny Pink was dead. And he would stay dead tomorrow, the day after, and the day after, and the day after. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">After the wedding, I lay in the bathtub and sobbed until my head throbbed and my throat ached. I hauled myself out of the tub, dried off, washed down an aspirin with a big glass of water then crawled into bed, curling up under the duvet. No one tells you that grief is <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">physically</span> painful, too. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">But as I drifted into sleep, I thought, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">this is horrible, but I think I can do it</span>.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Months went by, then a year, then another. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Anniversaries and birthdays were cause for celebration again. Courtney spent her first holidays away from home with a pretty, gangly girl named Bill who had hair even bigger than Courtney's. Rory and Amy gave us little Oswin Pink, born the same day as Danny. A man who was famous for being wealthy tried to chat me up at a charity event and I didn’t walk away while he was till talking. It didn't go beyond the one conversation, but the interaction was not unpleasant. The other realization was that my lack of interest was about that <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">particular</span> man, not all men.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When we were first married, Danny and I promised that if something happened to one of us, the other was allowed to remember them for five minutes a day, have a proper cry — or even better, a good laugh — then just get on with it. I was not quite laughing yet, but I was smiling more. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was getting on with it.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was also writing again but I had a lot of false starts and plots that seemed destined for ridiculous Scooby Doo endings. I usually released a new novel every two years. I had fortunately completed a trilogy a month before Danny died and the third was due to be released soon. I wasn’t <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">technically</span> behind but I usually had the outline for my next book complete by the time the previous one was ready for release. This one eluded me. I wasn't exactly blocked but I was stuck. My editor thought deadlines and a change of scenery might help.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I thought I would be sad to leave New York but I wasn't. Danny had loved America and I liked it there, too — I would've lived barefoot on the moon with Danny Pink — but I missed England and wanted to go home.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*****</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I closed up our Manhattan apartment and bought a modest house in a quiet, semi-suburban neighborhood in London. I could’ve afforded to live anywhere but neither Danny nor I ever liked hobnobbing with the ultra-rich. My new neighbors were BBC actors, a smattering of old money families and single, young techies with money to burn. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The day after I arrived in London, the whole world locked down due to COVID-19. Courtney was happily “stranded” in Barbados with Bill and dozens of cousins from Danny’s side of the family. Rory was pulling sixty-hour shifts at the hospital, while Amy wrangled Oswin and conducted online therapy with her patients. Oswin was just turning three and was absolutely beautiful. She had Rory’s face, Danny’s complexion and a massive mop of burnished gold curls. There was room for them all should they want to join me when the world opened up again.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I didn’t mind Locked Down World. The planet seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. I loved my house, liked staying home and I was happy to have a back garden around which to putter again. On the rare occasions I went out, the colorful masks that Courtney sent me made me invisible to the paparazzi. I even adopted an elderly, extremely crotchety dog of an unknown, shaggy lineage. I named him Motley.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Most of the homes in my new neighborhood have a small stone outbuilding in their back gardens. Most are garages, some converted into usable spaces. I made my outbuilding into my writing studio. I replaced a window with French doors that open onto a tiny terrace, giving me the option of working inside my studio or outside. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">In addition to an eight foot stone wall, hedges and trees blocked the view from my neighbors' gardens into my mine. The people who live on one side are an actor and his wife. I had to have a diseased witch elm removed on that side and the removal created a gap near my studio. The neighbor’s house was built on a slightly higher elevation than mine and with the tree gone, they could see into the French doors of my studio. I hadn't seen any of my immediate neighbors in the almost six months since I moved in, so I wasn't too worried about this tiny breach.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It was private and quiet and exactly what I needed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">****</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stood in my kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, turning over a plot idea in my head. Cheema, my housekeeper, wiped at the spotless countertop with a clean towel.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Humph," she huffed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I ignored her.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She stared at me with raised brows and pursed lips, one hand on her hip. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I sighed. "Yes, Cheema," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Since you <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">asked</span>, Gisela tell me that <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">she</span> be gone and he sometime don’t know <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">where</span> she at." She gestured vaguely towards the neighbor’s house.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I frowned. "Gisela went back to Germany?" </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"No, the <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">lady</span>, not Gisela," Cheema said, as if she were explaining something to an idiot child. "Gisela say River Song <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">stay</span> gone for months and that the man be home now he not working. Though acting not be <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">real</span> work, if somebody ask <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">me</span>," she sniffed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Well, it's probably due to COVID. Maybe she’s stuck somewhere. People can't travel like they used to," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Cheema raised a brow. "COVID don’t make them sleep <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">separate. </span>It been more than a <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">year</span>, now. <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Before </span>the plague.” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Cheema, I really don't care about these people I've never seen and I have my own shit to deal with," I said. "Leave it."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Humph," said Cheema.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*****</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I coped with my writer's block by going for long runs on the trails in the park behind our houses. There's a high, grassy hill where I liked to end my runs before I looped back home. I could see my house and back garden over the trees. I usually rested up there and took my five minutes to think of Danny. One day, I saw a man in my neighbor's garden, leaving their outbuilding. My housekeeper told me that the actor uses it as his own studio. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I watched him from the hill as I paced back and forth. I was only mildly curious but I could see that he was slender and tall and had a full head of silvery hair. As I watched, he stopped, turned and inspected the gap left by the witch elm removal. Motley ambled grumpily over. The actor must have said something because Motley begrudgingly wagged his tail. Motley <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">never</span> wagged his tail.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I watched the actor walk back into his house. Just before he went inside, he turned and looked up. I wasn't sure if he could see me but I had the sudden urge to duck. There was nowhere to hide so I just pretended to stretch, then I ran on.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I got home, my housekeeper was grinning big.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"What?" I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Him</span> back," she said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She tilted her head toward the neighbor's house, practically rubbing her hands together with glee. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Who?" I said, with feigned disinterest. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was surprised that I was actually curious. I don't usually have the emotional energy to get caught up in other peoples' intrigue.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Cheema leaned forward and whispered, "He not home <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">five</span> minute and the man come with a <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">big</span> packet of <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">papers </span>for him sign." She winked at me. "He <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">free</span>."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I decided right then that my next novel would be about a nosey, crime-solving Afro-Caribbean housekeeper. Cheema’s family were from the same islands as Danny’s so I wouldn’t even have to do much research. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Cheema, what are you talking about," I asked. "And why are you whispering?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She leaned forward again. "River Song <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">official</span> gone. He official <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">alone</span> now. Gisela say he <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">magic</span>.” She pointed at me with a tapered finger. “I say Clara Oswald magic, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">more</span>. You let him see pretty you. That be <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">all</span> it take," she said. “You be off with him in he blue box.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"No. Oh my God, no," I said. "I am not trying to start something, especially not with some newly divorced, sad sack old man. Plus, I've got a deadline in five months and I'm way behind."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Him old but him <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">not</span>,” said Cheema.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What does that even mean? Never mind. I don’t care.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Cheema sniffed and sucked her teeth, twisting her lips. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Don't you dare," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Pretty girls walk through <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">open</span> doors," Cheema said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Cheema, I'm ten years older than you. Too old for you to be acting like my fairy godmother. I'm telling you now to keep my business with me," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley grunted grumpily. Cheema pointed at him. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“He know. This old dog been here <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">before</span>,” she said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Leave it, Cheema," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Clara Oswald said none of <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">my</span> business, it <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">none</span> of mine. I just <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">work</span> here." </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She walked off in a huff, flicking her duster at non-existent dust.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley snuffle-snorted through his mustache and stared at me.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You stay shut up,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was serious about not wanting to get involved. It would be the worst idea in the world. But the writer in me couldn't help but raise her curious head at the occasional sounds coming from next door. For so long after my husband died, I still felt like his wife. The thought of another man seemed like cheating. I will love Danny Pink always and forever but I was finally making space for someone else. I lingered at the top of the hill a couple of times that week, but I didn’t see <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">him</span> in his back garden again. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And what was this about a <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">blue box</span>?</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*****</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">England was having its worst heatwave in a century so I moved my runs from late mornings to well after sunset when it was slightly cooler. One day, clouds began to build in the sky. The forecast had threatened showers for days. The clouds looked particularly dark and heavy but I went for my run anyway. I was pacing the top of the hill when the first, fat, warm drops of rain splashed down. I looked up and rain poured from the clouds as if the gods turned on a faucet. I was instantly drenched.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned to run back down the hill. My feet tangled and I fell, sliding right into a puddle. I lay there for a moment, spread-eagled. I glared at the sky.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Don’t think I don’t know this was your doing, Danny Pink,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">By the time I reached my garden gate, my shoes were squelching with water and I was plastered up one side and down the other with mud. Cheema was gone for the day so I was stuck outside without a towel. Then, I remembered the tiny sink in my studio and that I had a towel there. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Being washed by the rain is one of those things you see in cheesy romance movies but I had always wanted to try it. If I ever needed to write about it, I'd know if it actually worked. I stood on my tiny studio terrace, toed off my sodden running shoes and peeled off my socks. Standing in the rain was a bit disappointing and not in the least romantic. The downpour was too inconsistent, like the dodgy shower in my old bedsit when I was at university, but at least the rain was warm. Slimy grit rubbed me sore along the band of my sports bra. I glanced around. My garden was pooled in darkness. I had not seen nor heard the actor for days. There were no lights on in his house. I decided to risk taking off my tee-shirt and bra, quickly rinse off the grit in the rain then put my tee-shirt back on for the trek back to my house.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That was the plan, anyway.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I forgot that wet sports bras magically morph into a binding device if you’re not careful when you remove them. Not only did my tee-shirt roll tightly into the straps, my ponytail got hopelessly caught as well. To top it off, part of my soaked shirt adhered to my face like cling film. I couldn’t see, and felt as if I was getting waterboarded.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I tried to free myself, but I was well and truly stuck. There I was, in tiny running shorts, face covered, arms bound above my head. It was so ridiculous that I started to laugh. I soon discovered that laughing is a mistake when you're getting waterboarded — which made me laugh harder. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The more I struggled, the tighter I was bound. The situation became no longer funny. I was just starting to panic when I heard a deep voice say, "Uh, are you — do you need help?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I froze in my contorted position. My mind raced. What do I do? I was barefoot, my breasts were exposed, and I was totally helpless. I couldn't run away if I wanted to. I was completely rooted where I stood, mortified. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm John," the voice said. "I live just next door."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My whole body flushed with hot embarrassment. I couldn't speak.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Well, okay," he said. "I'll…leave you to it."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My throat unlocked. "Help," I squeaked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Hang on. I've got to come round to your back gate."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">After a moment, I heard my gate open and close. I jumped when I heard John's voice.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm here now," he said. "Let's see. You are slightly stuck, aren't you?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Yes," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It is all right if I touch you? I’m vaccinated,” he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s fine,” I said breathlessly. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I felt cool hands on my waist turn me so that I faced away from him. I was grateful for that tiny concession to my modesty. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The thought, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Thank God my tits got bigger after having Courtney</span> came out of nowhere.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Incredibly, I started to giggle again.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"What the hell were you thinking," he asked. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I couldn't answer because I could barely breathe — and I couldn't stop laughing.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">His hands gently inched the tightly rolled fabric up my arms. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Stop fighting me," he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I can't breathe," I laughed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Calm down.” John turned me back to face him. "I'll have to rip this," he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"No! It's my favorite."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"If you'd rather suffocate?" he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Okay! Okay," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I felt his fingers stretch the fabric until it ripped open and my face was free. I gasped for air. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He stared at me with raised brows.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Hello," he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Hi," I whispered.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He worked his fingers under the roll and lifted it over my chin. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Straighten your arms," said John.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He stepped in close, pulled the wad of tangled fabric over my head and off my arms. His clothes were soaked through but I felt the heat of his body when my breasts briefly pressed against his chest. I was faintly disappointed when I saw that his eyes remained steadfastly on my face. He stepped away and moved behind me again. My ponytail was still trapped.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I think I can —," I start.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Might as well finish the job," he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I crossed my arms over my breasts cupping them in my hands. John stood very close again as he worked my hair loose, his calloused fingertips brushing the skin at the nape of my neck. I tried not to shiver.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"My daughter has long hair like yours," he said. "When she was a kid, she'd get elastics stuck in. Her mother didn't have the patience for it, so I'd take the time to work them out. I got quite good at it."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">His hands were so gentle that I started to forget that I was essentially naked, standing in the rain with a strange man.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"My friend, Stephen said she did it on purpose because it was the only time she had my undivided attention," he continued.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I looked up and saw my dog staring suspiciously at us through the sliding glass doors leading from the kitchen to the back terrace. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I think I can —," I said, reaching back.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He gently brushed my hand away. "Almost there," he murmured.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The last of my hair fell over my shoulder.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"There," he said softly. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Neither of us moved for a long moment. I jumped when he handed me my clothes over my shoulder.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Thank you," I stammered. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I glanced at him over my shoulder. His gaze traveled over my bare back. He blinked and cleared his throat.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Goodbye," he said. Before I could respond, he turned and strode away.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stood for a moment, wondering what the hell just happened, thinking that I couldn't even use the event in a story. It was just too unbelievable. I took a step towards my house and John reappeared.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Sorry," he said. "Do you have a ladder?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"What?" I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John motioned vaguely behind him. "I forgot that my back gate automatically locks. My phone is in the house somewhere and I don't have my key fob. When I was younger, I could climb over but now." He smiled ruefully, red-faced.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I couldn't help it. He looked so pained that I started to laugh again. John's lips twitched, then he started laughing, too. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I caught my breath, I said, "No, I don't have a ladder."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John looked momentarily lost.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Come through," I said, still chuckling. "You can go in from the front."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Uh, my front door is locked, as well," he said. "I have to keep the place kind of buttoned up. There were incidents with fans at our old house. If I could use your phone, I’ll can message the house’s computer and tell it to unlock the door."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm sorry for laughing. This is all my fault," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned and walked to my house. I could feel him looking at the back of me and imagined Cheema's knowing grin. I resolved to never tell her about this. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John took off his boots and socks before stepping inside. My dog greeted him like he was his best friend.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"This is Motley. He hates everyone.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clearly,” John said, kneeling to scratch Motley's ears. "He looks like he’s hiding the fact that he can talk.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I wouldn’t be in the least surprised,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John stood and ran long fingers through the wet waves of his hair. "Have you got a towel?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Oh! Sorry! I'll be right back," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Wait," John said. "What's your name?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Oh, God. Sorry.” I slapped my forehead then quickly dropped my arm back over my breasts. "I'm Clara," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Nice to meet you, Clara."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I’ll get your towel," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When I returned with his towel, he was standing at the kitchen sink, wringing the water from his tee-shirt. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I never fancied having a <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">type </span>of man who I was attracted to and if I did, men like John Smith had never been it. He was the literal physical opposite to Danny — flat-chested, taller by a couple of inches, his shoulders somehow both narrow and broad. I had had the impression that he was whip thin but he wasn’t. He wasn’t muscular but he wasn’t soft either, except for the barest hint at his midriff. The skin on his chest and back were blindingly white, even for a Scotsman. His soaked jeans clung to his bum and thighs. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A strong wave of lust flushed me bright red from my hair to my feet. It was so unexpected that I let out a soft gasp. John saw me, blinked and looked politely away. I realized with a start that I was still mostly naked, clutching my ball of tangled clothes to my bare chest.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Sorry!" I said, throwing the towel at him and running away.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I quickly pulled on an oversized tee-shirt from the laundry hamper in my room. I picked up my phone, considered it for a moment, then put it down. I fetched a bathrobe from my guest bedroom and went back to the kitchen.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I held out the bathrobe to John. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"There’s a guest bath down the hall. You can wear this while your clothes dry." I said. "There's a laundry chute in the bathroom."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He did not ask to borrow my phone to message his house’s security system.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">After putting John's clothes in the dryer, I came back up to the kitchen. John was sitting at the breakfast bar wearing the bathrobe, his head down, drying his hair with the towel. The sliver curls were bright under my kitchen’s lights, the back of his neck smooth and tender as a baby’s. I gave myself a mental slap across the face.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I pointed. "Kettle, there. Tea, under there. Mugs, up here. Give me twenty minutes to wash off the rest of the mud,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm actually kind of hungry. I was going in to eat when I saw you struggling."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Oh! Uh…" I said. "I can order something in," I said. “It’s the least I could do.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John stood and looked around. "I can cook pretty much anything. Go have a wash. I'll knock something together." When I hesitated, he flapped his hands in a shooing motion. "Go, go."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I lingered in the shower, carefully exfoliating every inch of my skin. A week before, I’d waxed my naughty bits for the first time in the almost seven years since Danny died. I stroked my fingers over the breath of soft wisps only just growing in. I closed my eyes, imagining John Smith’s strong, slender fingers. I opened my eyes, shocked at myself. I just met the man half an hour ago. All I know is his name. What was I thinking? I told myself to go down and give him my phone so that he could unlock his house. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Or</span>, said the voice in my head, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">you could have a nice chat over tea and toast while you wait for the storm to blow over. </span></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I told myself that nothing was going to happen, while I rubbed scented shea butter into my skin. I put on a shapeless cotton shift. The hem of the dress hit at mid-thigh and was reasonably modest — if I didn’t raise my arms. I decided against underwear. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I brushed my damp hair back from my face. I’d let my hair grow for the past couple of years and it fell in slight waves nearly to the small of my back. I smoothed my eyebrows with my fingers. I looked soft and kind of sexy, I thought.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Damn you, Cheema," I muttered. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I went downstairs to the kitchen, expecting at the most, scrambled eggs on buttered toast, but John had halved figs with shaved Parmesan and basil on a plate, scampi searing in a pan, and a big pot boiling water for pasta.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Holy shit," I said. "This is just <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">knocking something together</span>?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Eh," he said. "This kind of meal is mostly done for you." He held up a bottle of red wine. "I hope this is okay. You've got some nice ones, a couple of which you need to drink soon."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"No, it's fine!" I said. "I open a bottle, and usually half goes to waste."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Well, that won't do." John set a glass of wine in front of me. He picked up his glass. "What shall we toast to?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"To the rain," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"To the rain."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We both took a drink.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John held out his hand and waited for me to take it. "Hello. I'm John Smith,” he said. “I was an actor but I sort of retired a year ago. Now I'm a painter. Because I'm famous, my paintings will sell, even if they're shit. They aren’t shit. I have a daughter named Jenny and a brand new grandson named Carter. I'm freshly divorced after a hundred years. One weird fact about me is that I can sleep standing up."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He stared at me expectantly. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm Clara Oswald. I was a school teacher for a couple of years before becoming a bestselling mystery writer. If I told you my <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">nom de plume</span>, I'd have to kill you, but you can find my books in very prestigious airport kiosks worldwide. I have a daughter named Courtney, a stepson named Rory and a brand new step-granddaughter named Oswin Pink. You've met my dog, Motley. One weird fact about me is I know when I’ve had too much to drink when I can no longer say the word <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">sausage</span>. Hilarity will ensue if you try to make me say it."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We shook hands. "Pleased to meet you, Clara Oswald," he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Embarrassed to meet you, John Smith," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Don't be. These things happen."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Do they? Do they really? I swear I'm not an idiot."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"It <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">was</span> strange, actually," he chuckled. "I looked over and wasn't sure what I was seeing. Then saw that you were starting to panic. I couldn't leave you to it." </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Hell of a way to meet your new neighbor," I said. “But I’m glad you came along when you did.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He drained the pasta in a colander that I couldn’t have found in my kitchen without Cheema finding it for me. He dumped the pasta into the pan with the scampi and tossed them together. He plated our food and set them on the bar. I took a bite and hummed happily. John grinned and poured us more wine. He cocked his head.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Pink?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Yes."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"You’re <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">that </span>Clara Oswald<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">.</span>"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Yes,” I said. "Is that okay?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He nodded. "I'm sorry for your loss," he said. "Your husband's music had a huge influence on me and my own creative process. I mourned his passing.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Thank you,” I said. “So, what kind of acting did you do? Stage? Screen?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"A bit of this and that.” He paused. "Mostly, one could say I was sort of a…magician."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh my God. It’s you,” I exclaimed. “The Doctor. With the big blue box.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That’s me,” said John.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My husband and daughter loved your show. Didn’t some tech guy put up five million pounds for anyone who can figure out how your box works?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It was NASA and it’s ten million. There’s an act of Parliament that considers any foreign government’s attempt to “confiscate” my box a declaration of war.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re kidding.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">For the briefest of moments something steely flashed in his eyes then he smiled and shrugged with a tilt of his head.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Well? How does it work,” I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Smoke and mirrors.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Well, you did say only your husband and daughter liked my show.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I raised a brow. “John Smith?<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"> That’s</span> your disguise?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I hide in plain sight. I can be seen if I want to.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’ll have to explain what that means.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John wiped his mouth on his napkin and stood. “I’m John Smith,” he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He held up his hand dramatically and snapped his fingers. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m the Doctor,” he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The timbre of his voice changed. His features hardened and his eyes smoldered under his long lashes. He seemed to take up more space in the room. Even the light around him was brighter. </span><span style="font-size: large;">He looked — and felt — like an entirely different man. He snapped his fingers and he was John Smith again. He sat down.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Wh— What? How did you do that?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I go out as John Smith and no one gives me a second glance,” he said. “It’s like flipping a switch. A trick I learned from Marilyn Monroe.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That’s amazing,” I said. “But, erm, Marilyn Monroe?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Long story,” he shrugged. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard the distant buzzer of the dryer, signaling the end of the cycle. We both looked up. John put down his fork and dabbed at his mouth. To my surprise, he picked up the bottle of wine and poured more in our glasses. I kept eating, the pounding of my heart loud in my ears.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John leaned his forearms on the breakfast bar, fingers toying with his wine glass. He looked at me. "Why isn't this more awkward?"</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"As my grandmother used to say, no one's ever died from embarrassment," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John snorted. "You were obviously one of the cool kids. But that's not what I mean. I'm never this comfortable with new people. Certainly not women."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"We kinda started at third base with all the not wearing clothes," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I met you an hour ago, then suddenly I’m in a bathrobe, in your kitchen, cooking pasta. I don't do that. I've <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">never</span> done that." John said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I can get my phone, if…," I began.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"It’s okay,” he said. “That is, if it’s okay with you?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We gazed at each other for a long moment. I started laughing. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"You seem to burst into uncontrollable bouts of laughter from time to time,” John remarked. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I think my housekeeper might've put a spell on us," I said. "It's the only explanation."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I’m sorry, your housekeeper, what?" </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"She fancies herself my fairy godmother," I said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Princess Clara?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ugh. I never wanted to be a princess when I was a girl. As far as I could tell, princesses were sometimes evil, often vapid and usually very, very unlucky.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are you telling me that your housekeeper was trying to get us together?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I told her under no uncertain terms to leave it. Fairy tales often end badly.” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Mine certainly did.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I chuffed out a laugh. “Same,” I said. I held up my glass. “Fuck fairytales.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Fuck ‘em,” said John, tapping his glass with mine.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We finished the rest of the meal, our glances to each other starting to linger. John stacked our dishes in the dishwasher when we were done, while I got out another bottle of wine. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I sat at the breakfast bar, sipping my wine, watching him move about my kitchen after he insisted on doing the washing up as well. He didn’t ask for his clothes and I didn’t offer to go fetch them. If this evening was headed where I thought it was going, I needed to decide if it was <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">this</span> man I wanted, or if it was just a case of scratching an itch, and <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">any</span> man would do. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I assessed him with my writer’s eye. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He was a study in contradictions — somehow old <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">and</span> young, the sharp angles of his face softened by the lush waves of his hair. Every time I looked, his eyes were a different shade of blue. They were wide and gorgeous and fringed with thick, ridiculously long lashes. He had a profile that would look at home stamped on an ancient Roman coin. The way he moved was slightly gawky, like a teenager who hasn’t yet gotten used to their height and long limbs, but he was not without a strange kind of grace. Danny was baby-faced and <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">pretty</span>. John was…beautiful. The sliver in his hair ended abruptly in a couple of inches of feathery brown at his nape, drawing my attention again to how sweet and vulnerable the back of his neck seemed. I wanted to kiss him there, on the knob at the top of his spine and in the deep hollows behind his ears. I wanted to kiss his pink lips and rub my breasts against the stubble of his beard. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I hadn’t been with a man since my husband died and had only in the past few months recovered my libido. I hadn’t so much as rubbed one out in seven years. And here I was, leering at John Smith who made dinner for me and was doing the washing up. I had to admit that it felt really nice to be looked after. I was confident that he had no agenda other than doing me this kindness. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John Smith’s kindness and good intentions aside, I wanted to tear open that bathrobe, fall to my knees and shove his cock into my mouth with both hands. I was lost in that thought and didn’t realize that John had finished the washing up and was speaking to me.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes? Sorry! What? No, I wasn’t,” I said, wide-eyed and blinking.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms. “Yes, you were,” he said, grinning.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I covered my eyes with one hand. “Oh, God. Sorry,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s ok. I get it. You find yourself with a strangely compelling, masculine —.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh, shut up,” I laughed. I peeked at him from between my fingers. “It’s been…a while.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He took a sip from his glass of wine then peered into it with exaggerated suspicion. “Maybe your housekeeper spiked the wine with a potion.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m sure that’s <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">exactly</span> what happened.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yet here we are, in varying stages of undress, having entirely skipped the awkward getting-to- know-you phase.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"It can't be this easy," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We gazed at each other for a long moment.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Let's find out, yeah?" John said softly.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes,” I answered, my face on fire. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John picked up the bottle of wine. "Can we sit somewhere more comfortable," he asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stood and lead him to my living room. I sat at one end of the couch and he sat at the other.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Can you move closer to me so we don’t have to shout,” I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Say, <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">sausage.”</span></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I smiled and carefully enunciated the word.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Just checking,” he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He scooted over then slumped down into the cushions, legs stretched out before him. The robe fell open, exposing a long, muscular thigh from knee to hip. I could smell the wine on his breath, his deodorant just starting to wear off and, very faintly, the musk of his sex beneath the bathrobe. I inhaled deeply. I’d forgotten how much I missed the smell of a man’s body. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I sat sideways, facing him, ankles crossed, knees drawn up. His eyes traced my bare arms and legs. He huffed out a laugh and looked away, smiling, shaking his head.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"What?" I asked. "Can you see my knickers?" </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"No. I can't see your knickers," John said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Good, because I'm not wearing any," I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John dropped his head back with a groan. “You’re trying to kill me,” he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’ll live.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"So,” he said. He carefully set his wine glass on the coffee table. He gestured vaguely between us. “There is clearly something very unusual happening," John said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Is it magic?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“No such thing.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re a magician. Shouldn’t you <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">not</span> be saying things like that?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Science can look like magic. Sexual attraction is mostly chemistry,” he said. He gave me a sideways glance. “Which explains why you’re staring at me like a cartoon wolf holding a knife and fork.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I picked up a pillow and bonked him lightly on the head. “Says you,” I said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John grabbed the pillow and tossed it aside. He took my hand and held it, examining it with great concentration. He turned it over and traced the lines in my palm with his long middle finger. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Your life line and your love line diverge then come back together to form one line,” he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What does it mean?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I have no idea. I just wanted to touch you.” he said. “I’ve always found holding hands to be extremely intimate,” he murmured. “An expression of trust and safety. Connection. Reassurance. It’s something I never do casually.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He bent his head and pressed his lips to the center of my palm, then released me. I curled my fingers into a fist, trying to hold the warmth of the kiss in my hand.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Sorry, can I ask — you don’t have to answer,” I said. “What happened to your marriage?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John stood, walked to the small fireplace and gazed at the pictures on the mantle. An adorable Rory at age seven, all nose and missing front teeth. A hinged frame with Courtney in her school clothes on one side and Danny’s mother at the same age on the other — the spitting image of each other. Oswin and Amy sleeping in the sunlight. Danny, shirtless and in leather pants on stage, sheened in sweat, bent backwards with a microphone, his dreads nearly touching the floor. Teenaged Rory carefully holding infant Courtney in his lap, staring into her face, his eyes round with wonder. My parents on their wedding day. Me and Danny on our wedding day.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John turned back to me with his hands in the pockets of the robe.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I don’t mind telling you at all,” he said. “Very long story short, River put her life on hold for mine. She got tired of waiting for her turn. She left.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“And what about you,” I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I made a promise that we both knew I couldn’t keep.” He shrugged and quirked a smile. “You?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My life was perfect until it wasn’t. I suddenly had a teenager who lost her father and I had a massive estate to deal with. It was a couple of years before I could let myself really grieve.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John came back over and sat next to me, closer than he was before. He looked out the sliding glass doors at the storm.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hey,” I said. “I’m okay. Truly.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> John nodded, thoughtfully. “So am I,” he said. He looked at me. “So. What are the rules for things like this?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Are we negotiating?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Nothing wrong with knowing the terms before we, er, go in. Everything’s a negotiation. Promises and compromises. Concessions. Dealbreakers. People should do more…negotiating.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” I said. “If that’s not beating the metaphor <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">with</span> the dead horse.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“With the dead horse,” John chuckled. “That’s a good one.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“If we wake up tomorrow and this…whatever this is. This <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">spell</span> is broken, no hard feelings, yeah? We high-five each other and don't make it weird.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">High-five</span>? I’ve never high-fived anyone in my life.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“We don't even have to try to be friends. We go back to being neighbors. Behave like adults. Keep a cordial distance,” I said. “But, if…things are…good, and we agree to…continue, I ask that we be as discreet as possible. The paparazzi have mostly forgotten about me and I’d like to keep it that way.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"One, no hard feelings and more importantly, no regrets. I’ve got too many of those already,” said John. “Two, this stays between us, not matter what happens next. Three, I've bought a loft in Shoreditch and already accepted an offer on the house. I'm just here for a few days." </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John took my hand in his again. He leaned forward and propped his forearms on his thighs, lacing our fingers together. He sighed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I have to tell you though, that River will be here in a couple of days. We have a lifetime of stuff to sort so she will be staying over. I'll sleep in my studio while she's here." He studied my hand in his, massaging my palm with his thumb. "I'm letting her have it all, if she wants it. The money from the sell of the house, what's in the accounts, everything."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"If you're letting her have everything, what will you have," I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My freedom.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Okay," I said, unable to think of anything else.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"I'm telling you this so there are no surprises when you see her. And so that you know that we won't be neighbors after next week. I'm moving away, not running away. No cordial, neighborly distance required if this…spell is broken," he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Do you want to wait?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John looked at me, brows raised. "Wait? You mean me and you? Tonight? Christ, no," he said. "I haven't even kissed you yet and I feel like I might explode if I don't at least do that."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Since we’re discussing <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">terms</span> or whatever,” I said. “What, um… how.” I looked away, biting my lip.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara,” John said gently. “What are you asking me?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What do you, uh, like?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Whatever <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">you</span> like.” His eyes were steady on mine.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">All of my doubts and most of my guilt fled.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"A kiss is a good place to start," I whispered. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">John stood and pulled me to my feet. He held my face between his hands. He softly kissed my upper lip, lower lip, the corners of my mouth. He parted my lips with his thumb on my chin and thrust his tongue in my mouth. I leaned into him with a moan. I could feel his cock press against my lower belly. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Surely some of that is the bathrobe’s belt</span>, I thought.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I broke the kiss and walked backwards away from him. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned and headed for the stairs with John following close behind me. When we reached the stairs, I felt his hands at the hem of my dress. He pulled it up and over my head and tossed it away. His hands were everywhere on my body, stopping us halfway up the stairs to pull me back against him, one his hands roughly fondling my breasts and the other sliding over my hip to stroke a long finger between the lips of my pussy. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“God, I want to fuck you, Clara,” he groaned in my ear.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I would’ve fallen to my knees were it not for him holding me upright. I pulled away and took the rest of the stairs two at a time, John chasing me. He caught me with an arm around my waist when we reached the bedroom, my back to his front, lifting me off my feet, his breath hot on my neck. He <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">was</span> stronger than he looked. His robe was open and I could feel the scrub of the hair on his slightly soft belly against my buttocks. He dipped his hips and slid his cock between my thighs, rubbing its length along my pussy, letting me know that he was big enough to fuck me standing like this. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I reached up, grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged once, hard. John grunted in surprise. I spun away and turned to face him. I covered my mouth with both hands, my eyes wide. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I don’t know why I did that,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He rubbed his scalp where I pulled his hair. He stared at me, smiling slightly, his expression curious, almost calculating, like a man sizing up his opponent in a game that may or may not be friendly. He took off the robe and laid it carefully on the settee at the foot of my bed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Come here," said John. His voice was gentle but it was a command and not a request. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I didn’t move.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He gave me that assessing look again, eyes glittering beneath his lashes. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"Do as you are told," he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">His voice was still low and gentle but his tone was that of someone who is used to having his orders followed. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I suddenly realized that this man was the Doctor.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My eyes flicked down to his cock. He was bigger than Danny. I tried to keep my expression neutral. The Doctor glanced down at himself.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ll make sure you’re ready for me,” he said. “Or, we can stop here, if you like.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Whatever you like. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I stepped forward.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He reached out and ran his fingertips across my collarbone, his eyes following the movement of his hand. Before I could react, he dropped his hand and pinched my nipple. Not too hard, but hard enough that I gasped. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The Doctor <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">tsked</span> apologetically, dipped his head and kissed a circle around my nipple before sucking it gently into his mouth. I shivered, a small whimper escaping my lips.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">"There," he said. "All better."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I reached for him but he moved away and stepped around me. He lay down on the bed. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Come here.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I walked over to the bed and started to climb in.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“No,” said the Doctor. He tapped his lips with a finger. “Up here, darling.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I knelt on the bed with one knee by his shoulder, gripped a rail on the brass bed frame and hesitantly swung my leg over him, carefully straddling his face, holding myself above him, resting my weight on my knees. I’d never felt this physically vulnerable with a man, not even Danny. Being exposed like this was hotly erotic. I looked down at the Doctor. He was gazing at my pussy, his pupils hugely dilated with arousal. All of me was open to him. It felt as if all of the blood in my body rushed to my sex and my clit throbbed once, then again. He hooked his hands on the inside of my knees and spread my thighs wider, lowering me to his mouth. He kissed my pussy the way he kissed my mouth. Soft kisses, licks, gently sucking my labia into his mouth, avoiding my clit, except for a few barely perceptible flicks of his tongue, until I thought I would scream.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Doctor,” I moaned. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hmm?” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Please.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Please what?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Please. Oh, God.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Tell me.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I — I want you to…lick me.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ll need more precise instruction than that, Clara,” he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He twirled his tongue around my clit without touching it. The insides of my thighs trembled and I could feel the fluttery beginnings of an orgasm. It was all I could to to not grind myself down on his face.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“My clit. I need your tongue on my clit,” I panted.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">One strong stroke of his tongue was all it took. I came with a sound that I’d never heard from myself, my hands tight on the brass rail, my back arched. The Doctor held me fast with his hands gripping my hips. He fastened his mouth on me and kept up a gentle, steady suction, the tip of his tongue tracing circles on my throbbing clit.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ah, Doctor. Oh, God. Oh, oh. Oh my God,” I groaned loudly.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And I did grind myself down on his mouth then, wantonly rolling my hips, letting go of the rail with one hand to grab a fistful of his hair. His hands tightened on my hips and he lifted me off face so he could breathe, not stopping what he was doing. I had the longest, most intense orgasm of my life. My clit was still throbbing when I felt him lift me by my hips again and move down his body.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Put my cock inside you,” he said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I reached between our bodies and gripped him. He was hot and heavy in my hand and thick enough that I couldn’t close my fingers around him. I rubbed the head of his cock along the folds of my pussy, wetting it with my juices, then placed it at my entrance. As ready as I was, I knew that his size meant that I couldn’t take him all at once. I whimpered in frustration.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Okay. Shh, darling. Let me,” he whispered.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He shifted his hips and pressed against me, withdrawing then pressing again until just the head of his cock was inside me. He pulled out then pushed in again, ever so slowly going deeper with each stroke. He stopped, holding me still with his hands on my waist.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Don’t move,” he said, breathing carefully through his nose. “How does it feel? Any pain?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Only the good kind,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He pulled me down into a long, slow kiss. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re so tight,” he murmured, nuzzling my ear. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I gave him a tiny squeeze with my vaginal muscles. I felt him smile against my neck.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Naughty girl,” he chuckled. He pulled back and looked at me. His face was flushed, his eyes heavy-lidded. “Stay just like this. Let me do the work. I’ll be as gentle as I can. Is that okay?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes,” I said breathlessly.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He started with long, slow strokes, his hands roaming my body. He sat up with me straddling his lap, gathered my breasts in his hands and sucked my nipples hard. I buried my fingers in his hair and held him to me. His strokes became thrusts, harder and faster but I could tell that he was holding himself back. I bent my head and pressed my lips to his ear.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Fuck me, Doctor,” I breathed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He flipped me over unto my back and and spread my thighs with his knee. He lifted my leg, pushed my knee to my chest then drove his cock into my pussy. He paused, eyes closed, jaw clenched. I could see his pulse strong in his neck and fancied that I could hear his heart beating. I brought my other leg up and hooked it around his waist. I arched my back and slowly pumped my hips up and down, stroking him, clenching and releasing my muscles around his cock. He looked down between our bodies and watched himself slide in and out of me. A moan rumbled from deep in his chest.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re going to make me come, Clara,” he groaned.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I want to hear the sounds you make when you come. I want to see your face,” I whispered. “And don’t hold back. <span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">That’s</span> what I like.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He pressed me down into the mattress. Not only was he stronger than he looked, he was heavier. I had no idea how much I missed the feel of man on top of me. I ran my hands down his body, feeling the muscles shift in his back. His ass was tight and hard. I squeezed and held on, matching him thrust for thrust until I couldn’t keep up. I writhed beneath him, panting and sucking and biting his neck and anywhere else I could reach with my mouth. I raked my nails across his skin. I whispered filthy things in his ear, telling him what I wanted him to do to me and what I wanted to do to him. He groaned and pounded me harder. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh, God. Doctor.” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Clara. Clara. I’m going to come. Ah, fuck!”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I could feel his cock swell, stretching me to my limit. I gripped double handfuls of his hair and pulled his head back so I could see his face. He shuddered and cried out, his hips tight against mine. I felt his cock pulse strongly inside me and I came with a soft gasp. The Doctor’s eyes were closed, his lashes resting on his cheeks. His lips were parted, his expression soft and vulnerable. I leaned up and kissed his mouth. He pressed his forehead against mine.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Hmm,” he sighed, nuzzling my nose. “Did I hurt you?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Not at all,” I said, even though I knew that we were both going to have marks and bruises in the morning.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He rolled over onto his back, taking me with him. I lay my cheek on his chest. His heart was beating fast in a strange, irregular rhythm. I shifted my hips and his cock slid out of me in a warm rush of fluids. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Ahh. Oh my God,” he gasped, laughing. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“That was amazing,” I said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You’re amazing,” he said kissing the top of my head.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard a soft ping from my phone on the bedside table. I groaned in dismay.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“What is it,” asked John.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’ve got to give Motley is medication and then let him out in the garden. It takes him forever, even when it’s not raining.” I kissed John’s chest. “I’m sorry.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Don’t be. I should probably go home. I’ve got workers coming in early.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Don’t move,” I said, getting up.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes, boss.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I padded into my in suite and ran a flannel under a warm tap. I brought it back to the bed and handed it to John. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Oh, thank you,” he said, his face pink.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“<span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;">Now</span>, you’re embarrassed,” I laughed.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I know. It’s silly, isn’t it?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“You okay,” I asked.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Better than okay,” he said. “Are you okay?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Yes, actually.” I smiled at his earnest expression as he carefully cleaned himself off. “Your clothes are probably hopelessly wrinkled in the dryer. Come down when you’re ready.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I went downstairs, hobbling a little. I was going to feel it tomorrow. I retrieved my shift and pulled it on. I went down into the basement to retrieve John’s clothes. Back in my kitchen, I prepared Motley’s pill then let him out into the garden. He looked at me, looked out at the rain, grunted then trundled out the sliding door. I stood just inside watching him go to one bush, lift his leg, not pee, then go on to the next bush to repeat the cycle. He looked back at me and I pointed sternly at the next bush. He huffed and ambled on. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I turned and saw John in my kitchen. He had his pants on but was shirtless and barefoot. He had my phone in his hand. His hair was adorably tousled and his lashes made shadows on his cheeks. I don’t know why I ever thought he looked old. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I’m sending myself a text so that you’ll have my number,” he said. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Okay,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Call me or text me anytime. I don’t mind late-night phone calls.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Neither do I,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He handed me my phone and pulled his tee shirt over his head. He stuffed his socks into his pockets and slipped his feet into his boots, leaving his boots untied.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“If I don’t stand here and watch, Motley will fake pee then wake me in an hour to go out again,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s okay. I’ve only got two minutes before my house automatically locks again.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We stood gazing at each other.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Go on, then,” I said.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He leaned down and gave a lingering kiss.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I watched him walk away then heard my front door close. I turned back to watch Motley creak around in the soft drizzle. My phone vibrated in my hand. I looked at it. It was a text from John.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">See you tomorrow, Clara Oswald. xo — The Doctor.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Motley came back in and I gave him his pill. I went back upstairs and crawled into bed. I could smell the Doctor in my sheets. I smiled. I picked up my phone and began thumbing a text.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">I don’t want to wash you off of my body — Clara</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">…. …</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Same. You really beat me up. I have marks everywhere. This one is going to be a beauty in the morning.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">He sent a picture of a heart-shaped love bite on his collarbone.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;">… …</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Something to remember me by </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">…. …</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Do I need to come back over there, missy? </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">…. …</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Go to sleep, Doctor. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">…. …</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-ItalicMT" style="font-size: medium; font-style: italic;">Goodnight, darling.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT" style="font-size: medium; font-weight: bold;">xxxXXXxxx</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13.8px;"><span face="TimesNewRomanPS-BoldMT"><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Next up: The Widow, the Magician, and the Big, Blue Bo</span><span style="font-size: 12px;">x</span></b></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-51418244176004642872022-03-26T17:27:00.003-07:002022-03-26T17:27:54.774-07:00Happy 91st Birthday<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTWdoVH6mBzY_j9AzGvgsIvtRnUzNMf0QBISbwryIdIAB0fH14rtx9z1Ift-fRdGKQvXz5X354MovSe-Q2dJ78nTHFwUOn5HqOUmcsA9V4K4rnsbvy5tQ0LqWwpSTFhs1R0Uw8mw62auFD_sgUmDY468j7bioWaQOnrLdyP7P3KjUdMQmbZks/s893/C48C322C-F08D-48D5-9498-B0DD2EEB2226.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="893" data-original-width="720" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTWdoVH6mBzY_j9AzGvgsIvtRnUzNMf0QBISbwryIdIAB0fH14rtx9z1Ift-fRdGKQvXz5X354MovSe-Q2dJ78nTHFwUOn5HqOUmcsA9V4K4rnsbvy5tQ0LqWwpSTFhs1R0Uw8mw62auFD_sgUmDY468j7bioWaQOnrLdyP7P3KjUdMQmbZks/w323-h400/C48C322C-F08D-48D5-9498-B0DD2EEB2226.jpeg" width="323" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-45040977666183791352022-01-01T13:13:00.006-08:002022-01-02T12:48:05.642-08:00The Wind in His Clothes — A Doctor Who Story (Part One)<p><br /></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgfgFX6B77qf0dHPKpa71djP48wj2JUkKBKOTNX0friNZhM_Ev5E_lwOCPsohGstvpkZE-cFkYsPVZayWDF5qfrVEQyHcM3F4Xx-mSslH7_QH2OW_SFBYVCGpFdnIGjvQ2hMFuKmnFNEDKI5ht9HQD5WRTk1XGS-TZYXcdCj0PD3yAZ4RuUwjQ=s3898" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3139" data-original-width="3898" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgfgFX6B77qf0dHPKpa71djP48wj2JUkKBKOTNX0friNZhM_Ev5E_lwOCPsohGstvpkZE-cFkYsPVZayWDF5qfrVEQyHcM3F4Xx-mSslH7_QH2OW_SFBYVCGpFdnIGjvQ2hMFuKmnFNEDKI5ht9HQD5WRTk1XGS-TZYXcdCj0PD3yAZ4RuUwjQ=w400-h323" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Summary</b>: If someone’s gone, do pictures really help? </span></p><br /><br /><span style="font-family: times;"><i>I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you/that I almost believe that they’re real </i> —<b> The Cure</b><br /><br /><br /><i>I always liked it slow</i> — <b>Leonard Cohen</b></span><br /><br /><br /> <p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">~~ <b>Chapter One</b></span><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor swore to himself that all he was going to do was take a few pictures, that he was simply repaying a kindness to a young woman who couldn’t bear the thought of him alone on Christmas Eve. He would nip back to 1990, spend a couple of days taking pictures, maybe catch a Bowie concert. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">And there was that other thing that needed doing, now that he thought of it, that was probably best sorted in the past, where there were fewer…complications.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">xxxXXXxxx</span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> ~<u>St. Luke’s University, Spring Term, 2016</u></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">A</span><span lang="DA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">fter </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">seventy years, the sea of faces in the vast lecture hall had become an ocean of faces, all laughably young and all starting to look alike. It wasn’t that the Doctor had <i>not</i> noticed a specific face now and again. It was a vexing feature of this body, that a pretty face could so easily turn his head. He had ignored this feature for the most part, so it startled him when, mid-lecture, his gaze suddenly focused on one face. The girl zoomed into his field of view as if he</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">d adjusted a telescope, the rest of the world receding. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">His voice had stuttered to a stop. She stared expectantly at him, smiling, her face seeming to shimmer briefly with golden light.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor coughed into his fist, cleared his throat and went on with his lecture, his eyes flickering to her repeatedly as he rhapsodized about the ridiculousness of string theory, showing off, just a little, for her. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She was very pretty.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“<i>Ever fancied someone you knew you shouldn’t?” </i>whispered the voice of Amy Pond.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He dismissed the thought. This was not <i>that</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He glanced again at the pretty face, with its expressive brows and large eyes that sparkled with intelligence and curiosity. He watched her as she filed out with the rest of the students. While the others had laptops and tablets, she held a battered spiral notebook clutched to her narrow chest. There was something familiar about her: the gangly limbs, the mass of hair with a mind of its own, an aura of aloneness. He recognized her — from where, he did not know.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor turned and frowned at the group of whispering graduate assistants assigned to him. Why were there so many? The university kept assigning them; the Doctor kept ignoring them. Perhaps now they could prove themselves useful. He pointed to one and waved him over.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Useless Minion, find the young woman sitting in seat 23 G.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Useless Minion grinned. “The pretty one with the —.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Stop. Talking. Now.” said the Doctor, dusting chalk from his fingers with a rag, his voice low and conversational. “Find her and give her this.” He handed Useless Minion a slip of paper. The Doctor bent forward a bit, looking down at the boy. “And if you say anything to her beyond <i>this is from the Doctor</i>, I will know and I will not be happy,” he said, then smiled with a brief flash of teeth. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Useless Minion took a stumbling, wide-eyed step back, turned and fled. The Doctor gazed at the rest of the graduate assistants without blinking until they departed dejectedly, walking out in a line, like sad ducklings.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor hopped off the stage and climbed the stairs to row G. He sidestepped down the row until he got to seat 23 and sat down. It was still faintly warm from her body. He was a rubbish telepath, but a person’s thoughts were simply electrical impulses and chemical reactions. For such an hilariously tiny-brained species, humans leaked massive clouds of chemicals and charged particles, both of which left a temporary signature. He could sometimes “read” these signatures in a recently vacated space. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor planted his elbows on the armrests of seat G 23, closed his eyes and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. He emptied his mind and braced himself for what he knew he was going to pick up from his other students: crude speculation about the bulge in his trousers, did he sleep nude or did he prefer women or men or both and —.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Fucking hell, were they even listening to his lectures? </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He breathed slowly, concentrating, sifting, filtering out the interference. He could sense the girl, but she was just out of reach. He sighed and opened his eyes. He drummed his fingers on the armrests.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Okay, Fate. We have a thing, you and I,” he murmured. “What have you brought me, this time?”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">~~Chapter 2</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor entered the Tardis that evening and leaned back against the doors. He inhaled deeply, letting his mind quiet. There was slightly more nitrogen inside the Tardis than outside, making the oxygen exchange in his blood slightly more efficient. His lungs expanded and his muscles settled more comfortably against his bones. He pushed off from the doors, rolling his neck, stretching the kinks out of his shoulders.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis greeted him with a gentle wheeze. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hello, darling,” said the Doctor.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He took off his coat and laid it neatly on the stair rail. He walked to the console, thought for a moment then typed briefly at a keyboard. He pulled the monitor down to read the results of his query. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis grumbled faintly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Yes, yes,” said the Doctor. “Just answer the question, please.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There was a series of whirrs and beeps as the Tardis shuffled through the facial recognition program. With a soft ping, the image of a university employee key card embossed with a photo of the girl in seat 23 G appeared on the screen, a short paragraph of text alongside. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hello, Bill Potts,” said the Doctor. “Who are you?” he said, reading the text quickly. “Height, weight, hair and eye color, blah blah blah. Twenty-five years old, tiny bank balance. Maxed-out library card. Well done on those A-levels. Impressive MAT. Those Oxbridge pudding brains should’ve all been fighting over you. So why are you here at St. Luke’s, <i>not</i> a student, working in the canteen?” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis shrugged with a flicker of the lights. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Is there anything else? Social media? NHS records?” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis complied with a pouty thump that the Doctor ignored.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Bill’s social media presence was a sparse Facebook page and a few comments on a Spotify account.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Show me everything else,” said the Doctor.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The monitor screen went blank. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor frowned. “What is it?” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There was a long pause then another faint grumble.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Do as you are told,” he said, quietly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">An image winked on the monitor. It was Bill’s birth certificate. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She’d been born prematurely and discharged from hospital nearly a month after her birth. Her mother’s name was Johanna Potts. The space for the father’s name was empty<i>.</i> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Tell me about the mother.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">A death certificate replaced the birth certificate on the monitor. Johanna Potts had been removed from life support two days after Bill’s birth. The cause of death was subarachnoid hemorrhage. She’d had a stroke during childbirth due to sudden onset pre-eclampsia. Address in East London. Occupation was entered as “Art Therapist”. Her parents were listed as deceased. “Billie Holiday Potts, daughter” was entered as next of kin. Johanna’s school records showed a student near the top of her class throughout, both at Coal Hill and St. Luke’s. MSc in clinical psychology and MA in art history at St. Luke’s.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Huh,” said the Doctor. Coal Hill <i>and </i>St. Luke’s. “Coincidence is just Fate telling you to pay attention.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There was a faint <i>gong</i> from deep within the Tardis, as if someone or something had brushed lightly against a Cloister Bell in warning.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I hear you,” murmured the Doctor. “Show me the rest.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">A two-line death notice from a local paper winked on the screen: “Johanna ‘Joh’ Potts, aged 26, died on 31 July, 1991. She is survived by her baby daughter.” There was no photo.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor pushed the monitor to the side. He shoved his hands into his pockets and paced a slow lap around the console. It’d been a while since he’d taken special interest in a student. Though, Miss Potts wasn’t a student, was she? Truth be told, it’d been a while since he’d taken an interest in <i>anybody,</i> once he had Missy locked in the vault. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>I’m tired of losing people</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He knew that his memory had been wiped. And he knew that it was from a neural block device that could only be manufactured on Gallifrey. The Tardis was able to tell him that much. But the Tardis couldn’t — or wouldn’t — tell him why.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He believed that one could recreate a thing that is missing by examining the hole that it left, but the memory loss was profound and effected his entire timeline. He tried everything he knew to retrieve the memories but all that was there were whispered thoughts, little eye blinks of fragmented images and that vast, empty space. He only knew that the empty space had something to do with a woman named Clara. They had traveled together, he knew. They’d been on Gallifrey. She’d barked an order at Ohila of Karn and a Time Lord General. They had both obeyed with bowed heads. Only another Time Lord as powerful as he would elicit that kind of reaction. But Clara wasn’t a Time Lord. That, he was sure of.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There were a few detailed memory lanes that led to abrupt dead ends — things he was meant to remember but had got caught in the neural block anyway. It was as if someone had grasped a plant with a deep taproot and yanked it from the ground, pulling some peripheral roots along with it and leaving others detached and broken in the dirt. He’d spent a short time racing through time, chasing after those memories in a fruitless attempt to fill in some of that blank space. He even tried going back to Kantrofarr, the planet of the Dream Crabs, but the Tardis refused to take him there. UNIT had started the countdown to fry their entire mainframe when he’d asked them about Clara. Torchwood sent him an email that said, in effect, that he could go fuck himself. All of this apparently was per the Doctor’s orders.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">After he’d been called to execute Missy, he asked her about Clara, for at least a story. <i>Anything</i>. She had gazed at him for a long moment.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You told me to run, once,” she said, finally. “I had done...a very, very bad thing. The worst, I think.” Missy reached up and brushed a thick curl off his forehead then stroked her fingertips lightly across his brow. “And you let me go, even though you and I both know that there is nowhere in the universe that I could hide where you couldn’t find me. If you <i>wanted</i> to find me, that is.” She tried to smile but it was tremulous. Her eyes filled but no tears spilled over. She pressed her palm to his cheek. “You were the angriest I’d ever seen you. <i>Ever. </i>And still, you let me go.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He moved to take her hand, but she snatched it away and took a step back, her eyes wide. The Doctor stared at her in confusion.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You — you’re <i>afraid</i> of me,” he said. “When did you start to fear <i>me</i>? I just saved you, Missy.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You only saved me because you don’t know what I’ve done,” she whispered. “If you knew, you would kill me.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Never.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Yes, my beloved, you would. You were always more dangerous than I ever was. And in the two seconds before you did kill me, you’d hate me. To —.” Her voice hitched. “To endure those two seconds would be a fate far worse than death.” She tried to smile again. “So. You put me in that vault, now. You <i>guard</i> my body, darling.” She winked saucily but it only caused a tear to roll down her cheek. “After we have lived every minute of a thousand years, I will tell you. If you still want to know.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">One thing he did know about Clara was that he’d waited too long. Left things unsaid, and things undone. It’d been his <i>modus operandi</i> for over two thousand years. He’d not make that mistake again. There’d be no more running. He’d placed the hair tie he found in a drawer into a small wooden box, carefully tucked in the one strand of straight brown hair caught in the elastic, locked the box and hid the key.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">And so he had lived, every minute of the past seventy years in a one-thousand-year purgatory of his own making, without time travel, without adventure, without mystery. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Then one day, Billie Holiday Potts sat down in seat 23 G and smiled. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He stopped in front of the monitor and re-read Joh Potts’ death certificate. A feeling of familiarity suddenly swept over him again. The Gallifreyan word for that feeling was <i>centerinian-kai</i>. It roughly translated into “future history” or “remembering in the wrong order”. Something that hadn’t happened yet but had happened before. Something <i>waiting</i> to become a memory. He’d been experiencing <i>centerinian-kai </i>a lot of late, but chalked it up to side effects of the neural block: a head resting on his chest, an arm around his waist, a hand in his, Johnny Hartman singing softly in the background </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>The unreal from the real thing ... is hard to know</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hmm,” said the Doctor. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis had no comment.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">xxxXXXxxx</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He paced the console room again, tired but restless. He’d finished marking his students’ uninspiring papers and had checked the vault in the basement. Missy wasn’t talking to him for some reason but he didn’t have the energy to try to engage her. He wanted to get in some hours of guitar practice but his hearts weren’t in it that night. He couldn</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">t tell if he was hungry or bored. He yawned. He</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">d been surviving on catnaps for over a month for no other reason than that he didn</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">t really want to sleep. Sleep meant dreaming and even in his dreams, the memory block persisted, manifesting sometimes as a terrifying black hole. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He thought about going for a run inside the Tardis. The Tardis would create hostile terrain, burning cities and the corridors of alien ships for him. He did this not just for the exercise but because the running and jumping and climbing recalled <i>feelings</i>, if not actual memories. The Tardis even created monsters that chased him and caught him and that he had to fight, some with real claws and teeth. The fighting burned through the grief and the rage he’d felt in place of his missing memories. He would emerge from these fights slashed and battered, wild-eyed and roaring with bloodlust, his cock hard as azbantium. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">You were always more dangerous than I ever was</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He’d stride down the Tardis corridors after these runs, dripping blood, punching walls and shedding clothes on his way to the bath. He’d stand under a freezing, high-pressure shower, chest heaving and teeth clenched until his anger left him and his erection subsided. He’d turn the water to hot and collapse to the floor, his mind empty at last. He could sleep without dreaming then, because worse than the black hole, were the times he’d awaken in the dark, his pillow wet with his tears, an unbearable ache in his hearts that snatched the breath from his lungs. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">So, he ran and he raged and he fought all the monsters the Tardis could throw at him until the pain in his hearts felt less like the grinding ends of a broken bone and more like the tenderness of a healing bruise. He could stand at the edge of the black hole in his dreams and gaze into its growling nothingness with something like scientific detachment. He</span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">d initially resisted this tempering of his pain. It was the one link he had left to whatever was in those memories. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Deep within him he knew that those memories were best left lost to oblivion, but he never ceased his endless calculations on blackboards, scraps of paper, any flat surface that he could mark with chalk or pencil or even a stick in the sand, searching for the thing that was forever not there. He told himself that it was just habit, idle doodling, the fidget of his hyperactive mind that would either find him the coordinates of Gallifrey or</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>Clara</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He taught his classes. He watched over Missy. He tinkered with the Tardis and Nardole’s cybernetics. He played his guitar. He painted and read books and mostly kept his promises, and himself to himself. The world began to fill in with color again. Life was…better.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He moved on.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There was, however, the on-going issue of his untended cock and his subsequent aching balls. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">~~Chapter 3</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor had mostly ignored his sexual needs for the past seventy years. It was the longest he’d ever been voluntarily celibate. There was never a lack of willing partners, especially after he’d started playing music at local clubs. It wasn’t that he <i>couldn’t </i>he just...<i>didn’t</i>. He could not even remember the last time he masturbated. He did remember that it left him feeling unsatisfied and lonely and a little faithless. Even the rare sticky dream he had left him with the feeling that he’d betrayed someone, as if he’d been unfaithful to a ghost. He thought about teaching himself to wake before ejaculating but then thought he might do himself some sort of damage if he didn’t at least have the release of the occasional nocturnal emission.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“My poor bollocks,” he mumbled.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He climbed the stairs to the catwalk and poured two fingers of bourbon from the decanter he kept in a rondel cubby. He hid the good stuff up here, where River never found it. He didn’t get intoxicated in the traditional sense. Ethanol both relaxed him and heightened his senses. Plus, he liked the taste. A wood fire in a glass. Whiskey was one thing Americans did well — besides dentistry and blowing things up. He downed it in one gulp, enjoying the burn. He poured another.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He stood in front of a bookshelf, trying to focus on the book titles, refusing to admit to himself that he needed a wank, then comforted himself with the thought that if he actually succumbed to the temptation, he could blame it on the bourbon. He could already feel warmth pooling in his genitals.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“What is a Johanna Joh Potts,” asked Nardole.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor jumped, sloshing whiskey out of his glass, soaking his shirt cuff and splashing a pant leg.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Ah! <i>Fuck</i> me, Nardole,” he yelled. “Will you <i>stop</i> doing that.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Language,” replied Nardole.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Shit,” hissed the Doctor, shaking his wet hand. “You’re like a ghost in a Japanese horror movie. Are you here to punish me for something? Will there be a redemption arc?”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“A ghost. I like that,” huffed Nardole, rolling his eyes. He pointed to the monitor. “You didn’t answer my question. What — <i>who</i>is Johanna Joh Potts?”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“None of your concern,” said the Doctor, setting down his now empty glass. He unbuttoned his cuffs as he came down the stairs. He undid the top two buttons of his shirt then impatiently pulled it over his head, throwing it to the floor in frustration.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’ve seen your browser history.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Get out.” The Doctor glared down at Nardole. “I don’t need your judgements tonight.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“What you need is a girlfriend. Or a mutually beneficial friendship, as the kids are calling it these days. A proper seeing-to, that’s what you <i>need</i>, Doctor.” said Nardole. He gestured at the Doctor’s bare torso. “All that running, jumping, climbing, fighting holographic monsters has got you in more than fair form for an old man.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“So you know that a punch to the face is not off the table.” </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Dye your roots and... well, you could probably pull —.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“To clarify, that would be <i>me</i> punching <i>you</i>.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’m just making a suggestion — a suggestion that I think you’re protesting too much, by the way. Might make you less grumpy,” Nardole said, raising his non-existent brows.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms and ran the fingers of both hands through his hair. He sighed heavily. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Do fuck off, Nardole,” he said. “Please.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Humph. Since you said <i>please</i> I’ll leave you to whatever it is you’re doing in here. Be nice to get a <i>thank you</i> once in a while, too.” Nardole bent down and retrieved the Doctor’s soiled shirt. He walked up the steps to the door, grumbling and clucking. “I didn’t ask to be reassembled, did I? You better have a wash as well, unless you want to walk around smelling like a distillery,” he said over his shoulder, before slamming the door behind him.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis dimmed the lights.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Seriously,” said the Doctor, exasperated. “You, too?”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The air warmed slightly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“For fuck’s sake.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">XXXxxxXXX</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor stood in the shower with his head down, letting the water pound his back and shoulders from three different directions. He tilted his head back and groaned aloud, his eyelids fluttering with pleasure as the spray massaged his scalp. Why had he denied himself at least this pleasure? He’d been living like an ascetic. Worse, like a man doing penance. Penance for what? He tensed, then forced himself to relax. No need to think about that now.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">After his shower, the Doctor looked himself over in his full-length mirror. He hadn’t realized how much he had avoided really looking at his own reflection these long years. Even when shaving, he focused on the task, checking only for missed spots. Now was as good a time as any to take inventory. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He examined his face. Square jaw, Roman nose, everything mostly symmetrical. The lightness of his eyes startled him. He’d had dark eyes for so many centuries, he’d almost forgotten what he had now. The jury was still out as to their exact color — blue, grey, green. Perhaps all three? Someone he could not remember had called him the boy with kaleidoscope eyes. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The thickness of his brows was likely an over-compensation for the previous ones. As were the long eyelashes, for that matter.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">His hair had always been his one slight concession to vanity. Even when it was cropped short, there was usually a lot of it. He told himself that he couldn’t be arsed to go to the barber regularly, but now he thought he remembered that someone, perhaps that same someone who liked his eyes, also liked his hair grown long enough for it to go a little wild. He imagined he could feel a small hand running fingers through it, blunt nails raking deliciously along his scalp. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He stepped back and looked at his body, turning this way and that. Nardole was right. The running and jumping and climbing kept him well. He was lean but still substantial. His abdomen was flat. His bum was nice. His arms and legs and shoulders curved faintly with muscle that one could only really see when he moved — which he didn’t mind. He was happy to <i>be</i> stronger than he <i>looked</i>. He was dusted lightly on his chest and belly with silver hair that thickened and darkened in a line beneath his navel. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He glanced at his cock. It had, historically, always gotten rave reviews. And all of him, face to feet, pale as milk.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Okay,” he said. “Not terrible.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Tardis hooted quietly in agreement.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He left the bath wearing a thick robe that was made for a body three inches taller and thirty pounds heavier than the one he had now. It was one of his favorite articles of clothing. He liked to leave it untied so that it swept the floor in a heavy train behind him. It made him feel like Richard the Lionheart — who, incidentally, had fancied him.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor walked into his bedroom and dropped into a chair by the fireplace. He let the robe fall open so that he could feel the heat of the flames on his bare skin. On a side table next to his chair was a plate of chocolate biscuits, a decanter of bourbon and a glass. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Cheers, Nardole,” he said softly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He lifted the decanter to pour himself a drink and saw that there was also a tube of slick resting atop a neatly folded flannel. He stared at it for a moment, blinking. He poured bourbon into his glass, carefully placed the decanter back on the tray then slumped back into his chair. He took a sip and eyed the tube over the rim of his glass. The Doctor chuckled, shaking his head. He put down his glass and picked up the tube, twisting off the tiny cap and puncturing the seal. A clear, gelatinous sphere oozed out of the opening. He squinted one eye and peered through the sphere, watching flames dance in a miniaturized fireplace. He pondered the properties of the surface tension of viscous fluids. He touched a fingertip to the sphere, dislodging it from the tube’s opening. It landed in a soft plop at the base of his penis, immediately warming to his body temperature. He squeezed more of the lubricant onto the flat of his fingers, rubbing his thumb across them. He sniffed his fingers, noting that the faint floral sent did not quite mask the plasticky odor of its silicone base. But it was pleasant enough.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Time Lords,” the Doctor murmured. “Masters of trans-dimensional technology but, in 6 billion years of chafing, we never thought to invent lube.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He squeezed more of the slick into his palm then set the tube aside. He ran his palm under and over his shaft, relaxing back into his chair with a deep sigh through his nose. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He ...</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> ...remembered tumbling through the Tardis doors and down the stairs with Clara, landing on the console room deck, the two of them covered in stinking mud. Clara rolled off him, flung herself back up the stairs, and pulled the doors closed. She leaped back over him and ran around the console, slamming controls into place. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Vortex,” he rasped. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I know,” shouted Clara.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">There was a massive gash in his upper thigh, deep and wide enough that he could see tendons and muscle flexing against the bone. He wished he hadn’t looked because it didn’t hurt until he did. As he watched, the pin hole in his femoral artery widened and blood geysered in time with the beat of his hearts. A single peal of the Cloister bell shuddered sadly through the Tardis, the signal that he was injured beyond what she could do for him.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He cried out in pain and frustration. He felt small hands frantically searching in his coat pockets and patting down his waistcoat. His vision began to narrow and glow around the edges with golden light.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Where is it?” screamed Clara.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He flailed at her feebly. “No.” He tried to roll away from her.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Doctor!”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“No...last one...for you...I can...regenerate...”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You are not leaving me.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I...I...will...regenerate...”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“No! You, </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">this<i> you.” She found what she was looking for in his coat pocket. She gripped it tightly in her hands. “You. Are. Not —.”</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Clara...please...”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“ —Leaving. Me.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She twisted her hands and pulled. The metal vial she held opened with a quiet hiss. Chula nanogenes flowed from the vial, pulsed briefly with white light then streamed toward his wound. He fell back with a groan with the almost instant relief from most of the pain. Clara looked frantically from his wound to his face and back again. The hole in his artery closed like a film running backwards. Blood bubbled from the wound as the nanogenes began reconnecting tissue and sealing it from the bone up, through muscle, fat and skin. She looked at his face and saw the regeneration energy dissipate. He was watching her with half-closed eyes. Nanogenes haloed her head, stitching closed a gash at her hairline. There was a scrape on her chin but the nanogenes seemed content to leave it be. They were already starting to self-destruct in the air between them in tiny explosions of fairy dust.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You’re alive,” Clara whispered. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He reached down and felt the place where his leg had been sliced open. There was only a inflamed red scar, barely a millimeter wide. He winced as a fractured rib knitted back into place. He was starting to feel the other effects of the nanogenes in his blood — dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins — painkillers naturally manufactured by his body, their production increased by the nanogenes. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“That was my last vial of nanogenes,” he croaked.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Good thing you had one left or you’d be dead.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I was saving it for an... emergency.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“And here we are.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“My death is not an emergency, Clara.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“It is to me,” Clara shouted. “I don’t care who comes next. You’re the one I need. The one --.” She swallowed a sob. “The one I </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">want<i>.”</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He gazed into her eyes.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> He reached up and tucked a strand of muddy hair behind her ear.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Ok, boss,” he said, quietly. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">At that, Clara seemed to deflate, and she collapsed onto him. He stifled a grunt of pain from his still-sore ribs and lightly enfolded her in his arms. Clara was right. He could’ve died. She could’ve died. And she would’ve died never knowing how he felt because he was a coward. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Not telling her was not only cowardly, it was also cruel. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She gripped the lapels of his coat, burying her face in his chest. He felt one of her thighs settle between his. He shifted minutely and felt a tremor run through her. Beneath the odor of mud and shit and blood, he could smell her uniquely Clara smell: lilac hand cream and ... woman. He patted her back and held out a hand.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Help an old man to his feet,” he said.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You’re not old.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She stood and hauled him up, turning to support with her arm around his waist.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Can you walk?” she asked.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Give me a moment,” he said. He leaned heavily against her, panting.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She gagged, coughing. “Dear God. I’m giving you a good scrub.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I think I can manage that on my own.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’m not escaping from a planet of evil, sentient tumbleweeds just to have you pass out in the shower and crack your idiot head open,” said Clara.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I swear that they were stationary shrubs, last time I was there. Shrubs as far as you could see. There was no tumbling. No claws and fangs. No shit and mud. A lovely place for a picnic.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“A lovely place for a picnic. Famous last words. We have the worst luck with gardens.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She took his hand and draped his arm across her shoulder. Clara steered him gently from the console room, down a corridor to his bedroom and into the attached bath. She leaned him carefully against the wall and knelt to unlace his boots. She rose and tugged his coat off his shoulders.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Seriously, Clara. I don’t need any help.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“We have seen each other naked before. In church, no less.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“That was different. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">I<i> was different. I was...young.”</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Yes. Yes, you were. You were also bow-legged and hairless and couldn’t punch your way out of a paper bag. Now...”. She flung his filthy coat away with a grimace. “Well, now you’re —.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Old.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She pulled his ragged jumper over his head, taking his two t-shirts with it. She leaned back and looked him over. “Older, yeah. But mostly...different,” she said. She pulled her jumper over her head and peeled off her skirt and tights, kicking them away. She unhooked her bra and let it fall off her shoulders. She looked down at his trousers with raised brows.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I can do it,” he grumbled. He turned his back and removed the rest of his clothing. He faced her, cupping his hands over his privates. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’ve seen your penis before,” she said.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Not this one.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara rolled her eyes and pointed to the shower. “Warm, very warm or hot?”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hot,” he said. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She tapped a pad on the wall and water instantly came from every direction. “Thank God. Danny liked lukewarm and I hated it.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Can we just get on with it,” he snapped. He pushed her into the tornado of steaming water and stepped in behind her.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">They both sighed with pleasure as water beat against them from every direction, the mud and blood dissolving from their skin. Clara grabbed a rough sponge from a shelf and squirted soap on it.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Turn around,” she said. “I’ll get your back.” She glanced down at him. “Or your front, because,” she blew air from pursed lips. “Well done.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Shut up,” he said, turning his back.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara gasped. “You have a massive bruise covering half your back,” she exclaimed.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“That’s what happens when you get body-slammed by a vicious tumbleweed.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara was silent for so long that he turned to look at her. She stood there with the dripping sponge in her hand, hair plastered to her head, chin trembling, her dark eyes spilling tears. He froze for a moment, blinking. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Clara?” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Despite the heat of the shower, her face was pale and her lips were tinged blue. She was shivering. This was his fault. Clara was strong but she wasn’t unbreakable.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Let me be brave,” he thought, then gathered her in his arms. She sagged against him. He didn’t have the strength yet to hold them both upright, so he sank to the floor and cradled her. She turned her face into his neck and cried silently, her tiny body shaking.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Okay. Okay. It just the adrenaline crash. Shh. I know,” he whispered, rocking her a bit. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He let her cry until her body hitched with only the occasional sob. He wanted to kiss away every tear, every bruise, but he thought that this was not the time, so soon after near-death. He gave her soft pat on her back.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’d scoop you up and carry you to bed but I’ll probably slip, fall over and break both our idiot heads,” he said. “Let’s finish up here before we turn into prunes. We both need fluids and rest,” he said. He stood wearily and held out his hand to her.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’m supposed to be helping </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">you<i>,” Clara said.</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“You </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">are<i> helping me, Clara.” </i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He took the soapy sponge she still held and began to wash the rest of the grime from her skin. He worked his way carefully down her body, working the sponge in a gentle but firm circular motion across her skin. He knelt to wash her legs, his eyes lingering briefly on her hairless sex. He turned her with his fingertips on her hip, working his way back up her body. He handed her the sponge then presented his back to her. He sighed and bowed his head as she bathed him, tensing briefly when she reached around his waist and the sponge stroked across his lower belly. He let his erection happen, too tired and too sore to care. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">They reluctantly exited the shower and put on the heavy bathrobes that the Tardis thoughtfully warmed for them. They made a detour to the infirmary where the Doctor made Clara drink a small glass of a thick blue liquid. He poured himself a large glass of a thick pink liquid.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“What’s this,” Clara asked.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Glucose, electrolytes, an antiviral to protect against evil shrub space rabies,” said the Doctor. He held up his own glass. “Same for me, plus blood expander. And a bit of painkiller.” He drank it down in three gulps, shuddering slightly. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara sipped from her glass. “Ugh. Tastes like cough syrup.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hold your breath and knock it back like a shot of vodka,” he said.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara did as she was told, grimacing and blinking watering eyes. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“See? That wasn’t so bad.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara poked a blue tongue out at him.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">They walked listlessly down the corridor towards their bedrooms. He stopped in his bedroom doorway. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’m not ready to be alone,” she said, pushing past him. “I’m sleeping with you tonight. Not taking no for an answer.” She looked back at him. “Key word being sleep.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Don’t flatter yourself, darling,” he chuckled. “I’m dead tired.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She grinned and sat on the edge of the bed. “Not all of you,” she said. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He looked down at himself. His erect cock tented his robe. “Side effect from the blood expander,” he said.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Ouch. My ego,” said Clara. She flopped back on the bed with her arms flung wide. She rubbed her palms on the lush duvet. “Do all Time Lords sleep in beds the size of a football pitch?”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He grunted and walked over to a small table by the fireplace. He poured himself a whiskey from the tray set there. He held up the decanter. “Want one?” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She heaved herself upright. “I’ll have a sip of yours just to wash the taste of that blue stuff from my mouth.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He handed her the glass. She took a sip and made a face. “Now my mouth tastes like whiskey and blue stuff.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She stood and removed her robe, dropping it to the floor. She pulled back the duvet and slipped underneath with a tired sigh. She closed her eyes then opened them, looking at the Doctor. He drained his glass and set it on the bedside table. The air cooled and the lights dimmed. He snapped his fingers and a fire sprang to life in the fireplace. He frowned at her robe on the floor then let his fall on top of it with a shrug. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“My poor Doctor. So many bruises,” whispered Clara. “If I could, I’d kiss them all away.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“The saliva of the people from the planet Sixtus has both psychotropic and healing properties,” said the Doctor. “A good, long snog could extend your life expectancy by 50 years. But you’d probably be off your face the entire time.” His eyes grew contemplative. “I wonder if they’ve visited your planet before. Is that where you humans get the “kiss it and make it better” thing? Or the goodnight kiss for pleasant dreams.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Doctor.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He looked at her, his eyes still far away.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Get in the damn bed.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He climbed in and pulled the duvet up to their shoulders. They faced each other, their drawn-up knees between them.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Will you give me a goodnight kiss?” asked Clara.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I suppose I could do that.” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He held her face between his hands and kissed the space between her brows, the tip of her nose and the corners of her mouth. He turned her so she faced away from him then pulled her against the length of his body. She snuggled into him, gripping his fingers and bringing his hand up to hold between her breasts. His erection rested warm and heavy at her lower back. He held her until her breathing slowed and evened out. He tried to shift away from her but she whimpered softly. He pulled her in closer and she made a small, kitten sound. He smiled and kissed her hair.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Despite the painkiller, the whiskey, and his utter exhaustion, it took nearly an hour for his thoughts to let him sleep. He thought about the tiny women he held in his arms. He thought about his wife with a small wince of guilt. River had yet to meet </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">this <i>him. Monogamy was not a requirement for Time Lords. They had two hearts. He’d told himself that one of his was reserved for River.</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> Then he met Clara Oswald and she took them both. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He winced again.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">…I’m not your boyfriend…</span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He’d abandoned her in Glasgow and stayed gone long enough that she’d decided he probably wasn’t coming back. She’d stopped listening for the Tardis, started settling into her routine, and met Danny Pink. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">But when he did return, it took her less than a minute to drop everything and fly off in the Tardis with him. All he’d had to say was, “I need you.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Their relationship was volatile -- the push-me-pull-you of his outrageous rebellion and reckless adventures and her digging in her heels, fooling herself into believing she wanted a normal life with predictable, lukewarm PE. Each of them jockeying for control, the lies, the mind games, their… addiction. Always running away, toward each other. And they were here, now. Clara Oswald and the Doctor, in the Tardis. Danny was dead and River was yet to come. Maybe it was a good time to stop running. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Never be cruel. Never be cowardly.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Let me be brave,” he thought.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">XXXxxxXXX</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He woke some hours later. Clara was snoring softly, an arm flung across his chest and a leg across his hips, her breath tickling the hair on his chest. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">His erection was back.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He contemplated his options for a moment, enjoying Clara’s warm skin and her weight against his body. He was fairly certain that she was willing if he was.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">But he was thirsty and could feel the beginnings of a dehydration headache behind his eyes. He shifted carefully until he could swing his legs over the side of the bed. He looked back at Clara. She didn’t stir. He decided to forgo his robe and padded naked to the galley. He chugged a bottle of water then went to the console room. He did a cursory check of the navigation controls and was pleased to see that Clara had tucked them safely in the Vortex. He opened the Tardis doors. The Tardis inhaled softly. Tendrils of artron radiation swirled around him, ruffling his hair, and whispering in his ears before flowing into the Tardis’ engines. He closed his eyes and breathed some in. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Close the door lest the neighbors see your pride and joy,” said Clara. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Oh, the symbolism,” chuckled the Doctor.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara walked up the stairs and hugged him from behind. “I was dreaming that I lost you in a evil hedge maze. I woke up and you were gone.” She was wearing his bathrobe but had left it open. Her breasts were soft and hot against his back. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I’m sorry,” he said. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Sorry for what?”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He closed the Tardis doors and turned carefully in her arms. He cupped her face in his hands.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Everything,” he said. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Don’t apologize. We didn’t die.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Clara…”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara shook her head. “I need to say this, Doctor. One of these days, our luck will run out. That maybe next time, it will me, and nothing, not nanogenes or the vortex or anything will save me. Or, much worse, it’ll be you and you’ll regenerate into someone I don’t …want”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He started to speak but she pressed her small hand to his mouth. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Please let me finish,” she pleaded, her eyes desperate. “I thought I could travel with you and come back to my nice, normal life with Danny. I even thought I could…have you both. Then he asked me if I loved you. I almost told him the truth but he interrupted me. And I honestly didn’t know, not for sure, not until right then. But you were… impossible. In all this.” She closed her eyes briefly. “In all this </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">agony, <i>the only thing I knew for sure was that I was so, so tired of being alone and it was Danny Pink who wanted me. On the day he died, I heard myself telling Danny that I loved him. Meanwhile, the shelves behind me were covered with all the lies I told him, written on sticky notes. I thought that if I could convince him that I loved him, the other lies wouldn’t matter.” She let out a shaky breath. “I even wrote it on a sticky to force myself to just say it. And I think he knew. Right then, right before he stepped off that curb into traffic. I close my eyes and I can almost see the expression on his face. The last thing he heard were words from me that were meant for you. Everything I did after… wasn’t love. It was guilt. If we could’ve brought him back, I would’ve given him the life he wanted because of it. But Doctor, when that boy came through the portal and not Danny, to my eternal shame, I was relieved.” She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his chest. “My punishment was one more lie so you’d go be happy on Gallifrey. Without me,” she said. She looked up at him. “I did love Danny. I loved bowtie you. I’ve known your entire timeline and I loved all the other Doctors. But not like this. Not the way I love you.”</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He lifted her hand from his mouth. “Can I talk now,” he asked, then put her hand back over his mouth.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara dropped her hand and looked away. “I don’t need you to do anything. That was just… information.” She stepped back and tied the bathrobe closed.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Clara Oswald. When have I ever said no to you?”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">She frowned. “You say no to me all the time. You --.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Have I,” he asked, gently. “Have I, really?” The Doctor chuffed out a laugh. “The one time I said no, you chucked me and the Tardis into an active volcano.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara closed her eyes and she ducked her head. “Sorry,” she said.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“<i>Open your eyes, Clara,” said the Doctor. He lifted her chin with a knuckle. “A kiss is not the time to hide your face.”</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">The Doctor leaned forward and kissed her, thrusting his tongue strongly into her mouth. After the briefest moment of surprise, Clara met his tongue with her own. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">This was how she liked to be kissed. None of the too soft, too wet and somehow cold kisses from Danny Pink, his moist breath blowing up her nose, forcing her to break away so she could breathe. The Doctor’s mouth was sweet, his breath warm and dry and synchronized with hers, inhaling and exhaling at the same time, the fingers of both of his hands entwined in the hair at the back of her head. She kept her eyes open, as he did. It was intensely, shockingly intimate. </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He took her hand and led her through the console room, down the corridor and into his bedroom. The light in the room brightened to a soft glow.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Hmm,” Clara said, amused. “Lights on?”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“And eyes open,” said the Doctor.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara sobered quickly and stared at him, eyes wide.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He pulled his robe off her shoulders, let it fall to the floor then sat her on the edge of the bed. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Lie back, Clara,” he said. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara shivered and did as she was told.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He knelt, hooked his hands behind her knees and pushed them up to her chest. He gently spread her legs until the muscles in her thighs were stretched and tense, all of her open to him. He gazed down at what he had exposed and waited. The pink flesh darkened and swelled and her clit throbbed once, then again as he watched. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">Clara rolled her hips and made a small sound. She was wet and ready for him and he’d hadn’t yet done a thing. He looked at her face.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I don’t have any condoms, Clara,” he said. “I think I’ll be able to stop if you ask, but I’m not sure.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">“I won’t,” she whispered. “I won’t ask you to stop.”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;">He dipped his head and licked her pussy with a long swipe of his tongue, flicking her clit and sucking it into his mouth. Clara cried out and gripped his hair in both hands. She was close to coming and he could feel it. He placed a hand lightly on her belly and it was enough to keep her as still as if she were bound by a spell.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Default" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; line-height: normal; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Doctor</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">,” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">she </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">gasp</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ed.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He backed</span></i><i><span lang="IT" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> off, nuzzling </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her with his nose and lips. </span></i><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">I</span></i><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>’</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ll let you come</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">”</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">, he said</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">. </span></i><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">But I want to be inside you when you do.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">”</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">“Oh, God. Doctor.” Clara was almost sobbing. “Please don’t stop.”</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He resumed licking and sucking and fucking her with his tongue. He reached up and </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">cup</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ped</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her breast, massaging it roughly and scissoring her nipple between his fingers. He stands abruptly, lifts her with his hands around her waist and practically throws her to the middle of the bed. He stretches out on top of her, spreading her legs with a knee. He licks his palm and rubs it over the head of his cock. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He drove his cock inside her in one hard thrust then stops.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Oh</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">,” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">he</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> groan</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ed</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">.</span></i><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">You feel. So good,” he said, his voice jerking in his chest. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Clara </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">wrap</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ped her legs around his waist. He held himself above her, muscles straining with the effort to remain unmoving, as she slowly pumped her hips beneath him. He looks down between their bodies and watches his cock slide in and out of her</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> pussy. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Mmm,</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">” </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">he breathes. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He had wanted to make love to her slowly, carefully and for hours, but his control left him. He </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">rest</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ed his full weight on top of her and fucked</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her in long, hard strokes, his hands in her hair and his face buried in her</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> neck. His hips snap</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ped against hers,</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> harder and faster. </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Clara tried to keep up but she couldn’t.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">She </span></i><i><span lang="IT" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">cross</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ed</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her ankles at his lower back,</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> groan</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ed and dug her fingers into his lean shoulders. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He wanted to feel and remember everything about her: the taut muscles of her thighs, smell of her arousal</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her lips and teeth on his skin that were sure to leave marks</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">the sound of her voice chanting, </span></i><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><i><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial Unicode MS", serif;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">I love you, Doctor. I love you. I love you.”</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He pressed his lips to her ear. “Now, Clara,” he said.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Her orgasm was</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> loud</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">. She panted and swore</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">her body first going still then shuddering, back arched. His own orgasm was uncharacteristically silent, his cock pulsing strongly inside her. He pressed his pubic bone against her clit, his chest heaving, watching her face intently as she </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">c</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">ame again, bucking beneath him</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He held himself inside her, both of them gasping softly at each residual throb or contraction. </span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He lifted his head and dropped small kisses on her</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> face</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">. He broke his own rule and closed his eyes because she’s crying and he cannot bear it.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">“My Clara,” he murmured.</span></i><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">xxxXXXxxx</span></b><b><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><i><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></i></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">The Tardis gently blew air over him, cooling his body and slowing the pounding his hearts. He wiped the come from his chest and belly with the flannel that the ever-thoughtful Nardole had left for him. He dragged himself out of the chair and collapsed naked on top of his duvet. He didn’t waste time wondering if it was his fantasy or an actual memory. In the end, it didn’t matter. She was gone.</span><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">He slept finally, deeply, and blessedly free from dreams.</span><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><span lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></p><p class="Body" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: none; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">xxxXXXxxx</span></b><span lang="AR-SA"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-11727577964957207212021-05-20T22:01:00.002-07:002021-05-20T22:02:23.583-07:00This Broke Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrv1t6oi6DOwsqFy6rsrU6ZgxUlnsaKzvHtE4Lr_DdBQYNIEvUwqxsThy-9HHGmYVvG_GBM40Rt32cFOcZpceG6Vso0GmDhP-o4dScCcBYY0KKSz2iTnVLs7DNoIJJjWEiom8s-g/s1078/D901DA84-EAA0-4D96-BF24-DA18B38894AE.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; clear: left; float: left;"><img alt="" border="0" height="400" data-original-height="1078" data-original-width="629" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrv1t6oi6DOwsqFy6rsrU6ZgxUlnsaKzvHtE4Lr_DdBQYNIEvUwqxsThy-9HHGmYVvG_GBM40Rt32cFOcZpceG6Vso0GmDhP-o4dScCcBYY0KKSz2iTnVLs7DNoIJJjWEiom8s-g/s400/D901DA84-EAA0-4D96-BF24-DA18B38894AE.jpeg"/></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-90701842112040168282021-04-27T16:30:00.002-07:002021-04-27T16:30:41.436-07:00Rest In Peace, Dear Alfeo<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-93Ckpbbu2mf8KWTm0kXMWkXM_IgwlgHJKqsEIuMHwYV5-j53i4OC1J6vQSx8snm5_9vCFeSEsGZKcq89R7SE9Qa8__SNwNyklcuR_ap9ygrtgLsj6EXPsxsfiRcuoQDd4ZVcg/s2048/8A0848D7-DBE5-474D-A757-7543FDA9A72B.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1389" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-93Ckpbbu2mf8KWTm0kXMWkXM_IgwlgHJKqsEIuMHwYV5-j53i4OC1J6vQSx8snm5_9vCFeSEsGZKcq89R7SE9Qa8__SNwNyklcuR_ap9ygrtgLsj6EXPsxsfiRcuoQDd4ZVcg/s600/8A0848D7-DBE5-474D-A757-7543FDA9A72B.jpeg"/></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-48309252806876462562021-03-26T14:07:00.002-07:002021-03-26T14:07:31.602-07:0090 Years Old Today<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmnYo1LduDPnmIxo0ka2qPSQSBprpLm6MRXtxLd7tuyDb4rIsuHcODCmQDZDHlST53i9yMWRNSvs8-nVz6rBDLEvB6pK41j0mZs82AZSr3k1GUBlQEd0nTgRNo3mT6NXRZGNJkUw/s488/0F9CCF18-AD34-49E4-86C3-FD5401BED6F7.jpeg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; clear: left; float: left;"><img alt="" border="0" height="600" data-original-height="488" data-original-width="380" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmnYo1LduDPnmIxo0ka2qPSQSBprpLm6MRXtxLd7tuyDb4rIsuHcODCmQDZDHlST53i9yMWRNSvs8-nVz6rBDLEvB6pK41j0mZs82AZSr3k1GUBlQEd0nTgRNo3mT6NXRZGNJkUw/s600/0F9CCF18-AD34-49E4-86C3-FD5401BED6F7.jpeg"/></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-42949762566080347852021-01-20T11:36:00.006-08:002021-01-20T11:37:09.674-08:00Happy 101st Birthday De Kelley<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_pH0n5_Hp8fI7AOPtNkSpoXEB6N7g9JR-cXiaaRvBjLVgnZZD1mOo57Naf8pB44AafXiQHxG-8MUXrrNuuPp3hyCvUP-nHUnM9hgUoT10XRNgM2I8v-GM9Ht708FKLZG7cFQnw/s500/7F7CDD92-0489-48B0-891C-1B35CF407638.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY_pH0n5_Hp8fI7AOPtNkSpoXEB6N7g9JR-cXiaaRvBjLVgnZZD1mOo57Naf8pB44AafXiQHxG-8MUXrrNuuPp3hyCvUP-nHUnM9hgUoT10XRNgM2I8v-GM9Ht708FKLZG7cFQnw/w400-h300/7F7CDD92-0489-48B0-891C-1B35CF407638.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <div><br /></div><div><br /><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>My <i>other </i>Doctor.</p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-35671742385385533502021-01-17T13:04:00.012-08:002021-01-26T13:54:27.618-08:00My Doctor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX1KFE4SclXRIU3HknOCzegQjlGTJrIfD8wMcnVa7gQk0bAkLxhGdSqJLqeKGjhzUffAqBSt-clpnpfycF1L5JCwTweYie8DsXFmNE6BD4ifa-DQiQWVB8sRAWVS6EKl92yxWStQ/s649/AB3D4400-617E-419D-AA3D-2D3BE2908EAE.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="649" data-original-width="357" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX1KFE4SclXRIU3HknOCzegQjlGTJrIfD8wMcnVa7gQk0bAkLxhGdSqJLqeKGjhzUffAqBSt-clpnpfycF1L5JCwTweYie8DsXFmNE6BD4ifa-DQiQWVB8sRAWVS6EKl92yxWStQ/w220-h400/AB3D4400-617E-419D-AA3D-2D3BE2908EAE.jpeg" width="220" /></a></div><br /><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><a href="https://youtu.be/BJP9o4BEziI" target="_blank">Watch this.</a></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-14850280086110084242021-01-15T16:36:00.001-08:002021-01-26T13:53:33.190-08:00Doctor Who<br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUP-R3-7qm5JFq10ChycSY2N7vNA4Y0Y-m5djrXIavoTgalzS7YoTj4UJHE9e9tWVHMoBtPUzSipfFlhqMLHXxn54xrzwD0oz0vfnhc-FRXbDc4vI78RJeNGV3xsHp9kjbzk9h6g/s485/CEFC0F5F-AAD5-4297-AE78-85F316822F00.png" style="clear: left; display: inline; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="485" data-original-width="335" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUP-R3-7qm5JFq10ChycSY2N7vNA4Y0Y-m5djrXIavoTgalzS7YoTj4UJHE9e9tWVHMoBtPUzSipfFlhqMLHXxn54xrzwD0oz0vfnhc-FRXbDc4vI78RJeNGV3xsHp9kjbzk9h6g/s320/CEFC0F5F-AAD5-4297-AE78-85F316822F00.png" /></a> </p><p>Listen, family. You know I love me some Spock. Alas, my head has been turned by the good Doctor. The 12th Doctor, specifically. More specifically, Peter Capaldi. Like, I’m <i>consumed</i> by this man. It’s imperative that I write him out of my head so that I can go on with my life. Good thing is, he’s got me writing again. Yay!</p><p>If you’ve never watched Doctor Who, start. I suggest the rebooted Who (2005), starting with the 9th Doctor, versus the classic series that debuted in 1963. I’m only just tearing myself away from Peter Capaldi to watch the old series and it’s really good. It’s surprisingly dark! I’ll be posting my thoughts on each Doctor as I go. In the meantime, I’ll be posting at least one Doctor Who fic soon. <br /></p><p>Ta, loves!</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-87209304282837947252020-10-17T18:52:00.000-07:002020-10-17T18:52:00.210-07:00Visit My Etsy Shop For the Best Star Trek Discovery mask<p> Buy my shit!</p><p><a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/860803274/star-trek-discovery-disco-face-mask?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1&crt=1">https://www.etsy.com/listing/860803274/star-trek-discovery-disco-face-mask?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1&crt=1</a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifujK3kVCm15pCNPVBuk8T0UGrkyXcMnbjdk0MWgfJCEMw8upP97mrj8tnXwtpuUmnVOyj4yU7cSUYjjydiu1fGWnuJCjdMbiAQLFrrLGMrvgyAKg0dRVf1pX6VsKknRzkUi4Pyg/s2614/6D355285-0E47-4D5C-9491-794D28C1C1FC.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1203" data-original-width="2614" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifujK3kVCm15pCNPVBuk8T0UGrkyXcMnbjdk0MWgfJCEMw8upP97mrj8tnXwtpuUmnVOyj4yU7cSUYjjydiu1fGWnuJCjdMbiAQLFrrLGMrvgyAKg0dRVf1pX6VsKknRzkUi4Pyg/s320/6D355285-0E47-4D5C-9491-794D28C1C1FC.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-63737269391790987632019-12-09T22:19:00.000-08:002019-12-09T22:19:05.871-08:00My Boys<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKITXEXhSb3B9vcSQ1gW7FcAaBV2TRAYVowiZ3xpQa7C7vr6KnXmSlpb3WFSKN_8RRAeV-DnhURCxcgSXKtLT5fwoKpvVkDPttwQGdpJ1oj-mNcBQS5HIXdi8gPnzDURjL-Vzig/s1600/B7F24428-2298-4DBE-8CDA-CD18B69FCCEA.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1343" data-original-width="1419" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKITXEXhSb3B9vcSQ1gW7FcAaBV2TRAYVowiZ3xpQa7C7vr6KnXmSlpb3WFSKN_8RRAeV-DnhURCxcgSXKtLT5fwoKpvVkDPttwQGdpJ1oj-mNcBQS5HIXdi8gPnzDURjL-Vzig/s320/B7F24428-2298-4DBE-8CDA-CD18B69FCCEA.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-70504741940796763882019-12-09T22:14:00.001-08:002019-12-09T22:14:25.088-08:00RIP René<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjktc22Cr-GI_BQRlFh2UGzDYcieoyhWsABZwm4OPCjCftW6uDQmi9q6IhdfgRRMdq7-hprCTYKN3W80UUoaAyCMLCOG_4do1hRyCYN8AtKP5B5HvlA0uv__8snFvKB0n4KVHNNXw/s1600/DCC93D82-99BB-44C7-9375-7796E130740F.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjktc22Cr-GI_BQRlFh2UGzDYcieoyhWsABZwm4OPCjCftW6uDQmi9q6IhdfgRRMdq7-hprCTYKN3W80UUoaAyCMLCOG_4do1hRyCYN8AtKP5B5HvlA0uv__8snFvKB0n4KVHNNXw/s320/DCC93D82-99BB-44C7-9375-7796E130740F.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
I loved him.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-29136967772860247432019-12-06T18:23:00.004-08:002020-05-08T10:10:52.489-07:00RIP D.C. FontanaD.C. Fontana passed away on December 2 at the age of 80. She is well-remembered by me for writing a couple of the best Spock/Vulcan episodes: “Journey to Babel” and “This Side of Paradise” . Other favorites were “Charlie X” and “Tomorrow is Yesterday”. I met her briefly at a convention years ago and said, “You’re a Spock fan girl, like me.” “Big time,” she laughed.<br />
<br />
D was the first — and only, for many years — woman writer of Star Trek.<br />
<br />
She will be missed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-80702252107572734362015-08-14T00:56:00.002-07:002015-08-14T00:56:26.082-07:00Chillin' in the Empire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/67/d0/fd/67d0fd40a5356c6f33f24e5210a8ebbd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/67/d0/fd/67d0fd40a5356c6f33f24e5210a8ebbd.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-35470187083364163742015-02-27T11:54:00.001-08:002015-04-18T21:26:09.721-07:00Well Done<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKV2QRXg8mSreGbtzSzjBuXRR4ThiERSdz1wPHm6XYh97ACosgrt3e9ScRIc1pw10sIkKBMVkfFsCMF9lb1TvK-qs4iR6azDMFgcPytFN2ntEl1uaf5CE2gOUokb3hhFuP9LkBQ/s1600/leonard+guitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKV2QRXg8mSreGbtzSzjBuXRR4ThiERSdz1wPHm6XYh97ACosgrt3e9ScRIc1pw10sIkKBMVkfFsCMF9lb1TvK-qs4iR6azDMFgcPytFN2ntEl1uaf5CE2gOUokb3hhFuP9LkBQ/s320/leonard+guitar.jpg" height="400" width="325" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-50396409145531726402015-01-07T13:40:00.003-08:002021-02-03T11:12:58.232-08:00After the Wolves -- NEW CHAPTERS!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimkDybL7CN1FetDL8dPCPDk4ffpR2McJDdJAzOBL6esgVVmMFh-DaisjWiOEOw2JSEXMq6Ju7oqipRd2aXPQNf247IbGgHfZ8AD8dFRmgwUCPWYQITZqMouHBuZZQ8JSjhqGr3zg/s1600/After+the+Wolves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimkDybL7CN1FetDL8dPCPDk4ffpR2McJDdJAzOBL6esgVVmMFh-DaisjWiOEOw2JSEXMq6Ju7oqipRd2aXPQNf247IbGgHfZ8AD8dFRmgwUCPWYQITZqMouHBuZZQ8JSjhqGr3zg/s320/After+the+Wolves.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<br />
Chapters 13 and 14 added below!<br />
<br />
<b><br />
<i>A/N:</b> This is A/U to my own Gunsmoke canon -- sort of meta fan fiction. I have no beta. All my fubars are belong to me. This is a work in progress. Gunsmoke belongs to CBS. Original characters and creative content belong to me.</i><br />
<br />
<b>After the Wolves</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter One<br />
<br />
I winced at the glare from the sun and from the bright pain that scored my throat with hot iron nails. I coughed hard, each spasm as painful as a pistol shot to the chest. I had dug a bullet out of my own leg two days before and it hardly bled. Now, if I didn’t get some broth in my belly and a good night’s sleep by a warm fire, I was going to die from an <i>ague </i>that started as a light case of the sniffles when I rode out of Dodge ten days ago. <br />
<br />
I shielded my eyes with one hand and squinted through the haze of my fever. A pack of wolves growled over a large bloody patch in a vast meadow of clean white snow. <br />
<br />
I checked my ammunition. I had four bullets in my pistol and two shells in my rifle. I watched the beta wolf face down the others while the alpha ate his fill. If I could pick off the alpha, the rest would scatter and I could take a piece of their kill. They would be wary of me only temporarily -- hopefully, long enough for me to get beyond their territory. If I missed, I would be only a loud noise and harmless – and easy prey. <br />
<br />
I heard the thick crackle of cartilage being separated from a large joint. <br />
<br />
“What do you think, Buck?” I murmured. The horse flared his nostrils and kept an ear turned to the wolf pack, but he was otherwise silent and still. <br />
<br />
We moved slowly along the tree line until the pack was downwind. The alpha wolf lifted his head and sniffed the air. I raised my rifle, aimed and fired. <br />
<br />
The shot rang in my ears and seemed to reverberate all around me. Buck stamped a foot and nodded sharply. The wolves ran into the trees on the opposite side of the meadow. I heard a distant rumbling -- perhaps the sound of a storm closing in.<br />
<br />
As I approached the kill, I could not, at first, make sense of what I was seeing. A bloody boot. A leather poke with its contents strewn about. Torn dungarees. A clenched fist stood straight up out of the snow.<br />
<br />
The wolf kill was a man. <br />
<br />
I dismounted and knelt by the body. The man was young, a teenager. I pressed my fingers against his cheek. He was cold but not frozen, his half-open eyes not yet clouded over. He’d been dead an hour, maybe two. I searched him and pulled out a worn buckskin wallet from his coat pocket. Inside was a manumission stamped with the crumbling seal of a deed office in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana. The boy’s name was Lucien Lemieux, he was nineteen years old and he was the son of a freed man. <br />
<br />
I sighed and felt a tug in my heart. Even after Emancipation, Negroes carried proof of their status as free people. They were right to be distrustful of white men. The war had been over for twenty years but former slaves were still being abducted and sold to plantation owners in Cuba and Panama. But freedom papers were a flimsy shield against determined slavers. Free men and their families fled to these mountains where they were less likely to encounter whites.<br />
<br />
I tucked the document back into the billfold and pushed it deep into my coat pocket. A finely wrought metal cross on a silver chain was embedded in the gore on the boy’s chest. I lifted his head and eased the necklace from around his neck. I dropped it into my coat pocket with the manumission.<br />
<br />
I stared sadly at Lucian’s face. His skin was fair – lighter than my own skin when tanned in the summer. He could’ve passed for white if he wanted to. My guess was he didn’t want to, when members of his family perhaps could not. His half-open eyes were gray and flecked with bronze, like granite stone and fool’s gold. I reached down and gently closed them.<br />
<br />
Light, wet snowflakes began to fall and the icy wind picked up. The wolves paced along the tree line. It was time to go. The ground was too hard to dig and even if it wasn’t, I didn’t have the strength to bury the body. I had no choice but to leave him. <br />
<br />
“I’m sorry, son,” I said. <br />
<br />
I heaved myself onto my horse and watched the wolves. I thought about shooting another but the pack was not advancing and I needed all the bullets I could save. There was a trail of blood and drag marks leading from the trees. I spurred my horse and followed them from force of habit, even though I knew I had little time to spare before I had to find a place to make camp. <br />
<br />
The trail led into the trees and to the bottom of a steep, rocky slope. The snow was churned with wolf tracks, and the hoof prints of a horse. A large rock jutted from the ground, a clot of blood and hair pasted to one jagged edge. It was easy for me to reconstruct the scene. The slope was nearly sheer and the footing treacherous. A horse could not make it up the slope with a man on his back. Lucien had gotten off his horse, slipped on an icy patch and hit his head on the rock. There was blood, but not a lot. He died here, hitting his head hard enough to stop his heart.<br />
<br />
The wolves had not hunted the boy, only scavenged his dead body.<br />
<br />
I turned my horse in a circle, searching the ground. Fading hoof prints went up the slope and into the low clouds. Horses are creatures of habit and usually ran straight home if left to their own devices. I looked back at the wolves. They were cautiously approaching their fallen alpha. There was no shelter for me as long as I was in their territory and there was nowhere else for me to go but up the slope. I had nothing to lose by following that horse home. Hopefully, his home wasn’t far. <br />
<br />
I burned with fever and was lightheaded from lack of food. I dismounted and swooned, nearly falling myself. I wrapped the reins around my saddle horn then cinched them under my arms and around my back. If I slipped or lost consciousness, I would not fall to the ground. Buck was used to tracking other horses and often picked up sign that I had lost. He would drag me along until he found the horse or I told him to stop. I hooked my arm around his neck then tied my arm to my saddle. <br />
<br />
“Let’s go find him, boy,” I said.<br />
<br />
We stumbled up the incline, leaning on each other like a couple of drunken bums.<br />
<br />
xxxXXXxxx<br />
<br />
~~Chapter 2<br />
<br />
By the time we reached the summit, I was literally at the end of my rope. I hung off Buck, my shins and knees barked and bruised, the arm I tied to my saddle, numb and cold. I was going to send Buck on, with a note and my identification and hope that he found the horse’s farm – if not to come back for me, but to put him up so he wouldn’t freeze to death. I pawed through my saddlebags with frozen fingers.<br />
<br />
I had paper but no pencil. <br />
<br />
I sank to the ground. I resigned myself to dying here, alone, food for the wolves. I tried to shy Buck away but he only took a couple of sidesteps and stood waiting for me. I slipped into unconsciousness. I don’t know how long I was out but fortunately, Buck woke me with a nicker and a burst of warm horse breath straight into my face.<br />
<br />
I rolled to my side. I looked down the slope. A small valley sparkled in the last rays of the sun like a jewel box filled with emeralds and gold coins. A cob house was built on a stone shelf at the base of the cliff on the far side of the valley. There was a corral, a barn with an arched door and a garden surrounded by a sapling fence. A small field beyond the barn was divided in half by a low rock wall. In the center of one half was a snow-dusted haystack. The other half held the remnants of a corn harvest. Three goats and a tiny burro grazed in patches of green grass among the broken stalks and melting snow. The little farm was neat as a pin, the ground as clean as if it’d been swept by a broom. <br />
<br />
I was pretty sure that I was hallucinating. Or that I was dead and that was where I’d live out eternity. I blinked and rubbed my eyes but the little farm was still there. Smoke puffed from the chimney in one perfect ball of cotton. I sat for a few minutes and waited for the feeling to return to my arm. I felt faint disappointment that I wasn’t in heaven.<br />
<br />
I mounted my horse and started carefully down the incline. It wasn’t as steep as the slope we just climbed but there were more trees and the ground was padded with slippery pine needles. It was slow going. By the time I was within shouting distance of the house, sun had sunk behind the cliff. Someone stepped onto the porch and lit a lantern by the door. <br />
<br />
The light was as warm and soft as a sigh of relief.<br />
<br />
A short-legged, but heavily built dog charged toward us, barking furiously. He circled us, growling and nipping at Buck’s ankles. He stopped me in the dooryard, placing himself between me and the house, his head down and his teeth bared. The goats and burro trotted over, stood in a bunch and watched the scene silently.<br />
<br />
A boy of perhaps twelve or thirteen stood on the porch. He leveled a shotgun at me. He was bundled in an oversized coat. On his head was a battered felt hat that came down over his ears. I would’ve been amused were it not for the buffalo gun he pointed unwaveringly at my head.<br />
<br />
“Drop your guns on the ground, please,” he said.<br />
<br />
“I’m --,” I started.<br />
<br />
“I <i>will </i>send you into the Hereafter without a second thought, sir.”<br />
<br />
His eyes were steely under the brim of his ridiculously large hat. I fumbled with the buttons on my coat. <br />
<br />
“Slowly,” said the boy.<br />
<br />
I held up my hands. <br />
<br />
“My -- .” I swallowed painfully. “My fingers are frozen,” I said. I pushed at the lapel of my coat with a clawed hand and showed my badge. “My name is Matt Dillon. I’m a U.S. Marshal out of Dodge City.”<br />
<br />
“You are a very long way from Dodge City.”<br />
<br />
“I was hunting a murderer.”<br />
<br />
“Did you capture him?”<br />
<br />
“Yes.”<br />
<br />
“Where is he?”<br />
<br />
I let the silence hang in the air.<br />
<br />
“How can I know that you are telling me the truth?” the boy asked.<br />
<br />
“You can’t,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Keep your hands up.”<br />
<br />
He walked over and tugged my pistol from its scabbard and tossed it onto the porch. He took my rifle and stepped back, cracking the breach and flipping out the cartridge with his thumbnail, while he held his own rifle tucked in the crook of his elbow -- and aimed at me. In spite of the fact that he might yet decide to shoot me, I was impressed. He handled the weapons as well as any experienced gunman. <br />
<br />
“Your rifle is recently fired,” he said.<br />
<br />
“I shot a wolf this morning,” I said.<br />
<br />
His eyes traveled over my face. He lowered his shotgun slightly. “Are you ill, Marshal?”<br />
<br />
“I’d be obliged if your Pa can spare some grain for my horse and I could spend the night in your barn. I’ll be on my way by morning,” I said, but was seized by a long, ragged bout of coughing that nearly toppled me from my saddle.<br />
<br />
The boy regarded me with raised brows. “If you spend the night in our barn, you will be dead by morning,” he said.<br />
<br />
“The barn will be fine. I can pay.”<br />
<br />
The boy leaned the shotguns against the porch rail. “I will not have your death on my conscience.” <br />
<br />
“You just threatened to shoot me without a second thought.” <br />
<br />
“That was, perhaps, hyperbole.” He stepped forward and reached up to help me. The dog barked a warning. “Quiet, Mortimer,” said the boy. “Let’s get you inside, Mr. Dillon.”<br />
<br />
I looked him over. His wrists were thin at the end of his sleeves and I could tell that the bulk of his upper body was mostly coat.<br />
<br />
“I can manage,” I wheezed.<br />
<br />
"You are going to fall over, Marshal," said the boy.<br />
<br />
"I’m fine."<br />
<br />
The boy stepped back. "As you wish."<br />
<br />
I swung my leg over Buck’s rump. My limbs felt weightless and disconnected from my body. I could see the ground coming up to meet me but was helpless to stop myself falling. I lay on my back, blinking at the sky. Mortimer the dog ambled over, sniffed at me then sneezed. The burro and his chorus of goats seemed to confer with each other for a moment then turned and walked away. The boy stood by with his hands folded behind his back.<br />
<br />
“Pride goeth before a --,” he said. <br />
<br />
“I get it,” I snapped. <br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 3<br />
<br />
I held out my hand and let him haul me to my feet. I swayed a little and he turned to support me with his arm around my waist. He was stronger than he looked. We staggered up the porch stairs and into the house. The boy half-carried me to a chair. He searched a shelf and selected a jar filled with brown powder. He tapped a big spoonful into a tea pot and poured in hot water from a kettle over the fire. He rushed back to help me out of my coat. <br />
<br />
“Your fingers are not frozen but very near,” he said, massaging my hands. “I see you also have a bullet wound in your leg.” He pressed a wrist to my forehead. He poured from the teapot into a cup. “Drink this.”<br />
<br />
I tried to scoot closer to the fire but he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.<br />
<br />
“I know you feel cold but your fever is very bad. I need to keep you cool a little while longer.”<br />
<br />
“You’re a little young to be doctoring,” I said, shivering.<br />
<br />
“Hippocrates was practicing medicine at nine.”<br />
<br />
“So, a couple of years older than you, then.”<br />
<br />
“You are free to bed down in the stall with the other ass on this farm.”<br />
<br />
I hid my grin in my cup and choked down a sip of the bitter tea. I looked around the room. There was a kitchen at one end and two other doors. Through one I could see one narrow bed with a battered poppet propped against the pillows. An oriental rug on the stone floor was faded but clean. There was a large pair of boots lined neatly by the front door but there was only one place set at the table.<br />
<br />
“Are you here by yourself?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“The tea will quiet your cough,” he said, gently urging me with two fingers on my wrist, to lift the cup to my mouth. He gazed thoughtfully out of the window. “I thought the shot that you fired was my brother,” he said. “He is to return from Fort Hardy today.”<br />
<br />
“Fort Hardy?” I asked. I peered blearily into my cup.<br />
<br />
“Less a fort and more a trading post with a couple of fat Calvary men to guard it,” he said. “It is thirty miles northeast from here. We pick up our mail and some supplies there. My brother is late and there is a storm coming.”<br />
<br />
My brain sluggishly turned over this information. “Where are your folks?” I asked.<br />
<br />
He swung the kettle back over the fire and stood with his back to me. “My parents are dead,” he said, after a moment.<br />
<br />
“I’m sorry.”<br />
<br />
He turned and peered into my face. I blinked once, slowly. <br />
<br />
“I believe you’ve had enough of this tea,” he said, prying my cold fingers from the cup. “I had to guess the dose because you are the largest man I have ever seen.” He handed me another cup. “This is only warm water but drink it down, too. You are dry as paper.”<br />
<br />
“Your brother -- .What is -- ,” I began. I swallowed thickly. <br />
<br />
“I must get your horse and our animals into the barn. Can you manage getting undressed on your own? I need to look at that bullet wound in your leg.” He refilled the kettle from a bucket of water and poked up the fire. He buttoned his coat and headed for the door.<br />
<br />
“Wait,” I rasped. I struggled to get up. <br />
<br />
“We can talk later, Marshal. I’ll be back shortly. Stay away from the fire,” he said, going out and closing the door firmly behind him.<br />
<br />
I slumped back into the chair. I could feel myself sinking into a well of exhaustion. All I wanted to do was lay down by the fire and sleep. <br />
<br />
I got as far as toeing off my boots.<br />
<br />
<b>*******</b><br />
<br />
“Marshal? Mr. Dillon?”<br />
<br />
I felt cool fingers pat lightly against my cheeks.<br />
<br />
“Wake up, Marshal.”<br />
<br />
I blinked awake. “Doc?” I croaked.<br />
<br />
“It is James.”<br />
<br />
Everything -- my headache, my sore throat, my burning lungs –seemed blurred around the edges. I was clammy with sweat. I sat up and leaned forward with my head down, propping my forearms on my thighs. <br />
<br />
James pressed his cheek to the space between my shoulders. <br />
<br />
“Wha – what’re doing?” I asked. <br />
<br />
“Listening to your lungs rattle like pebbles in a tin can,” he said.<br />
<br />
“I just need a couple hours of sleep,” I mumbled.<br />
<br />
“You need much more than that. You are going to get worse before you get better.”<br />
<br />
He tugged at my vest, trying to work it off my shoulders. <br />
<br />
“Why are you pulling on me,” I asked, querulously.<br />
<br />
“Your horse smells better than you do.”<br />
<br />
I ran my fingers through my hair and held my hand against the back of my neck, suppressing a frisson of irritation. All of this fussing was not necessary. A good, hard sleep was usually all I needed to set me on the mend. <br />
<br />
“Sleep,” I rasped.<br />
<br />
“You will have a bath first. And you will have more water and then some broth.”<br />
<br />
“You’re bossy.”<br />
<br />
“I could knock you out and strip you myself.”<br />
<br />
I waved a hand. “Settle down, cowboy,” I said. I rose slowly and the room tilted. I reached out and gripped James on his shoulders to steady myself. I could feel his collar bones under my thumbs, hard and thin as a wooden hanger. His fingers worked at the buttons on my shirt.<br />
<br />
“I can do it,” I said. <br />
<br />
“Let me,” said James.<br />
<br />
“You don’t even know me.”<br />
<br />
“Really, Marshal. You must learn to allow others to do for you.”<br />
<br />
Maybe he <i>did </i>know me. <br />
<br />
I stood with my hands on his shoulders and gazed at his face as he undressed me. He had thick, upswept brows and a high, clear forehead. His mouth was soft and his jaw was strong and delicate at the same time. His eyes were large and set far apart – and they were the exact shade of Lucien Lémieux’s. In fact, he was the spitting image of Lucien except his skin was smooth and dark as a plum. <br />
<br />
This skinny kid was the reason Lucien Lemieux refused to pass for white. <br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 4<br />
<br />
I’ve done my share of informing people that their loved one is dead. No lawman worth a damn ever gets used to it. With his brother gone, James was a Negro boy without family, without protection, easy prey for animals that were worse than wolves.<br />
<br />
I opened my mouth to tell him but what came out was another long bout of wrenching coughs that nearly brought me to my knees. I could taste blood and the infection that filled my lungs. I leaned heavily on James, breathing through my mouth in ragged gasps. The boy murmured something in French as he wiped my nose and chin with a warm, damp cloth. I don’t speak French but my mind translated whatever he said into an endearment. I pondered that while he peeled off my undergarments then led me to a cut-down barrel the size of a large bucket in front of the fireplace.<br />
<br />
“I can –,” I began.<br />
<br />
“We have to do this standing up, Marshal. I wouldn’t be able to get you out of a proper bath tub.”<br />
<br />
“But -- .”<br />
<br />
“Stop protesting, Mr. Dillon. You can hardly see straight. It will go quicker if I do it,” he said, manhandling me into the barrel.<br />
<br />
I stood with my head down while James dipped a small pitcher into another bucket then poured the warm water over me. Once again, the boy was right. The water felt good and I my chest loosened minutely from the steam. I braced my hands on the mantle and let him scrub my body with a rough sponge and wood-scented soap. He cleaned the crusted blood from my leg and remarked about my other scars, suggesting that perhaps my fool-headed stubbornness was a result of the amount of lead that had been shot into my body over the years. I found his scolding chatter to be soothing, much in the way that I felt when I heard the same from Doc. I was too tired to be embarrassed when he got to my privates. He moved them around gently, using the back of his hand the way Doc did, washing them thoroughly. I stood obediently while he dressed me in a linen nightshirt that was about a foot too short. <br />
<br />
I was trembling with fatigue when he finally allowed me to sit in a large rocking chair by the fire. He wrapped a quilt around my shoulders. I immediately began to nod off.<br />
<br />
“Stay awake, Marshal,” said James. “It is better to be up upright when you cough.”<br />
<br />
I watched him with half-closed eyes as he dragged a side table to my chair and went about his tasks. He moved with grace and economy, his hands sure, quick and steady. He would make a good doctor someday. Or a good gunman.<br />
<br />
He set a small bowl of broth and another cup of the bitter tea before me. I held the bowl in my trembling hands and took a sip. The broth was hot and salty and thick with fat. It was delicious and I was starving but I barely had the strength to swallow. James stood beside me and alternated between hard thumps and gentle stroking on my back as I doubled over with coughing between sips. When I finished about half of the broth, he made me take a few swallows of the tea. <br />
<br />
I leaned back in the chair with my eyes closed, gathering the strength to tell him that his brother was dead.<br />
<br />
“It’s time I let you sleep,” said James.<br />
<br />
He helped me into one of the other rooms and tucked me into a narrow bed, covering me in a feather-stuffed quilt that was five inches thick and felt like it weighed twenty pounds. James bent over me and pulled the quilt to my chin, his face close to mine. I could’ve told him then that his brother was dead but fatigue turned me a coward. I stared into his eyes.<br />
<br />
“Granite and fool’s gold,” I murmured.<br />
<br />
He smiled indulgently – the way a physician would with a delirious patient.<br />
<br />
I didn’t even try to stay awake. I was asleep before James left the room.<br />
<br />
<b>******</b><br />
<br />
Pressure in my bladder woke me some time later. It was dark. My throat was painful again. I heard voices and warm laughter. I swallowed, frowning. I heard James laugh again. Maybe his brother was home and Lucien Lémieux was just some poor drifter who died alone. I was glad that I hadn’t told James that his brother was dead. I struggled out of the bed and shuffled to the bedroom door. I held myself up with a shoulder against the doorframe.<br />
<br />
The main room was lit by the fire and one lamp. Mortimer lay on his side with his back to me. He acknowledged my presence with a twitch of his ear, apparently deciding that I wasn’t worth more of his attention. A sound drew my attention to the fireplace. <br />
<br />
My eyes traveled from the dog to the cut-down barrel, up a pair of long, slender legs, over the curve of a buttock, the fullness of a breast and the strong column of a neck. Soapy water slicked smooth, dark skin.<br />
<br />
“James?” I croaked.<br />
<br />
James whipped his head around. “Mr. Dillon! You startled me,” he said. He snatched a sheet off a chair and clutched it to his chest. Water soaked through and clung to his flat belly and full breasts. <br />
<br />
<i>Her</i> full breasts.<br />
<br />
“Did you need something, Marshal? You’ve only slept for three hours.”<br />
<br />
“I uh…I have to--.” I stood there, ogling her breasts. “I have to --,” I said. “I mean -- .”<br />
<br />
“There is a pot in your room.” James stepped out of the barrel. “Would you like me to help you?”<br />
<br />
“I – Am I-- ? Are you --?”<br />
<br />
“I’ll help,” she said.<br />
<br />
“I can manage.”<br />
<br />
“That is your favorite thing to say, “I can manage”. <br />
<br />
James came over and wrapped a damp arm around my waist. I looked down at her.<br />
<br />
“You’re a girl.”<br />
<br />
James gave an exasperated sigh. “Stop being so provincial, Marshal. It is wasted on me. All I read these days is medical books. I am familiar with male anatomy. And, I’ve already seen yours – up close. Besides, you are falling off your feet. Now come along. I’ll hold it for you.”<br />
<br />
“Uh – .”<br />
<br />
“The pot, Marshall. I’ll hold the <i>pot</i>.”<br />
<br />
“I know what you meant,” I snapped.<br />
<br />
James held the pot in one hand and waited. When I fumbled a bit, she captured my wrist in her other hand to steady my aim. I made the mistake of looking down – right into the deep cleft between her breasts. In spite of my fever, I felt my shaft thicken. My stream faltered and my face burned. James gave no indication that she noticed, distracting me with threats to exile me to the barn for being such a difficult patient. She eased me onto the edge of the bed, brought me more tea and pounded my back while I coughed. <br />
<br />
I lay back on the pillows and drifted on the drugged tea. When James came back, she was dressed in the baggy pants and oversized jumper again. She smeared a pungent salve on my chest and neck, laid a clean cloth over it and pulled the heavy quilt up to my chin.<br />
<br />
She pressed her wrist to my forehead before retrieving the pot and going out. <br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 5<br />
<br />
I had no sense of how much time passed. I’d wake, coughing, struggling to draw breath, my body hot as if I lay on a bed of coals. James was there each time, to pound my back and force tea and broth on me or to roll me to my side, to keep me from drowning in the fluid that filled my lungs. I was seized by terrible stomach cramps and what I eliminated from my gut was watery and foul. James took it in stride, patiently washing the shit and sweat from my body and holding a folded towel between my legs when I became too weak to even use the chamber pot properly.<br />
<br />
I woke when my fever broke. I lay naked atop damp sheets with my hands folded on my chest. My eyelids and lips seemed glued shut and I was thirstier than I’d ever been in my life. I couldn’t swallow. I felt empty and cool. I heard a woman’s quiet sobbing. I felt a moment of panic because I thought I was dead. But dead men don’t need a piss and their stomachs don’t growl with hunger. <br />
<br />
And, as far as I know, they don’t have erections.<br />
<br />
I lifted my hands and rubbed my eyes until I could open one. James sat in the chair next to the bed with her hands covering her face. She was the source of the crying I heard.<br />
<br />
“I’m not dead,” I croaked.<br />
<br />
James stood and turned to me, quickly wiping her eyes with the flat of her fingers.<br />
<br />
“Yes, Marshal. You are very much alive,” she said, pouring a cup of water for me. She handed me the cup and tested my temperature with the inside of her wrist again. “You are still warm but much less so than last night.”<br />
<br />
I took a sip of water. It still hurt to swallow but the pain was more of a dull ache in the glands under my jaw, versus the searing rake that clawed my throat before. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My entire body felt tender and fragile. My breath rattled in my lungs but it was no longer the alarming gurgling sounds of a drowning man. I coughed gently, experimentally. That hurt, too. But I didn’t feel like my next cough might turn me inside out. I was on the mend. I looked at James. She was dressed like a boy but her hair billowed with soft ringlets down to the middle of her back. Her over-sized shirt hung off her shoulders such that the two buttons she’d left undone revealed a hint of her cleavage and the fullness it promised.<br />
<br />
I pulled the sheets over my lap.<br />
<br />
“How long?” I rasped.<br />
<br />
“Six days. You were delirious until yesterday afternoon then you were nearly comatose for the last eighteen hours. I couldn’t rouse you -- which, I must say, was actually more frightening than your thrashing and punching,” she said. “Three days ago you walked out into the storm while I was sleeping. Barefoot and naked, you nearly made it to the barn before I discovered you gone.”<br />
<br />
I rubbed my hand along my jaw. I had less than two days’ beard and I was clean and smelled faintly of James’s wood soap. Six days was a long time to tend a man you didn’t know.<br />
<br />
“The storm?”<br />
<br />
“Five days, now.”<br />
<br />
“James -- .”<br />
<br />
“Jimmy. Everybody calls me Jimmy.”<br />
<br />
“Jimmy. I have to tell you -- .”<br />
<br />
She held up a hand. “Wait. I have a clean nightshirt for you.”<br />
<br />
“I’d rather have my pants.”<br />
<br />
“No,” said James, shaking her head. “You are better but you are not well. You may walk around a bit so you can cough and help clear your lungs but other than that, it’s bed for you for the next several days.” She frowned, staring at me intently. “Your recovery is nothing short of miraculous. Any other man would be dead. Still, you need to convalesce. Do not argue, Marshal.”<br />
<br />
“I won’t,” I said. Truth be told, I felt weak as wet newsprint. “James?”<br />
<br />
She turned in the doorway. “Yes, marshal?”<br />
<br />
“How’d you get me back inside? You said I wondered out into the storm.”<br />
<br />
“Who is Pruit Dover?”<br />
<br />
I blinked, startled. “What?”<br />
<br />
“You were calling for him. I pretended to be him and you followed me back inside.” <br />
<br />
“Huh,” I mused.<br />
<br />
“Who is he?”<br />
<br />
“Someone I used to know.”<br />
<br />
“Well, he is your guardian angel, now. Another minute and I would have lost you in the storm,” she said. <br />
<br />
“James. I have to tell you --.”<br />
<br />
“Our mule found his way home. He was standing outside the barn when I retrieved you from your walkabout,” she said. She inhaled deeply through her nose and held her breath for a moment. “I’d hoped that Luc either stayed at the Fort or found shelter in the old prospector’s shanty.” <br />
<br />
“I’m sorry.”<br />
<br />
She covered her mouth with a trembling hand and hiccupped a sob into her palm. After several long seconds, she straightened, squaring her shoulders and swallowing hard.<br />
<br />
“Clyde’s legs and hindquarters are covered in bites.” She said. “Wolves must have....” She stopped and gazed at me. “You shot a wolf that morning.”<br />
<br />
“I found Lucien. I should’ve told you sooner.”<br />
<br />
Her hand fluttered to her neck. “Was he – did he –?” Her voice broke.<br />
<br />
“He didn’t suffer,” I said quickly. “He dismounted to climb the slope, slipped on a patch of ice and hit his head on a rock. In my opinion, he was ... gone right then. The wolves came after.”<br />
<br />
“But Clyde was bitten very badly.”<br />
<br />
“A horse would’ve run but a mule will fight first. To the wolves, Clyde wasn’t worth the trouble. I mean... I’m sorry.” I should have spared her that detail. “If you’ll look in my coat, I have his billfold in the inside pocket.” <br />
<br />
When she returned, she stood in the doorway with her hand at her side and the billfold dangling from her fingertips. In her other hand she held the cross necklace in the cup of her palm, her eyes round with horror. The chain was bunched and caked with dried blood. I cursed myself silently. I’d forgotten about the necklace. <br />
<br />
She clutched the bloody necklace in her fist and pressed it to her chest. She slid down the wall next to the doorframe, coming to rest with her legs drawn up. She laid her cheek on her bony knee, her body quaking with silent sobs. Her ankles were thin under the rolled cuff of her pants. They seemed somehow vulnerable, even covered with the thick socks she wore. She gulped for air, breathing in quick shallow bursts.<br />
<br />
I should’ve waited until I had all my wits about me before I told her about her brother. I had fucked <b>this </b>right and proper.<br />
<br />
“You need to breathe, James,” I said.<br />
<br />
I wrapped the sheet around my waist, slipped off the edge of the bed and sat next to her against the wall. After a moment’s hesitation, I pulled her into my arms, drawing her across my lap. As weak as I was, she still felt light as a feather pillow to me. She stiffened at first then collapsed against me and wailed like a heartbroken child – which was what she was, in spite of her protestations that nineteen years old was all grown up.<br />
<br />
Lucien’s was about as sad and lonely a death that I’ve ever seen. I’ve come across dead men on the prairie. While sad, most of those men had no one and nothing to return to. Lucien had a home and family. He had this girl and this farm with its odd menagerie; he had this warm little house. <br />
<br />
It was more than what I had. <br />
<br />
I held James, rocking her a bit and rubbing her back. She turned her face into my neck, making mournful crooning sounds. But her breathing had slowed and I no longer feared she would swoon. My chest was wet with her tears. I shivered and started to cough again. James sat up and gazed sadly into my face.<br />
<br />
“I’ll get you a fresh nightshirt,” she said, finally.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 6<br />
<br />
I convalesced over the next few days. The storm had stopped abruptly, the sun came out and the two feet of snow that had accumulated melted down to six inches of granulated ice. The air warmed enough that you could be comfortable working in shirt sleeves. James worked non-stop over those days before the real winter storms moved in and snow got too deep to navigate. I knew she just needed to keep moving. <br />
<br />
She worked quickly and efficiently, preparing the farm for the long winter. She came in well after dark each day, made my dinner and medicated tea then collapsed into bed. I watched from the window as she dug the haystack out and stowed it in the hay loft using a platform, pulleys and ropes tied to the burro and one of the goats when Buck refused to cooperate. Clyde the mule limped around the corral, looking on guiltily while the other animals did his job. James shooed all of the chickens into their barn roost after closing the coop for the winter then plucked twenty in one day to hang them high in the barn rafters for freezing.<br />
<br />
I woke from an afternoon nap to see her leading my horse out of the trees with a 3-point buck slung across his rump. The next day, she gutted and skinned the buck, kneeling on the ground like an Indian woman, scraping the fat off the hide with a flat, sharp rock. In my current state, I couldn’t do much to help – not that James would allow it – but she let me sit outside for a bit and bring her firewood, one stick at a time, while she dried strips of venison over a smoky fire in the yard. Mortimer sat at my feet and gnawed happily on the deer’s amputated ears. <br />
<br />
I kept her talking, asking innocuous questions, gently drilling down to the answers I really wanted. <br />
<br />
“James is a boy’s name,” I said, handing her another piece of wood.<br />
<br />
“Luc and I are twins,” she said.<br />
<br />
“That so.”<br />
<br />
“He came feet first. I came head first, two minutes later. Father named me James when I was only half out. My mother wrote my second name in the Bible but I never knew it until I learned to read.”<br />
<br />
“What is your middle name?”<br />
<br />
“Anna,” she said softly, looking embarrassed.<br />
<br />
“James Anna,” I said. I liked the feel of her full name in my mouth. There was no way I was calling her Jimmy.<br />
<br />
“It’s Jimmy, Marshal,” she sighed.<br />
<br />
She took off her battered hat and wiped her brow with the back of her wrist. Her hair was coiled in a bun at the nape of her neck. Some had escaped and curled in wispy ringlets around her face. It was the first time I’d seen her face, without the hat, in full sunlight. I had thought she was pretty in lamplight. Standing in the sun, dressed in a man’s trousers and shirt, she was beautiful.<br />
<br />
I immediately felt guilty. Many women were already married with a couple of children by the time they were James’s age but at nineteen, she was too young for me -- and too young for me to be thinking what I was thinking. <br />
<br />
It was my curse to fall a little in love with every woman I met -- my impulse to protect, Doc tells me. <br />
<br />
She rolled the kinks out of her neck and loosened another button on her shirt. I dragged my eyes away.<br />
<br />
“How long have you lived on this farm?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“Since I was an infant. My father brought us here as soon my mother, Luc and I were able to travel.”<br />
<br />
Her eyes filled but didn’t spill over. I hadn’t seen her cry since the night I held her on my lap.<br />
<br />
“It’s a pretty little valley,” I said. “A smart place to build a farm.”<br />
<br />
“My father said that life in Louisiana was untenable, even with the Emancipation,” she said, attacking the deer hide with the scraper. “New Orleans had a prosperous community of free people of color but it also had typhus, cholera and yellow fever. There were kidnappers and brigands everywhere else in the South. We were luckier than most. My father could pass for white. My grandfather was a wealthy plantation owner. He loved my grandmother and indulged her lavishly. Freed her, bought her a house in the French Quarter. He sent my father to Paris to be educated – and to protect him from his grown sons, who would’ve killed him or sold him into slavery if given the chance.”<br />
<br />
I’d heard about the families of plantation owners murdering or selling the master’s mulatto children to keep them from receiving an inheritance. It got worse when people thought that freed slaves could file a claim against their father’s estate – or what was left of it after the war.<br />
<br />
“I’m sorry to say that it hasn’t got much better for Negroes,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I have not been beyond Fort Hardy since my mother died. We tried to get her to Denver but the baby came early. It was beyond the doctoring my father could do,” she said.<br />
<br />
“I’m --.” I closed my mouth. I could tell she didn’t need to hear “I’m sorry” again. I watched her grimly grind out an ember beneath the heel of her boot.<br />
<br />
I looked around the orderly dooryard. It was a small farm but would need more than one person come planting and harvest season. The valley was isolated but more and more families were putting down stakes before they reached the California coast. There were competing railroad companies blasting through the mountains, now. Small towns built up around railroad trading posts. And with them came the killers and the spoilers. <br />
<br />
This place would not stay hidden for long.<br />
<br />
“You can’t stay here,” I said gently.<br />
<br />
Her jaw hardened, a stubborn line appearing between her brows. “This is my home.”<br />
<br />
“James Anna --.”<br />
<br />
“I will not leave it,” she yelled.<br />
<br />
“You’ll never be a doctor if you don’t.”<br />
<br />
“Go to <b>hell</b>,” she screamed, chucking the scraping stone at me. It grazed my ear, stinging, like a wasp. “You go to hell!”<br />
<br />
She leapt at me, connecting with enough force to knock me off the stump. I landed hard with her on top of me, flailing and kicking and pounding me with her fists. The fall knocked the wind out of me and in my weakened state, I was momentarily paralyzed. When I got my breath, I tried to grab her wrists. I finally just enveloped her in a bear hug. She was lightweight but strong. She kicked and bucked and bit me hard on the flesh above my heart. I was going to have bruises on top of bruises and even got cracked a good one in the balls. <br />
<br />
But I held on to her, letting her scream and beat her grief out on me. <br />
<br />
“Shh, honey,” I soothed. “Shh. I know.”<br />
<br />
Mortimer circled us, whining and letting out distressed little barks. <br />
<br />
She finally calmed enough that I let her go. She scrambled to her feet, snatched up her rifle and sprinted into the trees. Mortimer ran alongside her.<br />
<br />
I waited in the cabin an hour or so for James to return. It was late afternoon, the temperature was dropping rapidly and she’d left her coat draped on the porch rail. I was shrugging into my own coat to go find her when she walked into the cabin. Her braid had uncoiled and there were pine needles in her hair. There was a long, shallow scratch that followed the curve of her jaw. She stood at the threshold, shivering. I reached around her and closed the door. She ducked under my arm, flinching away from my touch. She sat down hard in the chair by the fire. I watched her for a moment then put on my hat and went out to put up the animals for the night.<br />
<br />
Dark, fat clouds with flat bottoms hung heavily over the valley and seemed to sink toward me as I watched. This could be the blizzard that would snow us in for the winter. I had hoped that the sunny weather might hold. A couple of days of that and I could make it down these mountains. But I was still too weak to ride very far. It was mid-December. I’d not get out of these mountains until the spring thaw. At this elevation, spring came as late as May. <br />
<br />
And I wasn’t going to leave without James.<br />
<br />
My people in Dodge would think I was dead. <i>My people</i>. Doc, Chester, Quint, a new friend named Festus and … Kitty.<br />
<br />
Doc was a practical man. After a reasonable amount of time, he’d accept the fact of my death, mourn my loss, perhaps, and move on. Chester would never give up hope. He’d die an old man, still waiting from me to ride down Front Street. Quint and Festus <i>might </i>come looking for me. When they didn’t find me, they’d stop looking and get drunk in my honor once a year.<br />
<br />
Kitty and I had a terrible row before I left -- the same one we’d had for the past seven years. My last words to her were, “If I wanted a wife, I’d go out a <i>find </i>one.” Kitty reared back like I’d struck her. It was a nasty thing to say. But I’d needed to end it with her and she needed a life without the hope of …me. Her hope was a burden that grew heavier and heavier as the years went by – for both of us. When I left Dodge, I rode by the Long Branch without a glance.<br />
<br />
With me “dead”, there was nothing holding Kitty to Dodge, not even the Long Branch. She could sell it today and retire to anywhere else in the world a wealthy woman. She could marry. She was still young enough to bear children, if that’s what she wanted. She could be happy. I did love Kitty and I wanted the best for her. <br />
<br />
What was best for her never was me.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 7<br />
<br />
I puttered around the barn until after dark, mucking out the stalls, oiling the tack and scrubbing the water troughs. I still had a bad cough but I was tired of inactivity and I wanted to give James some time alone in the house. I even stacked the hay in the loft and sharpened the tools. I lit a lamp in the barn and walked around the outside to see if any light shone through any holes that needed to be patched or loose boards that needed nailing down. The neat little barn was snug as a new boot. I looked at the house. James had lit the porch lamp. I figured that was my signal that it was safe to come back in.<br />
<br />
Buck rumbled and fluttered his lips at me when I went in to snuff the lamp. I walked over and scratched his ears. The burro and goats crowded into Clyde’s stall with him even though they had their own pen in the opposite corner. <br />
<br />
“Looks like this is home for now, boy,” I said. Buck turned in a circle then lay down on the hay and soft sand in his stall. He lifted his tail and broke wind. “Okay, then,” I laughed. “Don’t get too comfortable. We might be sharing that stall.”<br />
<br />
<b>******</b><br />
<br />
I climbed the porch stairs but hesitated at the door, not sure if I should knock or just go in. I decided to split the difference, rapping the door twice with my knuckles as I opened it. James sat with her back to the fire, reading a book. She’d cleaned herself up and now wore a simple brown dress made of heavy wool. Her hair was loose on her shoulders, damp but drying into a thicket of spirals. In spite of my earlier hesitation, I found myself closing the door and hanging my coat and hat next to it as if I’d lived there my whole life.<br />
<br />
James didn’t look up as I entered. I walked to the fireplace and stood at a careful distance, not wanting to crowd her. Mortimer ambled over and used my leg as a scratching post. Something simmered aromatically in a Dutch oven set over some coals. I stifled a cough.<br />
<br />
“I hitched up the guide ropes,” I said. <br />
<br />
You could get lost in your own dooryard during a blinding snow storm if you didn’t string up guide ropes. The ropes were fastened at each end to rings embedded in the walls of each of the outbuildings. There was a smaller rope with circle clamps on both ends – one for the guide rope and one for the belt of whoever needed to go to the barn or to the woodshed.<br />
<br />
“Thank you,” James said quietly.<br />
<br />
“I think this will be the storm that snows us in.”<br />
<br />
“Maybe.”<br />
<br />
I sat down in the other armchair. James looked up at me sharply then ducked her head and frowned severely at her book.<br />
<br />
“What is it?” I asked.<br />
<br />
She gave a tiny negative shake of her head. <br />
<br />
Since she had her back to the fireplace, we were facing each other. I reached over and rested my fingertips briefly on her knee. She didn’t pull away.<br />
<br />
“Talk,” I said softly.<br />
<br />
“That’s my father’s chair,” she whispered. “He --. He was a big man. Not like you but still very broad. It was the only chair in the house in which he was truly comfortable.”<br />
<br />
I flinched internally. To my great shame, the <i>last </i>way I wanted her to think of me was in a fatherly way. I changed the subject.<br />
<br />
“You have a large collection of books,” I said.<br />
<br />
Her chin started to tremble and she blinked back tears. Well, <i>shit</i>. That was the wrong thing to say. Those were probably her father’s books, too.<br />
<br />
“Yes,” she said. Her breath hitched in her chest.<br />
<br />
I leaned back in my chair which started a coughing fit. It was like magic. James’s mood changed instantly.<br />
<br />
She set aside her book, reached out and pressed the inside of her wrist against my forehead. She went back to doctoring, chiding me, fussing with medicated tea and soup and bullying me into bed early. <br />
<br />
“You must obey my orders, Marshal. You could still have a set-back that might kill you this time,” she scolded. <br />
<br />
I protested weakly, just to make her angry at me. Truth be told, I might have over-done it by stacking the hay in the loft. The other tasks were light work. Pitching hay and breathing in dust and chaff was probably not a good idea. <br />
<br />
“I can manage,” I grumbled. <br />
<br />
She slapped my hands away because, apparently, I <i>couldn’t </i>manage taking off my own boots. She straightened the bed and beat the pillows into shape while I undressed. I was pulling the nightshirt down over my head when she turned back to me.<br />
<br />
“Give me your jonny,” she said.<br />
<br />
I blinked. “Huh?”<br />
<br />
“Your undergarments need washing.”<br />
<br />
“Oh,” I said. I thought she meant something entirely different.<br />
<br />
She stood watching me expectantly. I turned my back, even though I was sufficiently covered by the nightshirt. James made an exasperated noise.<br />
<br />
“I know you’ve already seen me,” I snapped. I turned back with the “jonny” in my hands. “<i>Someone </i>has to maintain a sense of decorum around here,” I said.<br />
<br />
“You are being ridiculous,” said James. She snatched the garment from me and pointed sternly at the bed. <br />
<br />
James bustled around, in her element when she was caring for someone else. I grumbled and harrumphed just to keep her going. I lay back on the pillows and let her rub the pungent salve on my chest. She pulled up the heavy quilt and tucked it under my chin. The warm weight of the quilt and the drugged tea turned my limbs to jelly. James left and came back with a pan of steaming water that she placed on the bedside table. She leaned over me to adjust the pillows. I fancied that I could smell her, even over the sharp odor of the salve.<br />
<br />
Her scent was warm and sweet like a cedar wood fire. <br />
<br />
“You must stay in bed tomorrow, Marshal.”<br />
<br />
“Whatever you say, cowboy,” I said.<br />
<br />
She pressed the inside of her wrist against my forehead. <br />
<br />
“Your face is very flushed,” she said.<br />
<br />
I <i>was </i>feeling slightly feverish. Some of it was from pushing too hard doing chores; the rest, from the feel of her hands on my body.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 8<br />
<br />
I woke the following morning feeling very weak and almost as sick as I did before my fever broke. It was a pretty bad set-back but the fever didn’t get high enough to send me into a delirium and my cough was quiet if I rested propped up on pillows. <br />
<br />
James declared that I would live – unless she shot me.<br />
<br />
She was in and out over the next two days, busy with the last of the winter chores and checking on me. She’d rush in and press her wrist against my forehead in that way I was beginning to love. I found that she would linger if she thought I was sleeping. Once, she gently brushed my hair from my forehead with her fingers. <br />
<br />
There was something happening beyond the intimacy forced upon us by my illness and our isolation. There was a growing tension, a pleasant anticipation, like watching train approach with your lover on board.<br />
<br />
In the evenings, we’d start to read in front of the fireplace but after a few minutes, we talked to each other, our books abandoned in our laps. We talked about everything, her family, my people, her life in the valley, my life in Dodge City. I marveled at the ease with which I told her things that I never told anyone before. She listened intently, her eyes roaming my face as if she were memorizing every line and wrinkle. I was making my own memories of her – the way she chewed her bottom lip when she was thinking, her slightly over-sized ears and those eyes so startling in a dark face.<br />
<br />
I had a lot of time to think on it while I lay in bed. I meet women all the time that I’m attracted to. Most times, I shut it down. Other times, depending on the circumstances, I let it happen. If there was a time to shut it down, this was it. James was half my age. She was grieving and all alone in the world. Add to that, I was probably the first man she’d ever known, outside her father and brother. A man with less integrity would take advantage of that. I heard her muffled sobs at night. I wanted to go to her but I didn’t. It was bad enough that I was the one who found her brother. I did not want her feelings for me to become intertwined with her feelings of grief.<br />
<br />
She needed time and I was willing to wait.<br />
<br />
I wondered what Doc would say of me actually thinking about the future of – with – this woman. I couldn’t bring James to Dodge. I would not leave her all alone in this valley. “A skinny Negro girl? You can’t do <i>anything </i>the easy way, can you?” Doc would say. Being the practical man that he is, he would then advise me to shut it down.<br />
<br />
I couldn’t shut it down. This was going to happen. And like the time I fell off my horse and landed at her feet, I was helpless to stop it.<br />
<br />
<b>*****</b><br />
<br />
I was making a pot of coffee when James burst into the house, practically flying in on a blast of snow. She was wet to her knees and furred with ice crystals. I put down my cup and helped her close the door. The wind pushed heavily against it like a giant hand. James stomped and puffed and shivered as I helped her out of her coat and muffler. She clomped to the fire and sat in her chair.<br />
<br />
“Mr. Dillon, if you could help me with my boots?” she said, lifting her feet. “My fingers are too stiff.”<br />
<br />
I knelt at her feet and propped her boot on my thigh. I worked the laces free and tugged off the boot.<br />
<br />
“These are nearly frozen solid,” I said. “What were you thinking tramping around for so long?”<br />
<br />
“There’s barely a foot of snow on the ground in the fields. I needed to spread the compost on the corn field before the snow got too deep. We have been saving manure and leavings for a year. Seemed a shame to let it go to waste.”<br />
<br />
I tugged off her other boot.<br />
<br />
“It’s not worth losing toes over, cowboy. Your socks are wet.”<br />
<br />
“I might not get to the barn for a week. I had to --.”<br />
<br />
“I get it.” I peeled the soaked socks off her feet. I warmed her cold toes in my hands. “Next time, come in and dry off at some point. You don’t want to get as sick as I was.” <br />
<br />
“Being cold does not make you sick. That is a myth. In fact -- .”<br />
<br />
I gave her my most severe U.S. Marshal frown. Her mouth snapped shut. The smell of compost rose as the ice on her pants began to melt. I stood and filled the large kettle with water and swung it over the fire. I shouldered into my coat and headed for the back door.<br />
<br />
“You just told me to stay indoors,” said James.<br />
<br />
“I’m just going to the woodshed,” I said, ignoring her protests. The shed was only a few feet away from the house. When I went to fetch more wood earlier, I saw a tin tub propped against the wall. I paused at the door for a moment. The wind blew the snow almost horizontal. I could still see pretty well but soon, visibility would be zero and the guide ropes would be needed even to go to the few yards to the wood shed. Fortunately, I had stocked the large wood box in the anteroom off the kitchen while James worked in the field. I retrieved the tub, went back inside and set it close to the fireplace.<br />
<br />
James watched me with an arched brow. “I don’t need the tub, Mr. Dillon.”<br />
<br />
There were three large barrels of water for cooking and drinking in the anteroom with the wood box. It was enough to last two weeks if we got snowed in but washing would be limited to sponge baths. I picked up the bucket and walked through to the front door.<br />
<br />
“It’s not too late for me fetch a couple buckets of water, James. You’re still shivering and you <i>stink</i>.”<br />
<br />
I opened the door. Mortimer stood on the porch with a huge snow rabbit in his mouth. He dropped it at my feet and pushed it toward me with his nose when I didn’t immediately pick it up.<br />
<br />
“Thanks, Mortimer. Looks like dinner and maybe a new hat,” I said. He wagged his tail vigorously and looked up at me with merry eyes, now my new best friend.<br />
<br />
It took two trips to fill the tub and re-fill the kettle. When I came in the second time, James was undressing. I averted my eyes as I refilled the kettle and poked up the fire. <br />
<br />
I went to hang my coat and hat. I stood by the door with my back to her. I heard a small splash. I breathed deeply through my nose. <br />
<br />
“Do you have a curtain or...something?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“I usually do this in my bedroom,” she said.<br />
<br />
“Oh.” I turned and focused my attention on the far wall. “I’ll wait in my room until you’re done.”<br />
<br />
“You can’t.”<br />
<br />
I stopped. “Why not?” I asked the far wall.<br />
<br />
“That rabbit needs to be prepared now.”<br />
<br />
“It can wait.”<br />
<br />
“Have you ever skinned and gutted a cold and stiff rabbit, Marshal?”<br />
<br />
Yes, I had but I didn’t tell her that. The gentlemanly thing to do was just shut myself in the room until she finished her bath and deal with a stiff rabbit later. I took another deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips.<br />
<br />
“Ok,” I said.<br />
<br />
I walked into the kitchen and began sharpening a knife.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 9<br />
<br />
The wind swirled violently around the house, rattling the shutters and whistling under the eaves, searching for a way in. If this storm didn’t break, we had a day, maybe two that we could get to the outbuildings with relative ease. After that, it would be a once-a-week expedition using snow shoes and the guide ropes.<br />
<br />
James Anna and I would have a lot of time in close quarters, free from distractions. <br />
<br />
It had only been three and a half weeks since I arrived here. I wasn’t quite myself yet but I could feel my strength returning – and with it, my libido. There were things I could do to help re-gain my strength and blow off steam – push-ups, calisthenics that I learned in the army. As far as my <i>other </i>urges, there were things that could be done about that, too. The problem was, I hadn’t been with a woman for several months, which made … things a lot harder to deal with. Taking myself in hand just wasn’t going to be enough.<br />
<br />
I realized with a pang that in all of our long conversations in front of the fire, I’d never mentioned Kitty to James.<br />
<br />
Over the years, my relationship with Kitty waxed and waned. There were times when I visited her rooms every night and often came back for more during the day. We tore at each other in a fever of lust, barely taking time to remove our clothes. Other times, it was meals at Delmonico’s or drinks and conversation at the Long Branch. The last couple of years, the times we were lovers shortened and the time we were “just friends” lengthened. The sex, if we had it, was perfunctory and empty and left me feeling a little lonely.<br />
<br />
On occasion, if I happened to be in Wichita or St. Louis, I took lover. I kept these encounters to myself but if there was one thing Kitty knew, it was a man who had just fucked another woman. She seemed to ignore it, but I was fooling myself if I believed that, if it meant nothing more than a man’s release to me, it would mean the same to Kitty. <br />
<br />
Being with the Wichita or St. Louis women began to wear on me, though. I didn’t like the feeling that I was sneaking around. I liked even less the feeling that I was using these women to stave off the inevitable. On top of that, I repeatedly told Kitty that we couldn't be together, while my actions held her to me. It was dishonorable behavior and I needed to start thinking with the head on my shoulders and not the one hanging between my legs.<br />
<br />
In the months leading up to our big row, I kept myself to myself and my cock in my pants. I thought celibacy might lend me some clarity. Celibacy did lend me some clarity, just not in the way that I thought.<br />
<br />
A wise old man once said to me, “Pray to God but send for a doctor.” What I believe he was trying to say was, ask and it shall be answered – just not in the way that you think. The Lord will give you what you need. You have to get out of your head, see it, take it -- or leave it. I lay on that ridge above this valley preparing to die when James Anna Lémieux stepped out unto her porch and lit a lantern. <br />
<br />
The Lord provided and I needed to take heed.<br />
<br />
But here I was -- a man who claimed to be unafraid of <i>dying </i>-- cleaning a god damned rabbit with my back to the most beautiful and unlikely future I could ever imagine, my body braced like I was about to take a bullet, rather than go all-in with a nineteen year old, one hundred and fifteen-pound black girl.<br />
<br />
I sat at the kitchen table while I cleaned the rabbit with James bossing me from the bath tub about how to properly prepare it. She kept up a steady stream of chatter and questions to which I half-listened, responding with grunts and monosyllables, trying to keep my mind on not severing my thumb instead of the thought of her body made soft and warm from her bath.<br />
<br />
“Give the feet and ears to Mortimer,” James said.<br />
<br />
“Sure,” I said.<br />
<br />
“But not the whole head. He should not eat the brain.”<br />
<br />
“Right.”<br />
<br />
“One of the chickens laid an egg. It is far past egg season.”<br />
<br />
“Huh.”<br />
<br />
“Do you think it will hatch?”<br />
<br />
“Maybe.”<br />
<br />
“Remind me to fetch the snow shoes from the woodshed.”<br />
<br />
“Okay.”<br />
<br />
I chopped the rabbit into parts and placed it in a pot. I gave the liver and heart to Mortimer and minced the entrails for chicken feed. I decided to finish the job and sliced onions and carrots for stew. I rummaged through the cupboard opening jars and sniffing the contents. I found some laurel and dropped a couple of leaves and a few peppercorns in with the rabbit. <br />
<br />
“Where’d you learn to cook, Marshal?”<br />
<br />
“Picked it up here and there.”<br />
<br />
“You’re pretty skilled for a bachelor.”<br />
<br />
“Could be.”<br />
<br />
“I’ll wager you have left a trail of heartbroken, doe-eyed shop girls with ruffled skirts and flowing golden hair.”<br />
<br />
“Never had much luck with blonds.”<br />
<br />
I picked up the pot and carried it to the fireplace. I set it in some coals off to the side. I added a log and jabbed at it with the poker. I stared into the flames. <br />
<br />
“There’s no one waiting for you back in Dodge City, Mr. Dillon?”<br />
<br />
Right then, with that question, I made my decision. I have been told by everyone I know that I think too much, but after all my mental contortions, it ended up feeling as easy as turning a page in a book. <br />
<br />
I finally looked at James.<br />
<br />
“I have a first name, you know,” I said.<br />
<br />
She gazed at me with her head cocked. She raised a hand to swipe a strand of hair from her cheek, briefly revealing her breast above the cloudy bathwater that hid the rest of her body. I lifted the kettle from its hook over the fire and added more hot water to her bath. I put the kettle back and pulled a chair to the side of the tub. <br />
<br />
“You side-stepped my question,” she said, watching me with narrowed eyes.<br />
<br />
I scooped the sponge out of the water.<br />
<br />
“Sit up, cowboy” I said.<br />
<br />
James leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her knees, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. <br />
<br />
I dipped the sponge back into the water and began to wash the smooth brown skin on her back with slow circular strokes. James bowed her head and sighed deeply.<br />
<br />
“There was someone waiting for me back in Dodge,” I said. “I told her to stop.”<br />
<br />
“Did you love her?”<br />
<br />
“I always will.”<br />
<br />
“Then why did you leave her?”<br />
<br />
“Lawmen make a lot of enemies. It's not always safe for the people close to me.”<br />
<br />
“Outlaws bent on revenge?”<br />
<br />
“That and -- .”<br />
<br />
“And what, Matthew?”<br />
<br />
“Always some young buck looking to make a reputation,” I said. I squeezed suds from the sponge and watched them slide down her back. “Always another man to kill,” I murmured.<br />
<br />
"How many?"<br />
<br />
"Enough."<br />
<br />
"Do you think about quitting?"<br />
<br />
"Every day."<br />
<br />
"Then why don't you?"<br />
<br />
"Never had a good enough reason."<br />
<br />
"What's a good enough reason?"<br />
<br />
I hooked a finger under a long ringlet of hair that had escaped her bun, pulled it straight and released it.<br />
<br />
"Don't you want a family? Children?" she asked.<br />
<br />
"I'd need to disappear. Live somewhere far away, where people don't know me. It’s a lot to ask of someone to do that with me."<br />
<br />
She gazed at me for a long moment then looked away. She stood and stepped out of the tub. She tugged a sheet off the chair wrapped it around her body. She turned her back to me. Her neck was slick with water and steam curled off her shoulders. I walked around the tub so we faced each other. I stood close and looked down at her bowed head. <br />
<br />
"I'll bet there are plenty of women who would go anywhere with you, if you asked,” she said, her voice a near whisper.<br />
<br />
"Maybe you could introduce me to a couple."<br />
<br />
"I don't know any white women. In fact, I don't know any women at all."<br />
<br />
I lifted her chin with my knuckle.<br />
<br />
"I guess it's just you, then,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Do not pity me, Marshal,” she said, her eyes flashing.<br />
<br />
“That’s the last thing I feel for you.”<br />
<br />
She stepped out of my reach and wound the sheet more tightly around herself. She frowned down at her feet.<br />
<br />
"You would stay here for me?" she asked.<br />
<br />
I was done. I felt everything I thought I knew about myself come apart in my chest. This girl had roped me in and set her brand upon my heart.<br />
<br />
“I might jump off a cliff if you asked me to,” I said.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
<br />
~~Chapter 10<br />
<br />
James stared up at me; I stared down at her.<br />
<br />
I wanted to touch her, to draw my finger along the line of her jaw, down her neck and over the rounded muscle of her shoulder but I didn’t want to spook her. I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming over her body. Her breasts were heavy for such a slender woman and they were clearly visible through the wet sheet she used as a towel. I squeezed my hands into fists then flexed my fingers, keeping my arms stiff at my sides. I took a step back.<br />
<br />
“Let’s talk after you put some clothes on,” I said.<br />
<br />
I waited until she disappeared into her room then found my saddle bag. I fished around in the small hidden compartment at the bottom. I took out what was in there and slipped it into my pocket. I took a deep breath then blew it out slowly through pursed lips, feeling more nervous at that moment than I did when kicked in a door to a room full of armed outlaws. That was just facing death. This was facing ... the rest of my life.<br />
<br />
I picked up James’s smelly pile of clothes and sank them into her bathwater to soak. Mortimer scratched at the door and I let him out to his snug little house on the porch. I fussed with the coals under the pot of rabbit stew. I toyed with the thought of making apple biscuits. I pictured Doc watching me in that keen way he had when he thought I might be sick with something. I finally settled into my chair in front of the fire with a cup of coffee. <br />
<br />
James stepped out of her room and stood close to the wall next to the doorway with her hands in the pockets of yet another pair of baggy dungarees. Her hair was fashioned in a loose queue draped over her shoulder. A pink ribbon was tied in a bow at the end. I felt a tug in my heart at something as simple as a little pink bow. I sipped my coffee and waited for her to speak.<br />
<br />
“You really <i>would </i>stay?” she asked.<br />
<br />
“If that’s what you want,” I said.<br />
<br />
“You have a life outside of this valley, I do not.”<br />
<br />
“You could.”<br />
<br />
“With you?”<br />
<br />
“I’m prepared to beg,” I said and I wasn’t kidding. <br />
<br />
James was silent for so long that I wavered for a moment, thinking that perhaps I <i>should </i>get down on one knee. I began to believe that I'd made a mistake, that I’d misread her. That it was too soon. That her silence was her reluctance to hurt my feelings. Even if she said yes, did she love me? She was so young and innocent. How could she know what it was, anyway?<br />
<br />
“Listen, James -- ,” I began.<br />
<br />
“I always thought I’d be a doctor, not a … wife,” she said, finally.<br />
<br />
“I don’t mind doing the cooking," I said.<br />
<br />
James blinked. “You would let me be a doctor?”<br />
<br />
“Since when have you ever asked my permission for anything?”<br />
<br />
“It’s illegal for a white man to marry a Negro.”<br />
<br />
“Not in Kansas.”<br />
<br />
“I thought you wanted to be far from there.”<br />
<br />
I stared into my cup of coffee. My reflection was faint and dappled with firelight.<br />
<br />
“I have to go back,” I said. “I need to take care of some business, say goodbye to my … people. But after that, we can go anywhere you like. In San Francisco, people tend to mind their own business. There’s ... work for me there. But Doc tells me there's a good medical school in Mexico City, if you’re of a mind.”<br />
<br />
“What about the woman in Dodge?”<br />
<br />
“Kitty.”<br />
<br />
“You -- you said you love ... Kitty.”<br />
<br />
“Not like this.” <br />
<br />
“Does she know?”<br />
<br />
“It’s a fight we had for seven years.”<br />
<br />
“Sounds painful.”<br />
<br />
“It’s over.”<br />
<br />
“I doubt Kitty thinks so.”<br />
<br />
I stood and faced her.<br />
<br />
“I can’t make Kitty stop loving me, James. The truth is, she will always be close to my heart. But I’ve only ever felt this way about one woman and I let her die in my arms without telling her. I vowed that if I was lucky enough to find another, I would tell her every day so I could die with those words on my lips.”<br />
<br />
She regarded me for a long moment then raised a wry brow. “You’ve been reading too much Byron,” she said.<br />
<br />
“I thought that was pretty good.”<br />
<br />
James laughed. “It was very nice.”<br />
<br />
“It occurs to me that you haven’t answered my question,” I said.<br />
<br />
“You haven’t actually asked me one.”<br />
<br />
I reached into my pants pocket and fished out a ring. The plain gold band was slender but felt heavy in my palm. It seemed to glow in the firelight.<br />
<br />
“Doc won this in a bar game. He carried it around for a year then gave it to me as a joke. Now, I’m not so sure he was joking.” I took her hand. “It will be a while before we can stand before a preacher but I’d be proud if you’d wear it now.” <br />
<br />
I slipped the ring on her finger. I took a step back. I didn’t know what to do with my hands so I hooked my thumbs through my belt.<br />
<br />
“Be my wife, James Anna.”<br />
<br />
She flung herself at me. I caught her, stumbling back. She pecked hard kisses all over my face, her fingers wringing my hair.<br />
<br />
“I guess that’s a yes,” I said, fighting to stay upright. <br />
<br />
I hiked her up so that I held her full length against me. She leaned back. She held my face between her warm hands.<br />
<br />
“Yes. Yes! I <i>love </i>you, Marshal. I’ve loved you since you fell off your horse and landed at my feet.”<br />
<br />
“It was over for me when you pointed that big old rifle at my head.”<br />
<br />
“But you thought I was a boy.”<br />
<br />
“Obviously, <i>part </i>of me didn’t.”<br />
<br />
“It’s very strange,” she said.<br />
<br />
“I know a couple of people who would not disagree with you.”<br />
<br />
“I felt as if … as if I <i>knew </i>you were coming. Does that make sense?”<br />
<br />
I shrugged with a tilt of my head. “Makes as much sense as anything else. I put that ring on my mantle and forgot about it. Before I rode out of Dodge, I actually went back into my house to get it.”<br />
<br />
“This farm will become yours,” said James.<br />
<br />
“I don’t believe in that. What’s yours is yours. I don’t have much but what’s mine, is ours.”<br />
<br />
“We are a family, now.”<br />
<br />
We gazed at each other in the low light. I set her back on her feet. <br />
<br />
“It won’t be easy,” I said quietly. “Once we leave the valley -- .”<br />
<br />
“What happens next?” James asked.<br />
<br />
“Well, we go to Dodge after the thaw.”<br />
<br />
“I mean, now.”<br />
<br />
“That rabbit needs another hour or so before the potatoes go in,” I said. “I thought I’d make apple biscuits. I’ve got a craving for something sweet … What?”<br />
<br />
“In the Bible, a betrothal is as lawfully binding as a marriage,” said James.<br />
<br />
It finally got through my thick skull what she was talking about. All the blood from my brain rushed to my sex. I put my hands in my pockets and made a minor adjustment in the position of my cock.<br />
<br />
“Do you know what you’re asking?” I said.<br />
<br />
“We will be in this cabin together for months.”<br />
<br />
“Don’t you want to uh, wait?”<br />
<br />
“No.”<br />
<br />
Her expression was so earnest that I turned my face to the side and tried not to grin.<br />
<br />
“Okay. Sure,” I said. “I guess we could ... not wait.”<br />
<br />
“You needn’t worry that you might injure me. I know what to expect. My anatomy book says that if you -- .”<br />
<br />
“All right, all right. It’s not surgery,” I laughed, wrapping my hands around her waist. “I may not know much else about women but trust me when I tell you that I don’t need any anatomy book.”<br />
<br />
“I may have questions,” said James.<br />
<br />
<br />
I pulled her close. “I don’t think you will,” I murmured.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
<br />
~~ Chapter 11<br />
<br />
I hooked my fingers into James’ waistband and pulled her to me. I smiled.<br />
<br />
“What is funny?” she asked.<br />
<br />
“I never thought I’d be taking somebody’s pants down for ... this.”<br />
<br />
James frowned, confused. “What does it matter?” she asked. “I am a woman.”<br />
<br />
“What I mean is – I know you’re a woman – never mind,” I said.<br />
<br />
I leaned down kissed James deeply, lifting her with my hands on her buttocks. I felt her lips part beneath mine and I waited, letting her lightly explore my mouth with her tongue. After a moment, she moaned softly and her legs came around my waist. Butterflies beat a hurricane in my belly. I staggered a little -- not because of the weight of her in my arms. <br />
<br />
“Whoa,” I gasped. “I need to put you down before I drop you.”<br />
<br />
“I’m so sorry,” James exclaimed. “You still haven’t got your strength back.” She gripped both my forearms and started tugging me toward the bedroom. <br />
<br />
“I’m fine, James.”<br />
<br />
“You lie down and take a nap first.”<br />
<br />
“Now you’re just making me feel old.”<br />
<br />
“If you’re sure,” she said with a worried frown, pressing the inside of her wrist against my forehead.<br />
<br />
“I haven’t been this sure about anything in a long time.”<br />
<br />
I walked James backwards into her bedroom and sat her on the edge of the bed. I got down on one knee and brought her fingers to my lips. I gazed at the gold band and stroked across it with my thumb. The ring felt warm and solid and ... <i>permanent</i>. <br />
<br />
Permanence – something I chased since I was four years old.<br />
<br />
I’d wanted to make Dodge my home but a part of me had always been restless. My sense of duty and need for justice compelled me to make Dodge a safe home for other people. Somewhere deep down, I knew that my peace had to be found somewhere else.<br />
<br />
I knew then that that somewhere else was here with this woman, on my knees, like a man praying. <br />
<br />
I felt disoriented for a second, as if the world had somehow shifted. The pieces of myself that I earlier felt come apart in my chest drew back together. My heart seemed to stop for a moment then began to beat again in a different rhythm – slower and steadier than it was before. I sat back on my heels and pulled her into my arms with her legs straddling my lap. I held her tightly. <br />
<br />
“I love you, James Anna,” I whispered.<br />
<br />
James ran her hands over my shoulders and into my hair. The ring scratched bluntly against my scalp in a way that made me shiver. Her lips traveled from my ear, across my cheek to my mouth, her tongue no longer tentative. She leaned back and began to unbutton her shirt. I covered her hands with mine.<br />
<br />
“I know you read your anatomy books but there are some things that they probably don’t write about.” I said.<br />
<br />
“Such as?”<br />
<br />
“Such as, well, we might not be able to ... you know, the first time,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I knew it,” James cried. “You are over-tired. I told you -- .”<br />
<br />
“That’s not what I mean, James. Sometimes, if a woman has never been with a man, it might take a couple of ... tries.”<br />
<br />
“I believe I understand what you’re saying. Not to worry,” she said firmly. “I have already explored using my fingers and a hand mirror and –.”<br />
<br />
“You don’t have to explain,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I could show you.”<br />
<br />
“Maybe later.”<br />
<br />
“You are right that my books do not depict female genitalia as meticulously as they do male genitalia,” said James.<br />
<br />
“I can probably fill in some of the details for you,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Are you sure you’re not too tired, because you seem to be taking a long time to get down there.”<br />
<br />
“What? I’m not --.” I sighed. “Let’s just start over, here.”<br />
<br />
I lifted her off my lap and unto the edge of the bed, gripped the hem of her pants and dragged them down her slim hips, peeling off her long jonny in the process. The bed was narrow so I remained kneeling on the floor.<br />
<br />
I gently opened her legs with my hands on her knees. Her skin was soft from the oil she’d rubbed into it after her bath. Her slender legs were firm with muscle, as sleek and dark as polished wood. I started from her knee with kisses, little licks and nips, up to the tender hollow where the inside of her thigh met the mound of her sex. I ran my fingers through the sparse, soft curls that were so different from Kitty’s, whose bush was bright and dense and covered her sex entirely.<br />
<br />
I lifted James’s knees to her chest so that she was completely open to me. I could see the center of her, wet and startlingly pink amid the dark folds.<br />
<br />
I looked up at James. She was propped on her elbows and staring down at me with intense curiosity. I knew she was going to watch everything I did so to forestall the inevitable questions, I figured that I would just explain everything as we went along.<br />
<br />
“I’m going to – it’s like a kiss,” I said. “It feels good. It will make you ... ready for me.”<br />
<br />
James exhaled softly. “Okay,” she breathed.<br />
<br />
I stroked my tongue lightly along the length of her sex, and then pressed my lips softly against her bud. I lifted my eyes to James and asked a question with raised brows.<br />
<br />
James nodded.<br />
<br />
I got down to the business of meticulously educating her on various parts of “female genitalia” using my lips and tongue and very gently, my fingers. I don’t know how much time passed. I barely remember taking off my own clothes. I sat back on my heels after leaving her trembling and gasping for the third time. I rubbed the back of my head.<br />
<br />
“I think you pulled out a chunk of my hair,” I said, grinning.<br />
<br />
“I didn’t know that would happen,” she gasped. “I felt like I was falling and falling! Does it feel like that for you?”<br />
<br />
“I guess it does feel like falling, more or less, depending.”<br />
<br />
“Depending what?”<br />
<br />
“A lot of things. If I’m hungry or tired or sick.” I brought her foot to my lips and kissed her instep. “Who I’m with.”<br />
<br />
“Will it be good with me?”<br />
<br />
“It will always be good with you.”<br />
<br />
“What you did to me…what is it called?”<br />
<br />
“I won’t repeat what I’ve heard it called,” I said. I paused. Incredibly, I felt a blush bloom on my cheeks. “In Pawnee it’s ‘ta tsa’paat kiit’su --roughly translated into “to lap from the spring like a doe.”<br />
<br />
“You did not lap me like a doe, Matt.”<br />
<br />
“I’m not Pawnee,” I chuckled.<br />
<br />
“We have not officially ... consummated.”<br />
<br />
“I think this counts.”<br />
<br />
“I shall like you to do it every day.”<br />
<br />
I gazed with amusement at her very serious face. “I’ll do my best,” I said.<br />
<br />
I stood from my kneeling position at the side of the bed. “Right now, I’m going to add those potatoes to that rabbit stew.” <br />
<br />
I pulled on my pants and padded barefoot into the kitchen. As I tended to the stew, I found myself thinking that sandier ground would yield bigger potatoes than the pitiful ones I dropped whole into the pot.<br />
<br />
I also caught myself softly singing <i>Run Rabbit run/the dog’s gonna catch ya/run Rabbit run/you better get away</i>.<br />
<br />
I lit a lamp and opened the door to see if the snow was getting too deep to walk in without snowshoes. Mortimer stood stiffly on the porch staring intently into the trees. <br />
<br />
I blew out the lamp and blinked into the darkness. It had stopped snowing but I couldn’t see much beyond the tree line, twenty yards away. I watched Mortimer sniff the air. He cocked his head at the trees, chuffed low in his chest then sniffed again. He looked up at me then turned with the dog equivalent of a shrug and ambled into the house. I peered into the dark. After a full minute, it came to me that I wore neither shirt nor shoes in the freezing wind and would incur the wrath of James should she see me. Also, even with the lamp out, I made a large and clear target, silhouetted by the light inside the house. <br />
<br />
I closed the door and watched Mortimer drink from his dish of water by the fireplace. He was a good farm dog – protective of James and the other animals. He’d marked a territory in a wide semi-circle around the farm that James said even the wolves wouldn’t cross. If he wasn’t concerned, maybe I should not have been either. <br />
<br />
But my years as a lawman told me to trust my senses and to always err on the side of caution. I barred the door, placing the thick, rough-hewn board in the heavy iron hooks embedded in the stone wall. I strode into the bedroom.<br />
<br />
“Get dressed, James – in pants.”<br />
<br />
“What is it, Matt?”<br />
<br />
“Probably nothing. And hide your hair under your hat.”<br />
<br />
James slipped of the bed and did as I said, watching me with wide eyes as I shrugged into my shirt. We both jumped when Mortimer barked loudly, twice.<br />
<br />
“Matt --.”<br />
<br />
“Quiet,” I hissed. James flinched and blinked up at me. “Stay here,” I said more gently. “If things get … rough, go out the window, run to the barn.”<br />
<br />
“I won’t leave you.”<br />
<br />
“You take Buck and ride to Fort Hardy.”<br />
<br />
“No,” said James.<br />
<br />
She had that steely look in her eyes, like the time she pointed the buffalo gun at my head. She was as calm and still. Here was the gunman I saw in her that first day.<br />
<br />
I went into the other room and came back with her rifle.<br />
<br />
“Go to the pantry and stay there,” I said. “Hide behind the water barrels.” She could still slip out the back if things went sour. She nodded once but didn’t move.<br />
<br />
Mortimer snuffled at the crack under the door, whining softly. He didn’t bark again.<br />
<br />
“I’m going to be plenty embarrassed if it’s just a snow hare,” I whispered.<br />
<br />
A horse whinnied in the dooryard. James raised her brows.<br />
<br />
I eased over to the door and got my gun. There was the muffled thud of boots on the porch stairs. There was a long moment when the only sound was the wind in the eaves and the snap of the fire. Mortimer reared up and put his paws on the door. His tail was up and his ears were pricked but he was quiet. <br />
<br />
“Who’s there?” I called.<br />
<br />
“Please. Could I trouble you to put up me and my horse in your barn?” <br />
<br />
An outlaw would ask to come in the house.<br />
<br />
“How many are you?” I asked loudly.<br />
<br />
“Just me. I’m alone.” <br />
<br />
Even through the thick door I could tell he spoke through chattering teeth. The voice was not that of a young man. I felt some of the tension leave my body but I cocked my gun and pressed against the wall when I lifted the door bar. I cracked the door. Mortimer stuck his big head through, his tail wagging.<br />
<br />
“Hey, fella,” said the man. “I never met a dog that could talk.”<br />
<br />
I swung the door open. The man on the porch was swaddled in blankets secured to his body with a thin rope around his shoulders. His hat was held low on his head by a tattered wool muffler knotted under his chin. He shivered violently. I stepped back so the light would fall on his face. Blue eyes sparked under bushy brows. My mouth actually dropped open.<br />
<br />
“<i>Doc</i>?” I croaked.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~ Chapter 12<br />
<br />
Doc took a shuffling step. “I can’t feel my feet,” he said.<br />
<br />
I scooped him up in my arms, kicked the door closed then carried him to the chair by the fire.<br />
<br />
“Not too close,” said James.<br />
<br />
I pulled him and the chair back a couple of feet.<br />
<br />
“Fetch a bucket, Matt.” James bent down and looked into Doc’s face. “Dr. Adams. My name is Jimmy. We need to get you out of these wet clothes. Your shoes are frozen. This is going to hurt. But I think you know that.” She turned to me. “When you get him undressed, put his feet in warm water.” She rushed to the door and pulled on her coat.<br />
<br />
“Where are you going?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“I will put up his horse while you help him out of his clothes.”<br />
<br />
“I can put up the horse,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I think it might be best if I did it,” said James, pointedly.<br />
<br />
We stared at each other for a long moment. Even though I now knew we weren’t being stalked by some murdering outlaw, I was still feeling a little spooked.<br />
<br />
“Take the dog,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I’ll be back directly.”<br />
<br />
I nodded, resisting the urge to fasten the top button of her coat. I felt momentarily lost when she went out the door.<br />
<br />
When I turned back to Doc, he was slumped forward in the chair. I walked over and started to unknot the rope that held the blankets around his shoulders. His ears and the tip of his nose were white and his lips were cracked and bleeding a little.<br />
<br />
“You got to stay awake for me, Doc,” I said, giving him a little shake. He mumbled something but didn’t open his eyes. I shook him again. He opened his eyes and nodded.<br />
<br />
“I’m awake,” he whispered.<br />
<br />
I carefully unwrapped him from his swaddling. The blankets were so thick with ice that they nearly stood on their own when I set them on the floor. I pulled off his hat and muffler. I rubbed the ice out of his hair with a towel. He’d used leather blacksmith’s mittens padded with horse hair to protect his hands. They were cold and stiff but still bright pink. I had to massage his arms and shoulders for several minutes before I could get them to unlock enough so I could take off his coat. His jacket, waistcoat and shirt were wet through but fortunately not frozen. I peeled them off, leaning him forward against my shoulder like I’d seen women do with their babies. I knelt and gently pried his frozen boots from his feet. I got him out of his pants and jonny, gently patted him dry and wrapped him in a quilt. I left his socks on. I figured I’d let his feet soak for a bit before we tried to take them off. <br />
<br />
When I eased his poor feet into the bucket of water, I felt his hand come to rest on the top on my bent head. I looked up at him and he pressed his fingertips briefly to my cheek. There was love for me in his eyes – love and a profound relief. I realized in that moment, that <i>he </i>was what I meant when I talked to James about <i>my people</i>. It was Doc before any of the others, the only man in Dodge I could call a friend for over a year. He was the closest thing I ever had to a father.<br />
<br />
And he had come for me, alone and in the dead of winter – the act of a father, for his son.<br />
<br />
I rubbed his head with the towel again, massaged his arms and shoulders and tucked the quilt more securely around him, using all that fussing as an excuse to touch him, to hold him briefly, tightly in my arms. I added more hot water to the bucket and found some salve to smear on his cracked lips and wind-burnt face. I kept at him until his shivering calmed and he started to grumble. I stood and poured him a cup of coffee. I steadied his hands as he took a few sips.<br />
<br />
“I can manage,” he snapped.<br />
<br />
I held up my hands palms out. I stepped away and poured my own cup of coffee. I watched him as he took note of his surroundings: the wall of books, the faded Oriental rug, the gleaming escritoire tucked in a corner under the fine oil painting of James’s mother on her wedding day.<br />
<br />
“Nice place,” he said.<br />
<br />
“How the hell did you find me?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“Blind, stupid luck.”<br />
<br />
“Stupid is right.”<br />
<br />
“And Bill Hickok.”<br />
<br />
I raised my brows. “Huh?” I said.<br />
<br />
“He came through looking for you, took me to dinner instead. I told him that you went after Jonas Cooker and ... well, the <i>look </i>on his face, Matt. Scared me to death.”<br />
<br />
“Why?”<br />
<br />
“He told me that Cooker was the worse man he ever met.” Doc shook his head. “No, no. He said <i>evil</i>. Plain evil.”<br />
<br />
Jonas Cooker was a sadistic rapist who had murdered two young women and a twelve year old girl – and those were the ones we knew of. When I caught up to him, he got me in the leg. I squeezed a shot off as I went down, hitting him in the body. His life’s blood was pumping out of a hole in his chest but he pointed at me and laughed. <br />
<br />
“They told me you was some kind of revenging <i>angel</i>, Dillon,” he said. “You ain’t no angel. You’re a <i>man</i>. Just like me. I’m fixin’ to get out of this. Just like them other times.”<br />
<br />
“You’re going to hang, Cooker,” I said.<br />
<br />
“You got <i>nothing</i>, Dillon. Judge’ll let me go and I go back to living my life. You watch. They ain’t got no evidence against me. Besides, them little <i>cunts </i>was begging for it. You should’ve heard them squeal. They loved it.”<br />
<br />
I stood over him and looked him in the eyes. They were the color of clear water and absolutely empty. He coughed a bubble of dark phlem and smiled at me with bloody teeth.<br />
<br />
“They <i>loved </i>it,” he croaked.<br />
<br />
I pointed my gun at his head and pulled the trigger twice.<br />
<br />
“He was a bad one,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Is he dead?” asked Doc.<br />
<br />
“Yep.”<br />
<br />
“Are you sure?”<br />
<br />
“I made sure.”<br />
<br />
“That one needed killing,” said Doc.<br />
<br />
“How does Hickok figure into this?”<br />
<br />
“He caught an outlaw a few months back who finally gave up Cooker’s hideout in exchange for leniency. Hickcock came to Dodge because he didn’t want to go after him alone. He said since he couldn’t enlist the Calvary, he wanted the next best thing. Matt Dillon.”<br />
<br />
I huffed out a laugh. “He didn’t say that.”<br />
<br />
“Matt, <i>goddamned </i>Wild Bill Hickok looked me right in the face and admitted that he was scared of Cooker.”<br />
<br />
I nodded then shrugged with a tilt of my head. “I guess it’s good that I never met Cooker until I killed him.”<br />
<br />
“Anyway, I copied the map.”<br />
<br />
“What happened to Hickcock?”<br />
<br />
Doc twitched his mustache and took a sip of his coffee. He mumbled something into his cup.<br />
<br />
“What did you say?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“He got drunk for three days then went back to Abilene. He thought you were good as dead.”<br />
<br />
“Can’t say I blame him.”<br />
<br />
“<i>Somebody </i>had to do something,” Doc grumbled.<br />
<br />
“I thought Quint and Festus might come looking for me but only after the thaw to maybe bring my bones back to Dodge. I certainly didn’t expect you, you old fool. And I bet you didn’t tell anybody where you were going.”<br />
<br />
“It’s nobody’s business what I do,” he yelled.<br />
<br />
“You’ll be lucky not to come down with an ague.”<br />
<br />
“I’m fine. Being cold doesn’t make you sick. That’s a myth – what’s so funny?”<br />
<br />
“Nothing, Doc. Nothing at all,” I said, shaking my head. “I still can’t believe it.”<br />
<br />
“I had a map. And I used a compass, unlike <i>some </i>people I know,” he said, cutting his eyes at me.<br />
<br />
“Never had much use for either,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I didn’t find the hideout but I did find a heap of logs called Fort Hardy.”<br />
<br />
“You were about ten miles off course.”<br />
<br />
“I stayed a couple of days there, resting my horse and setting the broken arm of an Indian boy who turned up. Those so-called cavalrymen told me about some old prospector’s shanty and this farm. The weather was good so I set out.”<br />
<br />
“Doc, it’s December in the Colorado mountains. The weather is <i>never </i>good.”<br />
<br />
“Not a cloud in the sky and I rode in my shirtsleeves. I made such good time that I passed on stopping at that dirty old shack. It was clear blue skies until I got halfway up the slope. All the sudden, it was black as night and blowing cold as hell. My compass froze right away. I couldn’t see to go back down so I just kept going up. It was late afternoon when I go to the top. I thought I heard a dog bark. I tried to follow him but I lost him. I’d about given up when my horse smelled your fire. I let him bring me here. Took another couple of hours of going from tree to tree trying not to slide down that hill.”<br />
<br />
“Doc, you have the luck of the devil.”<br />
<br />
“Apparently, so do you.”<br />
<br />
“Crazy or not, I’m obliged to you, Doc.”<br />
<br />
“You would’ve done the same for me.”<br />
<br />
We smiled fondly at each other until we both looked away, a little red in the face. Doc tugged on his ear. I took a sip of my coffee.<br />
<br />
“Are you in any pain?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“Starting to feel it.”<br />
<br />
“James has this poppy stem tea. Kept me from coughing myself inside out.”<br />
<br />
I saw him take in my bare feet and untucked shirt. I casually ran a hand through my hair, trying to smooth it down. <br />
<br />
“How long have you been here?” he asked.<br />
<br />
“Coming up on a month, in a couple of days.” I told him about my illness and recovery with the help of James’s doctoring.<br />
<br />
“Jimmy seems like a pretty smart kid.”<br />
<br />
“James is nineteen – not exactly a kid.”<br />
<br />
Doc raised his brows and stared at me over the rim of his cup.<br />
<br />
I turned away and walked to the fireplace. I moved the Dutch oven of rabbit stew to the hearth. Miraculously, it had not burned. James was taking a long time with Doc’s horse. I fiddled unnecessarily with the big water kettle, poked at the fire and generally tried not to keep glancing at the door. Doc had to be told about me and James but I wanted to do it together. Or maybe I was afraid to do it alone. <br />
<br />
“Don’t worry about Jimmy,” said Doc.<br />
<br />
I flinched guiltily. “What?”<br />
<br />
“You keep looking at the door.”<br />
<br />
“No I -- .” I sighed and shoved my fists into my back pockets, something I hadn’t done since I was a boy. “Listen, Doc. I have something to tell you. I’m -- .”<br />
<br />
James and Mortimer tumbled in, stomping and flinging snow. James had her arms full with Doc’s saddle bags and case.<br />
<br />
“That was a long time just to put up a horse,” I said, a little too loudly.<br />
<br />
James gave me a dark look. “Close the door, please,” she said, setting the bags on the floor.<br />
<br />
I opened my mouth, closed it then I did as I was told. I helped her out of her coat, brushing the snow off the shoulders and hanging it on its hook. When she toed off her boots, I lined them up by the door. I could feel Doc watching.<br />
<br />
“I brought in your bags, Dr. Adams,” said James. “Your horse had thrown a shoe and chipped his hoof to the quick. I filed it down a bit to make him more comfortable.” She walked over and pressed the inside of her wrist to his forehead. “You look a sight better.”<br />
<br />
Doc reached up and took her hand. He turned it over in his and stroked his thumb across her knuckles. He held her wrist loosely in the circle of his fingers. He peered into her face.<br />
<br />
“You’re a girl,” he said.<br />
<br />
“Yes, sir,” said James, looking him in the eye. “I am.”<br />
<br />
She took off her hat. Her long queue dropped down her back. The pink ribbon she’d tied at the end had come undone from its bow. I went over and stood next to her. He gazed at the two of us in silence. He leaned back in his chair.<br />
<br />
“Good heavens,” he said quietly.<br />
<br />
“Galen, I was going to tell you,” I said.<br />
<br />
“That’s only the second time you’ve used my given name. The first time, you thought I was dying.”<br />
<br />
“I... we...” I lifted James’s other hand and showed him the ring.<br />
<br />
He blinked. “That’s the ring from – when did you --?”<br />
<br />
James looked at the clock on the mantel. “Three hours and thirty-seven minutes ago.”<br />
<br />
“Good <i>heavens</i>,” whispered Doc.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
~~Chapter 13<br />
<br />
Icy rain ticked against the window glass and the wind made a sound in the chimney like the distant whistle of a train. Doc gazed at James. He still held her hand and didn’t seem inclined to let go. I knew enough to stand quiet, to let him think it through.<br />
<br />
“I thought I was delirious when I first saw those eyes,” he said, finally. He glanced over at the painting of James’s mother. “Get those from her?”<br />
<br />
“My father, actually,” said James.<br />
<br />
“Where is your family?”<br />
<br />
James tilted her head toward me. “Standing right there,” she said.<br />
<br />
“I see,” said Doc. “And that accent. French Creole?”<br />
<br />
“My mother only ever spoke French.”<br />
<br />
They studied each other. I stepped away and leaned against the wall by the fireplace.<br />
<br />
“I know what you’re thinking, Dr. Adams,” James said. “Matt has a healing bullet wound in his leg. If I could help it, I would not have him suffer another. But a woman can’t make a man be what he’s not. I would <i>never </i>ask him to be a farmer or a shopkeeper for me. I’ve loved him from almost the moment I saw him and I intend to spend my life making him happy.”<br />
<br />
Doc raised his brows and blinked a few times. He looked at James’s hand in his. He twitched his mustache and gave a small, one-sided tilt of his head.<br />
<br />
“I think that’s all I need to know,” he said. He jerked his thumb at me. “The way he looks at you though, I think he might leap off a cliff if you asked him to.”<br />
<br />
“That’s funny. He said the same thing.”<br />
<br />
“Did he, now,” Doc chuckled.<br />
<br />
“Stop talking about me like I’m not standing right here,” I said, frowning.<br />
<br />
Doc finally released James’s hand. “Let’s see about these socks,” he said, lifting a foot out of the bucket.<br />
<br />
James knelt and gently slid her finger under the edge of his sock. Her wedding ring glinted warmly in the lamplight.<br />
<br />
“Not as bad as all that,” she said. “I think we can get them off without too much trouble.”<br />
<br />
“All right,” said Doc. He set his jaw as James slowly peeled off his socks.<br />
<br />
“Your skin is a little mottled but no blisters – yet,” James remarked. “Your feet are soft. That’s a good sign. I bet they hurt, though.”<br />
<br />
“Like the dickens.”<br />
<br />
“Can you wiggle your toes?”<br />
<br />
“Yep.”<br />
<br />
She reached into the folds of the quilt and pressed her hand to Doc’s chest. “You seem to be warming up well. I think something for the pain wouldn’t stop your heart at this point.”<br />
<br />
“You talk like a doctor,” said Doc.<br />
<br />
“Matt thinks I’d make a good gunman,” said James. “Is there something in your case that you want? I can otherwise make you a tea, if you like?”<br />
<br />
“The tea is fine. Same difference, if you ask me.”<br />
<br />
“Perhaps less precise than a measured dose.”<br />
<br />
“Honey, <i>none </i>of it’s precise.”<br />
<br />
Doc’s eyes traveled from James to me and back again while she made the tea, taking it all in, probably making sure he wasn’t delirious after all. James gave him the tea, holding his hands cupped in hers for a moment. Doc took a sip, grimaced then yawned. James put her hands on her hips.<br />
<br />
I took a tiny step back. Doc looked slightly alarmed.<br />
<br />
“Dr. Adams, you will finish your tea, have some supper then you must rest,” James said. “Fortunately, there’s no shortage of men’s clothes in this house. I will put out a nightshirt and socks for you. Matt, put those two bricks in the fire and make Dr. Adams a bowl of stew. I’ll go ready the bed in the other room so that the two of you can pretend that you are not talking about me.”<br />
<br />
“She does kind of look at a fella like she’s sighting down the barrel of a gun,” said Doc, when James left the room.<br />
<br />
“She hits what she’s aiming at.” I said.<br />
<br />
“Your kind of woman.”<br />
<br />
“I was in love with that girl before I even got off my horse.”<br />
<br />
I put the bricks in the coals to heat then put a couple of spoonfuls of stew in a bowl and set it on the side table next to Doc’s chair. He sipped his tea, his eyes roaming my face.<br />
<br />
“Speak your piece,” I said.<br />
<br />
“You can’t do <i>anything </i>the easy way, can you?”<br />
<br />
I went back to my spot against the wall next to the fireplace. “In some ways, Doc, this is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”<br />
<br />
“I’m listening.”<br />
<br />
“When I caught up to Cooker and he shot me, it wasn’t so much <i>dying </i>that bothered me. It was dying in an abandoned mine with only a child-murdering rapist for company. That’s worse than dying alone. I didn’t die in that mine and I didn’t bleed to death when I dug the bullet out of my leg. But in the days after, I was cold and hungry, almost out of bullets and getting sicker and sicker. As many times as I’ve been shot and knifed and clubbed over the head, I’ve never felt worse than I did then.”<br />
<br />
“A lung infection is a hard way to die,” said Doc.<br />
<br />
“Then I found James’s brother.”<br />
<br />
“What’s that, you say?”<br />
<br />
“On his way back from Fort Hardy. Got off his mule to climb the slope, slipped and hit his head. Near as I can tell, it killed him quick.” I glanced back to make sure James wasn’t close. “He was her twin.”<br />
<br />
“Oh, for heaven’s sakes. Her <i>twin</i>? That’s real bad.”<br />
<br />
“The wolves had had at him by the time I got there. I shot one of them before I got close, thinking they were feeding on a deer.”<br />
<br />
Doc shook his head and clucked his tongue sympathetically.<br />
<br />
“Doc, it was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Such a lonely death.” I swallowed hard. “I couldn’t do anything for him.”<br />
<br />
“Poor kid,” Doc said softly. I couldn’t tell if he was talking about me or about Lucien.<br />
<br />
“I never used to worry about dying,” I said. “But being in that mine with Cooker then finding James’s brother... It was one thing after another.” I cleared my throat. “A man’s got one life, Doc. He lives it the way he sees it. I couldn’t see mine anymore. When I’m gone, there’s nothing left of me – not even a single photograph. I lay on that ridge up there. I thought I was dead. Then James came out and lit the lamp on the porch.”<br />
<br />
“Have you considered that you might not be in your right mind?” asked Doc. He swept his cup in a wide arc. “That the two of you in this cabin all alone might just be making you both a little <i>crazy</i>? You had a bad fever. She lost her brother. Maybe you’re just happy to be <i>alive</i>.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “It’s not too late to stop this,” he said.<br />
<br />
“It’s done,” I said. “We … didn’t waste any time.”<br />
<br />
“By that reasoning, you should be married a hundred times over.”<br />
<br />
“I never made Kitty – or any of them -- any promises.”<br />
<br />
Doc sat back in his chair. “To borrow a phrase, that’s harder than I’d slam a door,” he said.<br />
<br />
“It was a fight we had for years.”<br />
<br />
He held up a hand. “Yes, yes, I know. <i>‘Bringing the law to the frontier is worth a man’s whole life and everything in it. It doesn’t leave any place for a woman.’</i> I’ve heard you give that speech to half a dozen women before – and after – Kitty.”<br />
<br />
“It was the truth for me. At least it was before I faced Cooker in that mine. He told me that those girls asked for what he gave them. That they <i>loved </i>it.” I swiped a hand over my face and took a long breath through my nose. “There was nothing in his eyes when he said that, Doc. Nothing. Blood was pumping out of the hole in his chest and I put two bullets in his head while he lay there on his back.”<br />
<br />
“Don’t you dare take that on,” said Doc, pointing a finger at me. “You did the right thing. He was dying anyway.”<br />
<br />
“Any guilt I might’ve felt I let go with that second bullet. I think about if I hadn’t stopped him ...” I closed my eyes briefly. “This farm’s only two days ride from that mine.”<br />
<br />
“He’s dead. Forget him.”<br />
<br />
I nodded. We stared silently into the fire, listening to James scold Mortimer for putting his dirty paws on the sheets. Doc looked up at me.<br />
<br />
“Kitty thinks you’re coming back to her, you know. And you want to know why?”<br />
<br />
“Doc, I -- .”<br />
<br />
“Because you always have, son,” he said, gently.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
<br />
I picked up Doc’s pants and jacket, shook them out and hung them on the clothes rail to dry. I draped the blankets over the backs of two kitchen chairs. He watched me silently. I finally walked over and sat in the chair next to him. I propped my forearms on my thighs and laced my fingers together.<br />
<br />
“I’m not proud of how I behaved and I’m not excusing it,” I said. “My actions didn’t always match the words coming out of my mouth. But I wasn’t the be all and end all for her. She had the Long Branch. If I was gone, she’d be fine, not some destitute widow. Kitty’s history didn’t start with me.”<br />
<br />
“Yes, Kitty had options. <i>No</i>, her history didn’t start with you. And no, she didn’t walk down the aisle on her daddy’s arm to be handed over to <i>you</i>.”<br />
<br />
“You know I don’t mean it like that,” I said quietly. “I have the highest respect for her.”<br />
<br />
“Hey. Look at me,” snapped Doc. <br />
<br />
I lifted my eyes briefly to his then turned my gaze to the fire. He laid a hand on my knee.<br />
<br />
“I get it. It feels good to be someone’s knight in shining armor. And Kitty’s not some know-nothing farm girl.” He shook his head. “You both became a habit neither of you could break.”<br />
<br />
I sighed. “I said some pretty hard things to her before I left.”<br />
<br />
“Like?”<br />
<br />
“That if I wanted a wife, I’d go find one.”<br />
<br />
Doc winced as if he’d been stung. “I guess you went out and did just that,” he said.<br />
<br />
“I wasn’t planning to. Doc, I got to the end of Front Street, turned around, went back to my house and got that ring.”<br />
<br />
Doc shook his head again.<br />
<br />
“I don’t understand it either,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Matt, an experience like what you went through with Cooker would change even the hardest of men. But did you <i>have </i>to marry the first girl you saw? This <i>particular </i>girl.”<br />
<br />
“I know what I’m in for.”<br />
<br />
“Do you? Does she? And what about your children?”<br />
<br />
“We’ll live where people mind their own business.”<br />
<br />
“And then what?”<br />
<br />
“I have something I hadn’t considered seriously until I rode out of Dodge. Something that I might’ve done anyway... things going the way they were.”<br />
<br />
“Stop being so <i>damn </i>cryptic.”<br />
<br />
I went to my saddlebags and took out my wallet. I pulled out a business card tucked inside. The paper was stout, woven with linen and discreetly expensive. I brought it over to Doc.<br />
<br />
“This,” I said.<br />
<br />
Doc held the card under the lamp light. His brows went up.<br />
<br />
“This man’s a hired gun.”<br />
<br />
“Some people say that. Usually from the wrong side of a set of prison bars.”<br />
<br />
“Dangerous way to make a living. Maybe even more so than being a marshal. And you won’t exactly have the law on your side.”<br />
<br />
“Maybe not strictly speaking, but enough that I’ll rest easy.” I put the card back in my wallet.<br />
<br />
“I thought he worked alone.”<br />
<br />
“I ran into him in St. Louis last year. Told me to look him up if I ever wanted to make a change.”<br />
<br />
“Well, the money would sure be good.”<br />
<br />
“And I won’t have to go into exile in Mexico or the Northern Territories somewhere just because I have a wife.” I paused. “And...”<br />
<br />
“And, between you and him, folks know she’s yours, Jimmy is safe as a princess in a tower.”<br />
<br />
“Like I said, people will mind their own business.”<br />
<br />
“Sounds like you got it all figured out -- and with a girl whose history starts with <i>you</i>.”<br />
<br />
I looked over and saw James standing in the bedroom doorway. Her eyes shone in the lamplight. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her baggy dungarees. She smiled at me with one side of her mouth. I could feel my heart beat a little faster and a little deeper.<br />
<br />
“It’s a new history for me, too,” I said. “And a future I <i>certainly </i>didn’t see coming.”<br />
<br />
James and I stared at each other. Doc stared at us both. He sighed.<br />
<br />
“I guess that’s it, then,” he said. He huffed a laugh. “You know. I kind of figured you might do this one day.” He raised his cup to James. “That <i>whoever </i>she was, she was going to be something.”<br />
<br />
James narrowed her eyes skeptically. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Dr. Adams. You haven’t eaten your supper like I ordered.”<br />
<br />
“Oh, I plum forgot, Miss Jimmy,” said Doc. He set down his tea and took a bite of the rabbit stew. “This is real good. You’re a fine cook.”<br />
<br />
“Matt made it, not me,” said James, walking over to Doc. She pressed her wrist to his forehead. “How do you feel?”<br />
<br />
“Tired.”<br />
<br />
“Finish that then it’s to bed. You need nourishment and rest.”<br />
<br />
Doc winked at me and grinned up at James. “If I had a nickel for every time I said that to Matt Dillon.”<br />
<br />
“Humph,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Never mind him, Dr. Adams,” said James, pointing at the bowl of food.<br />
<br />
“Yes, ma’am,” said Doc, digging into his stew. When he put his bowl aside, he yawned again. “I’m starting to feel a little floaty.<br />
<br />
James knelt by the fireplace and removed the heated bricks with a pair of iron tongs. She wrapped them in flannel and held them out to me. “Here,” she said. “Help Dr. Adams into bed.”<br />
<br />
“I can manage,” said Doc.<br />
<br />
James’s frown was severe.<br />
<br />
“That was exactly the wrong thing to say,” I murmured in Doc’s ear, as I helped him out of his chair.<br />
<br />
I dressed him in the nightshirt and wool socks with only token resistance from him then tucked him into bed with the warmed bricks at his feet. When I pulled the heavy quilt to his chin, I thought he’d fallen asleep. I reached over to turn down the bedside lamp. He stopped me with a hand on my arm.<br />
<br />
“Not true,” he whispered, his words slurred with exhaustion and poppy stem tea.<br />
<br />
“What’s not true?”<br />
<br />
“Nothing left of you. A big chunk of Kansas has got you right here.” He splayed his hand on the quilt above his heart. “<i>I’ve</i> got you.” His eyes drifted shut.<br />
<br />
I turned down the lamp and made sure his glass of water was within reach. I smoothed his hair back and rested my hand on his cheek.<br />
<br />
“I’ve got you too, old man,” I whispered.<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b><br />
<br />
<br />
When I walked back into the front room, James was setting the table for supper.<br />
<br />
“How is he?”<br />
<br />
“He’s out.”<br />
<br />
“I’ll wake him in a few hours to see how his feet are doing. He’s a much easier patient than you are.”<br />
<br />
“Yeah, well. Wait until he gets his strength back.”<br />
<br />
“While I was in making up the bed, it sounded like the two of you were having a pretty serious debate.”<br />
<br />
I wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned back and looked down into her face. “It was no debate,” I said.<br />
<br />
“I suppose our honeymoon will have to wait.”<br />
<br />
“Says who?”<br />
<br />
“Matt, Dr. Adams is in the next room.”<br />
<br />
“You’ll just have to be quiet, then.”<br />
<br />
“<i>Me</i>?”<br />
<br />
I picked her up and held her against my body. <br />
<br />
“Yes, <i>you</i>. Also, take it easy with me. You don’t know your own strength.”<br />
<br />
I dipped her backward and ran my lips across her jaw and down her neck.<br />
<br />
“Put me down,” she said, giggling. “That stew will turn to mush if we don’t eat it now. Aren’t you hungry?”<br />
<br />
“Not for stew.”<br />
<br />
She sobered. “Was it only this morning?”<br />
<br />
I set her on her feet. “Long day.”<br />
<br />
“Our wedding day -- such as it was.”<br />
<br />
“And now, our wedding night.”<br />
<br />
“Should we, Matt? I mean, I know he’ll be with us all winter but --.”<br />
<br />
I slid my hand into the gap in her shirt. She’d dressed in a hurry when Doc arrived and hadn’t put on her camisole. I cupped her breast in my hand, squeezing gently then rubbing her nipple in a circular motion with my palm. James sighed and leaned into the feeling.<br />
<br />
“You would be hard to leave be,” I murmured.<br />
<br />
She looked over her shoulder at Doc’s room. “I suppose he will be asleep for a few hours ...”<br />
<br />
“He might be, yes”.<br />
<br />
James walked over to the fire and moved the stew onto the hearth. She went into our bedroom. After a moment, she came back out. She looked at me expectantly.<br />
<br />
“You sure think in a straight line, cowboy,” I said.<br />
<br />
She frowned, confused.<br />
<br />
I grinned. “I’ll be in in a minute.” I almost added, “<i>After I do my rounds</i>.”<br />
<br />
Being a creature of habit, I <i>did </i>do rounds, of a sort. I banked the fire and turned down the lamps. I looked in on Doc. After a moment’s hesitation, I put the bar back on the front door then went to the anteroom off the kitchen and bolted the back door.<br />
<br />
I checked our water stores and made a mental note to top off the barrels in the morning. The big wood box was nearly full but I decided that it could stand a few more sticks. We were going to need more of everything since we had Doc with us. Clyde had come home with the sacks of supplies from Fort Hardy still strapped to his back: sugar, dried beans, coffee, flour, ten pounds of salted side meat, iron nails, writing paper and a new axe head. We had chickens and venison that would’ve stretched for two, but now we were three. There were also two extra horses on the farm now. It would be a lean winter but I wasn’t too worried. The wolves had pushed the game our way so the hunting was good and --.<br />
<br />
“Mr. Dillon.”<br />
<br />
I spun around. A naked James stood in the bedroom doorway.<br />
<br />
I covered the space between us in two strides. I lifted her with my hands around her waist and carried her into the bedroom. I sat her on the edge of the bed.<br />
<br />
“I’m going to close the door,” I said.<br />
<br />
“It’s going to get cold in here.”<br />
<br />
“It’s also going to get loud,” I said, closing the door.<br />
<br />
I stood looking down at James as I unbuttoned my shirt. She leaned back on her elbows, causing her breasts to gather at the center of her chest. Her nipples were large and dark. I hadn’t had time to put on my under clothes when Doc arrived, either. I peeled off my shirt and draped it over the chair. I’d lost quite a bit of weight from being so sick. Beltless, my pants hung low enough on my hips that you could see where my pubic hair began.<br />
<br />
James shivered.<br />
<br />
“Are you cold?” I asked quietly.<br />
<br />
“No,” she breathed.<br />
<br />
I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my pants, pushed them down my hips and stepped out of them. My cock was as hot and hard as if I hadn’t had my release in a year. James slid a hand between her legs and squeezed her thighs together. I’d never watched a woman touch herself in that way before.<br />
<br />
“Need any help?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“I want to feel you inside me,” she said.<br />
<br />
“Plenty of time for that.”<br />
<br />
James sat up. She ran her hand up the inside of my thigh. She held my balls in the cup of her hand.<br />
<br />
“So warm,” she whispered. She lifted them and peered underneath. She jumped and snatched her hand away.<br />
<br />
“They <i>move</i>,” she gasped.<br />
<br />
“Yes.”<br />
<br />
“Do they do that all the time? Why? Can you make them do that?”<br />
<br />
“Yes. No – can we talk about this some other time?”<br />
<br />
“Of course.”<br />
<br />
James continued her examination, stroking her palm up the underside of my shaft. She pinched it gently between her thumb and two fingers, drawing my foreskin over the head. I let out a long shaky breath. She released me, watching the skin spring back. I wrestled with my self-control. Her touch was light but I was going to come if she didn’t stop.<br />
<br />
“James -- .”<br />
<br />
“Did you like it when a woman puts you in her mouth?” she asked.<br />
<br />
I blinked, startled. “Wha – how--?” I stuttered.<br />
<br />
“Will you teach me?”<br />
<br />
Before I could answer, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against me in a kiss. My hips flexed involuntarily. The head of my cock slipped past her lips and met her teeth. I shuddered and moaned deep in my chest. I started to withdraw but James opened her mouth and drew more of me in. I loved being inside a woman but this ... lips and tongue and watching myself slide in and out ... <i>this </i>sent me wild. Her mouth was soft and hot and it took every ounce of strength in me not to thrust forward. I bent at the waist and slipped out. I gripped myself in my fist and squeezed. I desperately tried to hold back my orgasm but it was too late. <br />
<br />
“<i>Ah</i>. Oh, God.” I cried, my words jerking from my throat.<br />
<br />
My cock pulsed strongly in my hand and I came with a force that brought me to my knees. I caught the jet of hot semen in the cup of my trembling hands, groaning loudly as I throbbed once, twice and again in rapid succession. I collapsed from my kneeling position onto James, pushing her flat into the mattress. I started to shift to keep from crushing her but she squeezed my ribs between her warm thighs and held me there, her fingers stroking through my hair. When I could move again, I wiped my hands on the flannel that the ever-prepared James had on the side table. I climbed into the bed and pulled James on top of me. I tugged the quilt over both of us and held James with her head on my chest. I could tell she was listening to the pounding of my heart – and probably my lungs, too. I felt her smile against my skin.<br />
<br />
“What’s so funny?” I asked.<br />
<br />
“I guess you do like it when a woman puts you in her mouth,” she said.<br />
<br />
“Yes, well. The night isn’t over yet,” I said.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>xxxXXXxxx</b>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-63405007753456193612014-10-23T11:14:00.000-07:002014-10-27T19:41:37.073-07:00I Fail to See the Logic in Your Remaining Clothed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-19648868095319906112014-10-23T11:09:00.001-07:002014-10-23T11:09:42.946-07:00Still Has All the Hot<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-72221082595142748552014-10-22T20:38:00.000-07:002014-10-23T11:00:17.928-07:00This Is the Best Shirt in the World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27826003.post-86742768951268225462014-10-22T20:17:00.001-07:002014-10-23T10:58:29.844-07:00Spock Rocks Up, Pannies Fly Off<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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